3 June 2015

Updates

1) Last evening Fred Fox came to the middle of our lower lawn and seemed delighted to have discovered a bowl of "Fox Food" by Waitrose waiting for him. Instead of gobbling it down with gusto, he crammed as many chunks in his vulpine jaws as he could and ran off to hide them some place. Then he came back for the rest. As you can see, I managed to snap him in the fading light tonight - through our kitchen window.
Mmmm! "Fox Food"! It's delicious!

2) My friend Higgy remains in diagnostic limboland. Didn't Hamlet say "Osteoporosis or bone cancer, that is the question..."? He obliged me to do something I haven't done in twenty seven years when I popped into the "Spar" shop at Hunter's Bar to buy him two packs of "Embassy Number One".  £10.15 per pack makes each cigarette cost over fifty pence. I would have been happier buying him food supplies but Higgy's relationship with food is unusually difficult. The same is not true of his relationships with tobacco, lager and waccy baccy.

3) Sepp Blatter has resigned as President of The FIFA Gravy Train. He is trying desperately to depart with dignity when he knows that the legal wolves have him in his sights and are starting to circle. His deluded daughter Corrine imagines her daddy is being cruelly victimised.

There was an old trickster called Sepp
A pirate just like Johnny Depp
On June the Second
Retirement beckoned 
When he heard The Grim Reaper's quickstep.

Minotaur mosaic at Knossos, Crete
4) We may be off on a Mediterranean holiday in the next two weeks. I am looking at good deals in Crete - opting this time for a "package holiday" rather than the tailored kind of trip I frequently create via the machinations of the internet. Sometimes a package can work out cheaper and I think this will be the case with Crete. But it is still not booked yet.

5) Yesterday Shirley had a "once in a lifetime" experience - attending a garden party at Buckingham Palace in London. This year is the centenary of The Women's Institute and every branch in the country was allowed to send one rep. I believe my mother went to the fiftieth anniversary party, representing my home village's W.I. in 1965. The Queen wasn't hosting yesterday's event - it was instead The Duchess of Cornwall. I bet she didn't have to spend forty five minutes in a lavatory queue! Eight thousand women! If I had been there I would have had a jimmy riddle in the rhododendrons with the corgis.
The Duchess of Cornwall talks with the Calendar Girls (left to right) Angela Knowles, Ros Fawcett and Patricia Stewart
The Duchess of Cornwall sharing dirty jokes with The Calendar
Girls at yesterday's WI Garden Party. Have you heard the one
about Adrian and the vicar's wife in a camper van?

17 comments:

  1. Oh! Dear! That doesn't mean I have to curtsy every time I enter your blog from now on, does it, Yorky? God! What next????

    How great that Fred returned. You've made yourself a new friend now. I think this is a lovely tale about our bushy-tailed mate.

    Johnny Depp is down here at the moment filming the latest Jack Sparrow adventure/misadventure. He's caused a few headlines, but this week they've all been good as he's been playing up to the crowds that congregate each day on the wharf to bid him off for his day of filming out in Moreton Bay and are there again in force to greet him at day's end. Yesterday, in particular, he mingled with his adoring fans for over an hour. He's trying to get back into everyone's good graces after trying to smuggle his two dear little dogs into the country. Said pups have since been returned to the States...safe and sound.

    And now that I've written a short story...I'll not add to it by blathering on about Blatter, other than to say - "Who was he trying to kid?"

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    1. Australia has gone soft! Depp should have been imprisoned for defying your clear rules about the importation of pets. Also, how does an uninteresting nobody like Depp attract so many "adoring fans".? They need their heads examining.

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    2. I blogged about Johnny Depp a couple of weeks ago YP ~ you missed your opportunity to have your two pence worth. We have moved on.

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    3. Okay Carol but what else rhymes with "Sepp"?

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  2. I just have to see a picture of Shirley in her garden party dress! Please!

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    1. Sorry Mama Thyme, Buckingham Palace Security insist that there should be no photos. The punishment is beheading. However, she did sneak a couple of pictures but they are on her phone and I don't know how to transfer them.

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  3. Well this seems to have covered all the bases.
    Buck House sounds like a bit of a scrum.
    I couldn't wait forty five minutes.

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    1. Did you see the caption after the last photo Adrian?

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    2. Yes, I ignored it. I wouldn't go near a vicars wife. It's hard enough to imagine anyone becoming a vicar but to marry one beggars belief.

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  4. 1) Good to know Fred approves of your choice of chunks. He'll be back for more, I'm sure.
    2) Poor Higgy. I think I would have done the same. The last time I bought fags was in 1988 for my then boyfriend. Love makes you do stupid things sometimes.
    3) No escape from the whole FIFA thing this week, whatever news channel I go to. I'm already sick and tired of it.
    4) Good luck; I hope you'll have a great holiday.
    5) Like Peace Thyme Garden and Weather Station, I'd love to see Shirley's garden party dress. Can't she just slip it on one more time and you take a picture of her? Or at least put it on a coat hanger and show us the dress (plus shoes, handbags, hat etc.).
    8.000 women... goodness! The noise of their chatter must have been enormous.

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    1. Yes - the noise of their chatter. It would be like an army of macaques swarming over a jungle temple or a plague of locusts descended upon an African maize field.....Err, by the way, I don't "love" Higgy!

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  5. Congratulations to Shirley! :)

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  6. I went to one once. Fortunately I met some other reluctant husbands (Reluctant to be there rather than - so far as I know- reluctant to be husbands. Actually come to think of it......) I knew and we all went off and formed a branch of the Stornoway Coves and let our wives go and 'meet the Royals'. That may sound sexist but that's how it was.

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    1. I am very surprised that you were not mistaken for a prince Graham - or at least an earl, maybe a marquis, okay maybe a town crier - well, possibly a lollipop man?

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  7. I thought of Shirley when I saw the news about the WI garden party, at the same time I was reading about the prank tweet by the BBC reporter heralding the Queen's death. See my comment about Johnny Depp above.

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    1. I didn't hear about that prank tweet Carol. I shall research it. Some people's idea of humour is warped. QEII is gonna live forever!

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