The killings have continued. We remain holed up at the head of the valley. Hardly anybody knows that this cavern is here. It isn't even marked on Ordnance Survey maps.
We have only had intermittent internet access but enough to learn that Brexiteers have been taking their revenge on True Patriots everywhere - with public hangings in Green Park, London and on the streets of York, Birmingham and Bristol. It is difficult to calculate how many have fallen. Certainly more than ten thousand.
They call we True Patriots Remoaners. It seems like a lifetime ago when back in 2016 we voted to stay in The European Union. But the Brexiteers won the day with money and false promises and insidious social media tactics driven by an army of Russian bots.
When finally the country cut its ties from The European Union under the leadership of the The Great Clown, chaos ensued. The pound plummeted like a peregrine falcon, there was fighting in supermarkets, ferry services to Europe were suspended and many workplaces shut down.
Banking services were also in chaos and I learnt that my teacher's pension would no longer be paid into our account each month. Someone sprayed the word "Remoana"(sic) on Clint - my silver automobile and a brick was thrown through our front window.
I personally witnessed gangs of Brexiteers pulling True Patriot supporters out of their homes and beating them up. It was very scary. That was when we decided to keep our lights off at night.
Two weeks later - when the Brexiteers had blown up local power stations and had taken over the BBC - we decided to flee. We put on red white and blue clothing like the Brexiteers and I painted over the word "Remoana" on Clint's rear end.
Clint had a full tank of petrol so I knew we could reach anywhere in England. There were road blocks and identity checks. Cars were searched but I had anticipated this. There was nothing incriminating on board. We saw a family being dropped mercilessly from the top of The Ouse Bridge near Goole. The children were screaming desperately for their lives as The Brexiteers guffawed with callous delight. It was truly horrible.
And so here we are now, holed up in the cavern with fifty or so other True Patriots. I cannot tell you our exact location for obvious reasons. We are in touch with other cells of Remoaners scattered around the country and we are preparing to do battle with The Brexiteers somewhere in The Vale of York. We have guns sequestered from the garrison at Catterick.
Their army is gathering. We can see their vape smoke in the distance. Big BoJo has been on the radio stirring his troops with Churchillian war phrases that make my blood curdle. But we are not afraid. We will fight The Brexiteers to the death and secure our rightful place in Europe once more. This is not the end. Just the end of the beginning.
You are indeed brave Commodore Pudding. You will be needed to come out of hiding to command a gunboat on the Leven Canal to guarantee safe passage for convoys from Brexit U-Boats. It will be a dangerous assignment, much more so than your usual fisheries protection duties. You may have to make the ultimate sacrifice.ReplyDelete
There's no way I will guarantee safe passage for Brexit U-Boats Corporal Tasker! I will bomb the *******s from Sandholme Bridge. They shall not pass!Delete
Tasker said "safe passage ... FROM Brexit U-Boats" - parse yer sentences, YP!Delete
I think we're both linguistically inadequate today.Delete
Good job we have a Canadian peacemaker to keep us apart.Delete
It appears the Brexit U-Boats are being mined at this very moment so your services may not be needed after all.Delete
Admiral von Johnson is not so admirable after all.Delete
We know you can't give details, YP, but have you given serious thought to sending Shirley and Frances to a place of safety? Or are they, in true British (Remain) spirit, manning the barricades alongside their menfolk? Shirley's training as a nurse will be of incalculable use, of course.ReplyDelete
We expats on mainland Europe will send our worthless sterling to help with the cause, and are even now setting up camps to house those who manage to escape.
The support of ex-pats living in Spain will be very welcome - just as The International Brigade fought against the fascists in The Spanish Civil War.Delete
Scary times. And I'm not even kidding.ReplyDelete
Perhaps my fantasy is an exaggeration but there is a kernel of truth within it.Delete
I have been a Europhile all my adult life but I can see a future with a factioned, right-wing Europe and it's not a pretty sight.ReplyDelete
I thought we were going forward but now we are going back.Delete
True Yorkshire grit.ReplyDelete
I am a descendant of such brave, no nonsense stalwarts!
I shall cross the pennines on my trusty steed to bring you Lancashire hotpot and black puddings to sustain you. Whilst there I will man the barricades whilst you catch a bit of shut eye.
I feel totally angered and saddened in equal measure about the whole brexit debacle.
I'm so glad you managed to smuggle out my beer mat before you took to your cave........
Thank you, it arrived today.
Cherish that beermat my friend and think of me when my severed head is on a spike at York.Delete
If you can make it safely across the border and find your way to the coast of the Mull of Galloway I shall pop up to Ramsey and throw some supplies to you across the Irish Sea. Will kippers and honey be OK for you?ReplyDelete
I feel kippered honey! But I welcome your offer of practical support.Delete
How did we reach a place where people feel entitled to give reign to their darkest, most isolationist impulses? (Obviously this sad state of affairs goes well beyond British borders.)ReplyDelete
London will be full of Remainer opposition! I'll be manning the barricades!
Will you sing "Do You Hear the People Sing?" from "Les Miserables"?Delete
The frightening thing is that this is not completely outside the realm of possibility if events continue the way they've been going.ReplyDelete
Good luck from across the pond, where we've got our own odious politicians like Maxine Bernier who took his political crap to a new low on the weekend when he attacked teen environmentalist Greta Thunberg on the basis of her Aspergers. I have a good mind to join Twitter so I can register my disgust with him, and my support for her.
Greta Thunberg has attracted some unpleasant remarks over here too. To me she is an angel of hope and clarity.Delete
Too melodramatic. Nice try, but Cormac McCarthy needn't worry.ReplyDelete
Is Cormac McCarthy a Catholic bishop? How many complaints did he receive from the parents of altar boys?Delete
Changes are screeching down your highways and byways as they definitely are in my country. I hope that those who really want to stop the awful careening to real disaster do not get tired and just give up. History will show us many fine people and tribes and countries who have been changed for the worse or completely destroyed in a generation or less. But then, who among our leaders today actually know history? Or anything else, for that matter.ReplyDelete
As an example, our golden leader told the people of Alabama to get ready for the latest hurricane. That they were going to be impacted bigly! Alabama! Of course, after the national weather service issued many corrections to the people in that lovely state with no connection at all to the Atlantic Ocean, our golden boy said that he did not say that....three times.....on television! See?
There was time when liars never got another chance but today lying, arrogance and ignorance are in vogue and our leaders make no apology for these traits.Delete
I think the right and best place for the UK is in the European Union. The vote was close. Why can't the opposition see that their majority is small. Keep up the good fight.ReplyDelete
The initial question was far too simple and many "Leave" voters had no idea what they were voting for. That's the truth.Delete
Gosh you are frightening the horses as well as the people ;) a dramatic reconstruction of something we hope will not happen, what is the answer though?ReplyDelete
The answer is a second referendum.Delete