Something quite sinister is going on. In the past few years, I have become increasingly aware of a secret cult to which many thousands now subscribe. Well, I suppose it is not entirely secret as the adherents boldly advertise their allegiance on items of clothing. Perhaps that is in the rules.
You may have spotted some of these brainwashed people yourself. Somewhere about their persons they will display the legend "The North Face".
At first I would naively ask them, "Where is The North Face?" but they would sneer or smirk at me, zealously guarding the secret of "The North Face".
I have heard that they gather in large public halls, all bearing their "The North Face" logos, looking up at stages where hazy images of "The North Face" appear with transcendental music and a deep, echoey voice says "Pray bow my people. Pay homage to The North Face. The only place where true happiness reigns."
And as "The North Facers" troop from the hall, they swipe their contactless bankcards over beeping terminals that harvest their spare incomes like barley in late summer.
Perhaps no one knows where "The North Face" is. Probably - like Shangri-La or Eldorado - it is to be found on the edge of things - in the netherworld, just beyond our reach.
I am considering leading a counter-culture called "The South Face". We will drink foaming pints of Tetley's bitter and devour pork pies as we march there - all the way to "The South Face". So near but yet so far. Will you join me?