12 October 2017

Billion

Multiply this million pound palette by a thousand
At first, if I happened to win a billion pounds or found a billion pounds in a very, very large suitcase I wouldn't know what to do with it. However, I have already decided that I would spend some of the money buying gifts for blogging friends and acquaintances - to thank them for their kind association.

Working down my sidebar bloglist here are the gifts I am thinking of...

For ADDY at "Alcoholic Daze" a Japanese motorbike, tight red leathers and a helmet so that she can whizz more easily through the London traffic to visit her 94 year old mother in hospital.

For Jan Blawat near Sacramento in California a new Winnebago Vista to travel to shows across America with her poultry and not have to pay for hotel rooms.

For Libby at "D-Scribes" a long weekend away with her "Mister" in New York City with carers recruited to look after her aged parents while she's away.

For Jenny at "Demob Happy Teacher" a tartan shopping trolley so that she  can visit local shops and not have to lug heavy bags back home.

For Graham at "Eagleton Notes" a carbon fibre fishing rod and a basket of fishing gear so that he can fish from the rocks and beach near his home on the Isle of Lewis. His catches will help to supplement his meagre pension.

For Kylie at "Eclectica" who does so much good for other people, a voucher for $5000 AUS to be spent exclusively on herself at Sydney's top department store - arguably Myers.

For Meike in Ludwigsburg a fashion shoot with one of Germany's top fashion photographers and access to any clothes sold in the Breuninger department store in Stuttgart.
For John Gray in Trelawnyd, Wales a hefty cheque to cover the cost of revamping his kitchen and to provide Winnie with a lifetime's supply of frilly bulldog knickers (pink).

For Helen in Brisbane a pair of air tickets to anywhere she and her long-suffering husband Tony wish to travel next.

For Red in Red Deer, Canada a brand new pair of bespoke ice skates with "Red" picked out in glittering red sequins on the side of each boot.

For Hilly in Washington State a brand new Ford Escape SUV to get up and down the track to her rural retreat in the woods.

For Lee on Tamborine Mountain, Queensland I shall buy her the cabin she lives in with her furry companions - making the pompous owner an offer he can't refuse.

For Derek on The Isle of Sheppey there will be a brand new bike with a wicker basket on the front for his little dog to ride in when they visit the nature reserve.

For Jenny the Procrastinating Donkey in eastern Canada a brand new electric sewing machine.

For my old chum Bob in Georgia whose surname rhymes with "plague" I shall cover the costs incurred by visiting tradesmen such as a plumber, electrician, roofer or painter over the next five years. Optometrist costs will also be covered plus car maintenance.

For Steve in West Hampstead I shall buy three pairs of which ever walking boots his heart desires and damn the cost. He covers quite a few miles on his photo journeys. Also a diamond studded collar for Olga.

For Ian in Greater Manchester  an expertly framed map of Yorkshire (by Michael Drayton 1622) to hang above his fireplace and treasure.

For Jennifer author of  "Sparrow Tree Journal" in South Carolina and her husband Gregg I shall buy a week's holiday on the island of Barbados with luxury kennel expenses covered for her two dogs back home.

For Susan in rural France I shall buy a classic Citroen 2CV so that she can potter about the Gallic countryside with Rick or Paul sitting in the back. The car will be resprayed which ever colour Susan prefers.

For Terry in Hinckley, I shall cover taxi costs for a month so that he can go where ever he wants. The taxi will of course be wheelchair friendly with an adjustable ramp.

For Pat near Bellerby, North Yorkshire I shall cover all removal costs to her new home in Leyburn - when that move eventually happens! Also a large cut glass vase containing white roses to greet her in her new home.
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And when all that spending is done, I shall start to think of other ways of disposing of my giant windfall. There'll be a million for Oxfam, a million for The Labour Party and a million to support Friends of the Earth in their battle against fracking in the English countryside. I shall phone our two grown up kids to tell them to pick which ever London homes they want from Right Move. Then I'll take Shirley out for fish and chips - over which we will begin to plan our round the world trip.

32 comments:

  1. A week in Barbados! And luxury kennels for Ginger and George! Wow, you really know how to spoil your friends!! That sounds fabulous.

    Thanks for the big smile this morning!

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    1. Don't forget your sun cream Jennifer!

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  2. Oh wow! Thank you! David Jones would have you believe they are the best department store but Myer is more my speed. You are on the money.
    I'll start with some new sheets and towels, will i go for linen sheets or bamboo? I know, how about both!

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    1. Bamboo sheets? Won't they be a little uncomfortable and stiff?

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  3. How thoughtful! Thanks ever so much. Speaking of car maintenance, I just had to get four new tires and a front-end alignment (on the car, not on me) that set me back $725 USD. And speaking of eyes, the doctor has changed my monthly eye injection for the macular degeneration from a $50-per-shot medication to a $2,000-per-shot medication. Fortunately, the Medicare (poor imitation of your NHS) covers 80% of the cost and a foundation grant covers almost all of the remainder. But your choice of gifts is spot on for an old guy living on a fixed income.

