Mounjaro

Over in Yorkshire, England, new Mounjaro user Lord Yorkshire Pudding has reported a miraculous seven pound weight reduction in just one week. We sent our roving reporter Belle Taco to meet him in his quaint medieval castle deep in The Yorkshire Dales.

Pudding said that his wife, Lady Arabella Pudding had given him his first jab last Monday, charging across the kitchen with his lethal new Mounjaro spear pen - shouting "Geronimo!" before fiercely embedding it in his belly just west of the famous fluff-filled navel that has famously featured in several women's magazines.

Asked about his eating regime in the past seven days, Lord Pudding said, "For breakfast each day I have had a banana and an easy-peel orange along with my habitual pint of tea. For lunch, I have eaten - for example - small tins of mackerel in spicy tomato sauce along with a handful of kale cooked in the microwave. Evening meals have been pretty much as normal though I have kept  a sensible eye on my portion sizes. Also, there have been no desserts and the only snacks I have had have been grapes and sugar-free liquorice gums."

He continued, "These are early days yet. I hope to lose around three stones with the assistance of Mounjaro but we will see how it goes."

Asked about how Mounjaro had affected him so far, Lord Pudding replied, "I have felt no ill effects. The drug has definitely reduced my food cravings and I simply have not missed my usual snacks - such as the occasional biscuit or bag of potato crisps. In seven days, I have not had a single slice of bread so it has been an auspicious start but as I say, we will see how it goes. Many other people have reported successful and significant weight loss within six months so I am hoping I can join them."

Lord Pudding was motivated to give much-publicised Mounjaro a try in order to help him in his ongoing battle with high blood pressure and the threat of becoming a Type 2 diabetic. "I am taking five different hypertension reduction pills and to a degree they have worked but losing weight would greatly benefit this campaign ," he smiled.

Meanwhile in the castle kitchen, Lady Arabella was cackling as she prepared his lordship's next dose of Mounjaro - the three inch stiletto needle catching the electric light like a diamond ring.