I went to Dave's funeral today. I knew him for over thirty years. For many of those years he was a regular at my local pub.All his working life was spent with Sheffield Council's Parks and Gardens Department. He even lived in the Victorian park keeper's house by the entrance to one of Sheffield's most popular parks. That is where he and his wife raised their three children.
Dave spent all of his working life outdoors and he was not religious in any way so it was fitting that the funeral farewells were said at Apperknowle Natural Burial Ground just beyond the southern limits of this great northern city.
It was a beautiful winter's morning with yet more blue sky and sunshine, the air as still as a painting. The view from Apperknowle over the hills of Derbyshire was so spectacular that I wished I had brought my camera along but of course taking photos at funerals is generally frowned upon.
There were around a hundred and fifty people there to say goodbye. His mortal remains lay in a beautiful basket coffin with an equally beautiful arrangement of flowers on top. One of his sisters delivered a simple eulogy with calm dignity and sororal love.
And all of this was out in the open air before his body was taken to its final resting place - a grave that had been dug in the top corner of the burial ground where an orchard is gradually forming around and from the dead.
Along with "Largo" from Dvorak's New World Sympathy, there were three songs . "Annie's Song" by John Denver, "The Circle of Life" by Elton John and one I did not know - "Something to Someone" by Dermot Kennedy. Have you ever thought about which music or song you would like at your funeral?
Farewell Dave. It was good to have known you my friend.
It sounds like a very nice funeral, fitting for the person and unpretentious.
ReplyDeleteI went to funeral a couple of weeks ago where a man I took to be a friend of the bereaved family took photos and video. We all found it acceptable. Maybe you could do a re-think about the camera ?
It just would not fit in with English culture Kylie,
DeleteSounds like it was a good celebration of a decent guy's life. I like the songs they chose for the celebration.
ReplyDeleteFor your service I would pick, "When the RED RED robin comes bobbing along".
DeleteToo funny. I will not be having any celebration.
DeleteDave was a handsome bugger, with a great smile and a twinkle in his eye.
ReplyDeleteAs for parting songs, yes I have chosen mine: "We'll Meet Again" sung by the incomparable Vera Lynn, to make people cry, and "The Lumberjack Song" by the Monty Python crew, to make people laugh.
I thought the Vera Lynn song was "Whale Meat Again" - presumably about eskimo school dinners.
DeleteIt sounds like his music and funeral arrangements were very fitting. We said at my late husband's memorial that he would have had the best time at his own service; we had excellent food, interesting memorabilia of his life, a slide show and LOTS of John Denver (his favorite) including our two daughters singing "On the Wings of a Dream." We also did a sing-a-long to Country Roads. It was at a beautiful golf course with a view of Mt. Rainier; he loved golf. I know for sure that I would want Samuel Barber's Adagio at my memorial.
ReplyDeleteTo hear your daughters singing "On the Wings of a Dream" must have been such a lovely thing to witness. I must investigate Samuel Barber's Adagio right now.
DeleteOh yes. I have of course heard that before. It is beautiful and so very appropriate for a funeral. It seems to speak of both the wonder of human life and the tragedy of its ending.
DeleteI've never heard of that song and don't have a clue what I would like played at my funeral. Dave's funeral sounds lovely and simple.
ReplyDeleteHow about "Old Man River"? For "Man", "Woman" could be inserted.
DeleteFor those who are left behind, a funeral feels good when it fits the person they say good-bye to. As our Dad's funeral and his bird marker in the flock of birds gravesite fitted him perfectly, Dave's fit him.
ReplyDeleteWhile nobody took pictures at the actual event, the next day O.K. and I went back and took pictures of the beautiful wreaths and flower arrangements, and of Dad's bird with the small heart-shaped flower arrangement underneath that the florist made to represent my Mum, my sister and me.
It sounds as if Dave will be sorely missed by many, including the other regulars at the pub.
The hard core of regulars has diminished with the passing years, Not all died, some just drifted away. Good that you took photographs of your dad's resting place the next day.
DeleteMy funeral song: Those Were the Days, My Friend.
ReplyDeleteThe Mary Hopkin version? She is still very much alive at 72 years old.
DeleteA fitting send off it seems.
ReplyDeleteI shall have to think about my funeral plans at some stage I suppose but I keep putting it off.
