18 January 2023

Construction

 
One Bonfire Night, perhaps thirty years ago, I hammered a spare tanalised fence post into the ground near our kitchen door. The intended purpose was simply to set off a few Catherine wheels on a couple of nails I knocked into the post. The morning after the fireworks, I thought to myself, "I'll turn that into a temporary bird table".

I got a circular shelf from  an old portable barbecue and nailed it to the top of the post. That very day I put birdseed on my primitive new bird table and this feeding habit continued for the next three decades. At first I had thought, "That table might only last three or four years and then I'll have to replace it."

The table started to keel over a month ago -just before Christmas and then in a high wind this past weekend its useful life was over. Below ground level, the wood had finally rotted away. In the photo above you can see Phoebe's automobile,  Clint Junior, surveying the tragic scene.

Fortunately, when Frances asked me what I wanted for Christmas I had had the foresight to say a new bird table from The Royal Society for the Protection of Birds (RSPB). The box duly arrived but remained unopened until this afternoon.


I took all the parts out and laid them on our old dining room table along with the dreaded instructions. I hoped it would all be plain sailing - simply screw it all together and voila!  But of course it wasn't. Some holes were pre-drilled but others weren't and I needed my own electric drill and a hammer to complete the job.

What should have taken an hour to do  took almost three hours and it was dark by the time I finished. I had been hoping that the last picture in the sequence would show a gang of sparrows christening the new bird table but instead all I have got is the finished table waiting for tomorrow. If it lasts another thirty years, I will need to be 100 years old to  witness that particular anniversary. 

42 comments:

  1. Looks like a nice spot for the birdies!

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  2. It's very upmarket! I look forward to the christening photo.

    You remind me I need a new letterbox....

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    1. Why? Do I look like a letterbox? Perhaps it's my mouth.

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  3. To live to be 100, Mr. Pudding, may I suggest you enroll in a Zumba class. I should like to see a photo of you wearing an elasticized headband, a Sheffield United F.C. soccer jersey, and some tight satin running shorts (black to accompany the jersey). I am sure you will live long enough to see many birds. (Now where did I get all that?)

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    1. You have successfully made fun of me! Well done! Now I am going to cry.

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  4. It's beautiful! If I were a bird, this would be my castle.

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    1. I would be a minstrel playing my lute beneath your chamber.

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  5. Good luck with the new apparatus. Birds are great fun to watch.

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    1. In the north of England we sometimes refer to women as birds so you are perfectly right Reddy.

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  6. Looks like a very sturdy bird table, complete with a roof. We will need to see photos of it in the garden too though:)

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    1. I need to get if fixed to the ground so it doesn't blow over.

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  7. It's a very nice feeder. My cockatoos wouldn't fit on it, I just throw seeds on the ground for them here. I used to put out metal pans, but they would pick them up and tip the over or a windy day would see them barrelling along the path, so I stopped that and now they forage from the grass.

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    1. I heard that you are fond of a nice cockatoo River.

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  8. Your avian visitors will enjoy the luxury of a roof, something your old bird table didn't have. One wonders who puts such kits together and decides on pre-drilling some holes, but not all of them.

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  9. It's a rather amazing life span for what you thought was quite temporary. May the new one see you out, or at least until you move to Shady Pines Rest Home. Some holes drilled and some not sounds a little queer.

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    1. I won't be rich enough to get a room in The Shady Pines Rest Home so I will be off to The Grimesthorpe Workhouse.

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  10. That's one very smart bird table - it will be like dining at the Ritz!
    It annoys me when these things come in pieces and I have to put them together!

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    1. DIY packs rarely go well. There were a few swear words yesterday afternoon.

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  11. A very handsome beast... the bird table, I mean.

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    1. The graph went up and then it went down.

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  12. Very fine...how squirrel proof is it?

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    1. For the first thirty years in this house we did not see a single squirrel but in the last three years we have occasionally seen one or two - but not every day.

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  13. Looks magnificent, the only problem that we've had with that style is trying to keep it from blowing over in a gale.

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    1. You are right. That could be an issue but I have a cunning plan.

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    2. Now I imagine you saying that with Baldric's voice of Black Adder.

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  14. Do you not have squirrels? In our area, putting feed on the old or new table would be mostly feeding squirrels than birds. Also in our area, the new one would be laying on the ground due to winds forcing me to pick it up probably once a week. Since you have high hedges, perhaps you will be luckier... or it comes with stakes that you haven't shown.

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    1. No - there are no stakes Ed. I wish there were but I have a couple of ideas to make it secure and we are hardly ever bothered by squirrels.

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  15. Will you leave it in the hall and get some budgies? You could advertise bird tables constructed and flat packs assembled. No job to small. Contact Yorkshire Pudding.

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    1. Being a flat pack assembler would be my nightmare job - suitable only for criminals doing community service.

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  16. It is nice to do things that will outlast us.

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    1. I guess so but in the end does anything matter?

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    2. Well now, that cheery comment took a turn in the reply :)

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  17. It looks quite sturdy. I am sure the birds will be pleased to dine at Chez Pudding.

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  18. You can always leave it to Phoebe in your will so she can think of her dear Grandpa as she welcomes the birds into her garden...

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  19. Wow. The birds of Sheffield car in for 5-star luxury.

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  20. Well, it sounds like it was a pain to put together but you'll make all the birds so happy!

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  21. I love your new bird feeder. For half a second I imagined one in my own backyard and then I remembered the squirrels. For several years I've used a squirrel-proof feeder. The squirrels have given it a good battering but haven't, (as yet), managed to unlock its secrets.

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  22. I am a little reluctant to leave a comment because of your replies, YP, but I guess I'll give it a shot. Hmm, how to word this so you can't twist it . . . your avian visitors will enjoy eating from this more than you enjoyed putting it together . . . how's that? :) (ducks incoming artillery)

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  23. Clint Junior looks entirely too happy about the demise of the bird table. Perhaps an investigation into Clint's past is warranted. I've seen your comments on so many friends' blogs that I had to vist.

    Love,
    Janie Junebug
    www.dumpedfirstwife.blogspot.com

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Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.

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