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    1. Not old Bob - senior! Senior sounds better. When I get my billion just send me the bills and I'll cover them all for you.

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  4. That collar is PERFECT for Olga! In fact, I kind of want one for myself. Is that wrong? As for the walking shoes, they would be much appreciated and would certainly get lots of use in coming months as I finish off the LOOP! (After which comes the Capital Ring!)

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    1. Yes. That is wrong Steve. You may need counselling or a lead.

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  5. Sounds really grand and only a great friend would know to do all of those things. Greetings!

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    1. Sorry you weren't listed Mr B. Because I forgot you I am going to buy you a nice Rolex watch when I get my billion.

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  6. Can I skip the shoot and head straight to the clothes department? And does clothes also mean undies? What about shoes?

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    1. You can have what you want. No problem.

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  7. You have clearly been paying attention to your blogging friends' posts, YP :) And if I had unlimited money I would buy you a set of Trivial Pursuit games (made in Canada), your own pub, and a T-shirt that says "64 is the new 40".

    A fun post!

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    1. I have been researching sewing machines and I think I will buy you a Janome Memory Craft 14000 in white... when the billion pound ship comes in.

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    2. Well, you've upped the ante. Perhaps I'll have to throw in a trip to Canada for you to see the Rockies or the prairies or the Viking settlements or the French fortresses or or or . . .

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    3. I would like to see all of them. You can drive the Chevvy.

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    4. I actually DO drive a Chev :)

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    5. Don't drive it to the levee!

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  8. It is touching that you thought of my Ma and Pa YP....mum is in hospital at the moment as she had a new hip op on Tuesday...thank you very much x

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    1. You are welcome young lady. I hope your mum's recuperation follows an upward trajectory.

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  9. I shall have my Citroen 2CV sprayed blue and Rick can stick his head out of the roof and bark at all the cyclists. Aw, that's a lovely thought, thank you Mr Pudding.

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    1. Paul will be one of the cyclists. Make sure you splash him by deliberately driving through a muddy puddle.

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  10. It' ice to dream once in a while and being generous adds to the fun.

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    1. I don't recognise the expression "It' ice" Red.

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  11. It would have to be a bloody big suitcase, Yorkie! lol

    Your thoughts are most generous, kind sir!

    I, too, dream about what I would do if I were so lucky to win a major prize in the lottery. My needs are simple, but I would gain so much enjoyment out of sharing the winnings with friends and deserved, reputable charities, and ailing folk who needed a hand. It would be so much fun.

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    1. If you win the billion first I humbly request two round the world air tickets, a new car to replace Clint, a new house and "Bathers at Asnières" by Georges Seurat (the original). I'm not greedy.

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    2. Boy! You don't want much!!! lol

      If you win it first, all I want is a simple little cabin, two bedrooms would be more than enough...even just one bedroom would do me....somewhere quiet, overlooking the water (ocean or lake) with no neighbours nearby. I'm happy to stick with Lady, my little Echo...she serves me well. I'm the only person she ferries around; and, perhaps, just a few extra dollars in the bank...just enough to feel secure without having to worry about paying for the mere, basic necessities. :)

      That should do me...but, if perchance, you change your mind and disappear over the horizon if you win the big one...I will understand and forgive. I won't hold it against you, or sue your for breach of promise! :)

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    3. Your Echo will be donated to a car museum and instead a shiny new red Holden Ute HSV GTS-R Maloo will appear outside your residence with a big silk ribbon wrapped around it.

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  12. My, you are a very special person, Mr. Pudding. There are a couple of things that I would like to comment on, please. I noticed that you have given all the canines very luxurious accommodations whilst their families are out and about. This from a person who says he does not like dogs. Odd! Secondly, I can't help but notice that you did not buy season tickets to all of the football games that your beloved team will play for the next gazillion years. Or, maybe you would want to save some of that money and buy a new team that would play in your own neighborhood. That might be fun.

    Remember to stop by my mountain when you and Shirley are on your trip. Big Bear and I will welcome you with open arms and a lovely bottle of your favorite.

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    1. Sorry I didn't include you on my list Mama Thyme. I shall pay for you to visit the world's top eye surgeons to address the issues that you have been battling with. I would also buy you a huge cuddly "Big Bird" from Sesame Street.

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    2. However in the world.....how do you know all of that? I have been to so many doctors for my eye.....I will not give up or stop treatments or the surgeries when required but it gets very discouraging sometimes. But, for today, I am still seeing lights and darks and so it is, indeed, a good day! Thank you for caring, brother!

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  13. a new house and "Bathers at Asnières" by Georges Seurat (the original). I'm not greedy.


    แตกใน xxx

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Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.