How about "The Birdie Song"?
DeleteA very fitting farewell to a valued friend. Judging by the numbers attending his funeral, he was a man well liked.
ReplyDeleteHe was a pleasant, straightforward man and a keen supporter of Sheffield United - but I didn't hold that against him.
DeleteI had to attend my Mum's funeral by video link during the COVID years. Quite a few funeral directors are providing a video link service now it seems
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that you had to say goodbye to her like that Tigger.
DeleteI expect Dave was quite a looker when he was young.
ReplyDeleteI've thought a little about my funeral music. I want to make people cry with the aria from La Wally and then make them laugh as they leave the place of service with Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye.
Drunkenly R and I at the gay venue Pokeys leaning on 'Mary's' grand piano we sang 'It's a sin to tell a lie' together when we first met. Kind of our song. How to slip that into a funeral service, let alone a track to indicate Auntie Andrew wasn't always so boring. I am thinking Paris to Berlin.
How to combine all of that?
I don't know 'It's a sin to tell a lie' . I must google it.
DeleteI just listened to it - performed by Vera Lynn. Lovely but I am not sure about the accompanying organ music.
DeleteCondolences on the loss of your friend. As for funeral songs, I have no idea what I'd want played at mine. There's something to think about as I sip my coffee this morning...
ReplyDeleteHow about "Jennifer Juniper" by Donovan?
DeleteParisienne Walkways - Gary Moore would be my funeral send off song.
ReplyDeleteFor me it would be "Farewell, Farewell" by Fairport Convention with Sandy Denny singing.
DeleteFarewell to Dave. It's good you could attend the service. I'm not sure I even want a funeral, but I've considered "Goodnight" by the Beatles.
ReplyDeleteI thought I knew just about every song The Beatles ever recorded but I do not believe that I ever heard that one before.
Delete"Thunder Road" by Bruce Springsteen.
ReplyDeleteDave was a fine-looking man.
I often saw Dave driving around in park vehicles including ride-on lawn mowers. He was gentle and thoughtful and had a distinctive look about him.
DeleteI won't be having a funeral but I hope some cheerful, upbeat songs will be played at a gathering for my friends and family. One song my family knows is a favourite is Led Zeppelin's, 'D'yer Mak'er'. I played it almost daily on my old turntable before heading off for high school 45 years ago. It always pumped me up. It still has that effect on me the rare time it comes over the radio.
ReplyDeleteI can't say I have ever heard that song before but I am listening to it as I type this comment... "Baby please don't go" - a bit too late if you have already gone.
DeleteMy 'gathering' attendees will be singing "Baby, please don't go" while tears stream down their faces. Perfect! You reminded me I've chosen a good one.
DeleteMaybe you will witness the scene from your heavenly vantage point with your halo glowing.
DeleteI don't want a funeral.
ReplyDeleteSorry to say this Ellen but all of us have to die!
DeleteA beautiful tribute. My condolences are offered.
ReplyDeleteAnd gratefully received. He was 66 like my younger brother who died last July.
DeleteA great honor, to an honorable man.
ReplyDeleteI guess he lived a simple and rather unremarkable life but such men and women are the backbone of any country.
DeleteI have waited for what people choose as their final music. But my one song always resonates with the complexities of the natural world I live in. The trouble is I would be dead and couldn't listen to it! But I had it for Paul's service, and it is called 'I'll Find My Way Home' by Jon and Vangelis. Perhaps it is the fragmentation of the photos on the video who knows.
ReplyDeleteAs the congregation enters I would like Barber's Adagio for Strings. As the curtain closes I've asked my beloved to have Don't Stop Me Now (Queen). Haven't yet decided on the exit music. Hey ho. Onwards and upwards (I hope).
ReplyDeleteIt is not obligatory to have a funeral service.
ReplyDeleteI've been to many funerals and the music is so emotional.
Songs I've heard include:
Time to say Goodbye (Sarah Brightman)
Numerous songs by Johnny Cash
My way by Frank Sinatra
Another brick in the wall by Pink Floyd
(my best friend's husband who was a builder)
Various classical music pieces including Wagner for my late husband
Great post.
Thank you
Sue
A lovely Tribute Post to your Friend, my condolences, it's hard to lose those who've been a big part of our lives.
ReplyDelete