30 November 2023

Pornography

Rosette of spear thistle with frost at Windgather Rocks

Let me say straight away that this blogpost has absolutely nothing to do with pornography. Until I came to this keyboard, the title was going to be simply "Cold" but mischievously I thought - no, let's see what happens when I use an instantly more controversial title.

Yeah, so "Cold". It was cold enough yesterday when I  parked up in Kettleshulme and strode out into frosty fields under the clear blue of an anticyclone but this morning it was much colder. Nearby pavements and road surfaces were white with hoar frost and our car windscreens (American: windshields) were iced up. Poor Clint was shivering like an arctic monkey. The grass in our back garden (American: yard) looked as if it had had tubs of icing sugar sprinkled liberally upon it.

This is the first proper frost we have had since last winter so we can have little cause for complaint. Besides, it is possible to enjoy sharp, frosty weather. It can be invigorating. However, for those who struggle financially,  minus centigrade temperatures always stir up these fundamental  questions: "Should I put my heating on?" and "Can I afford to heat my home?"

Shirley and I both grew up in cold houses without central heating or double glazing. Wintry mornings were about leaping out of bed and  getting your day clothes on as soon as possible. I remember lying in bed listening to my father raking out and preparing our coal fire in the room below. If I timed it right, the fire would be emitting warmth when I got downstairs.

My children's generation were to a large extent sheltered from the cold with double glazing, improved insulation and draught-proofing as well as domestic gas boilers pumping hot water through heating pipes. But in the last few years fuel prices have increased dramatically and now there are of course big issues with supplies of gas and electricity. We can't take it all for granted any more.

When it's cold, wise people wear warmer clothing in their homes in wintertime. Woolly jumpers come out and shorts are put away for the springtime. By wearing warmer clothes you can reduce the amount of time you need to have your heating on.

For my seventieth birthday or was it last Christmas - I can't remember, my son Ian gave me a gift that I was not at all sure about. Was it really me? It seemed unlikely. It was a gilet by Barbour - in fact a Langdale gilet costing £80. 

A month ago, I thought that I would give it a try and ever since I have not looked back. I am wearing it now as I type these words and I have worn it around the house  all day. In fact, I have been converted to the gilet cult. It seems an eminently sensible item of apparel to don in the cool of autumn or the cold of winter. Here I am below in my Barbour Langdale gilet looking devilishly handsome - rather like a porn star on his day off...

36 comments:

  1. Sad that some people can't afford enough for fuel to heat the house all the time. But as you say some clothing makes a big difference in keeping warm. I use layers to keep warm.

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    1. In rich countries no one should have to suffer from the cold in their own homes.

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  2. I usually keep the heat low, especially since menopause. My poor daughter shivers when she visits, which I find quite funny, because I find Vancouver so damp and cold. We've been having very mild weather and no snow which is very unusual for this time of year. I'm not complaining though.

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    1. "The longer the mild weather the later the time arrives for ramping up the heating" - Leonard Cohen

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  3. I'm a big fan of the gilet, I get body warmth without the restriction of sleeves. Currently my gilet, (which is nowhere near as nice as the one pictured ) has a busted zipper, the bit that goes up and down got lost in the washing machine, so I need to get that repaired and buy another one or two ready for next winter here. I haven't seen any frost in decades.

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    1. Australia's big cities are not known for frosty weather. As summer takes hold, I guess you roam around your home in your leopard print bikini.

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    2. Leopard print belongs on leopards. Denim shorts and a t shirt.

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  4. I swear by long-sleeved thermal vests. My wife buys them for me (it's what wives do!).

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  5. You sure look handsome in that gilet, Neil! Shirley will be unable to keep her hands off you.
    The 1930s terraced house my family lived in from 1974 to 1988 had no real central heating, either. For hot showers, we needed to fire up the water boiler in the bathroom; it was a real wood and coal burning fire, giving off a wonderful warmth but creating a lot of work (fetching wood and coal from the cellar, cleaning out the ash tray and generally cleaning the entire bathroom after that).
    The other rooms had tiled stoves with adjustable flaps a bit like blinds; you opened them to let warm air into the room and closed them when you didn't need the heating. It was a heating system based on oil, and changed by law to gas in the early 1980s.
    To this day, I perceive it as utter but daily luxury to have hot showers whenever I like, and keep my flat warm and cosy with well insulated windows and central heating.

    By the way, it has been snowing here all morning - nice to look out from my windows, and glad to be working from home today.

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    1. Shirley has been insatiable since I first donned my stylish gilet. Perhaps you should buy OK one for Christmas.

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  6. That gilet has un-aged you by decades. I must get myself one.
    People say they get colder in Sydney than in much colder parts of the world and thats because we tend not to dress for the cold, try not to pay for heating, don't wear proper shoes and just generally try to act like winter doesn't exist. It's all very silly

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    1. With my stylish gilet, I feel much more snug around the house when it is cold.

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  7. Let us know how many views you get, a few years ago I used the title ' the C word', meaning Christmas, and got thousands of views.

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    1. Ha-ha - you immediately understood where I was coming from with this Poppy.

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  8. Growing up, we had a single wood stove in a two story rambling farm house with seven bedrooms. Winter meant sleeping under a pile of blankets and like you said, racing to stand next to the stove in the morning to get warmed through. I suppose it is why to this day, I still love laying under a lot of blankets and why my kids are always asking why we keep it so cool in our house in the wintertime.

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    1. I thought that kids liked to have cool parents!

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  9. I am so sorry to hear you can't afford to adjust your heating to an appropriate comfortable temperature without having to wear an indoor coat.

    R grew up in a cold house and is rather fond of full home heating now.

    Me, I melted grooves into the rubber soles of my slippers by sitting in front of the stove and resting my feet on the oven trays.

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    1. Yes. We cannot afford to have the heating on throughout the winter and I am a feeble, vulnerable pensioner. