As an unashamed Americophile, I am proud that this blog receives lots of visitors from The United States. In fact "Yorkshire Pudding" frequently attracts more American visitors than British. My independent tracking system has even discerned that over the weekend this blog received three late night visits from the Mar-a-Lago estate at Palm Beach, Florida. This is Donald Trump's "southern White House". If my suspicions are correct I would just like to say to the 45th President - you are not welcome here you sporran-headed twerp!
Given the number of American visitors, I think it is an opportune time to provide a free English language lesson. As you may appreciate, I am such a generous fellow! Over the years I have noted a multitude of glaring errors in American use of English. Across the Atlantic Ocean, our shared and precious language has been on the slide for ages and it's nigh time that our American cousins were gently put back on the rails with advice about English from the very home of English - England!
So my American cousins, please study the following chart in order to learn some of the errors of your ways. As soon as you have mastered the correct vocabulary you should begin employing it in everyday communication. Too long hast thou erred - I urge thee to return to the path of righteousness!
Depending upon response to this post, let's just think of it as Lesson One. There are numerous other lessons waiting in the Yorkshire Pudding pipeline!