I do the majority of our grocery shopping at "Lidl" and "Aldi" though I notice that a new "Netto" store will be opening on Queens Road this month. It will be like meeting up with an old friend - that Scottie dog with the basket in his mouth. "Netto" is Danish for "value" you know.
Anyway I nipped into the supermarket of the well-heeled and affluent today - "Waitrose" - visited by coiffured women with haughty expressions and corduroy men with Range Rovers. They looked at me askance when I refused to doff my cap. Well, I wasn't wearing a cap but you know what I mean.
I was looking for fox food. And finally I found it in the pet section - massive cans of chunks in gravy with rabbit and turkey. Clever wording I think. Not chunks of rabbit and turkey but "chunks in gravy". Chunks of what I wonder? Tripe?
The can cost me one British pound in spite of the amateurish label design. Why put a picture of a dog on food intended for foxes? And the writing at the top looks as if a lowly paid supermarket worker had just picked up a blue felt tip pen. Besides, if I were marketing fox food I'd call it "Reynard" "Vulpine Delight", "Farmer's Best" , "Ukrainian Village" or "Fox Feast by Jan Blawat". Not "Fox Food". That is so naff.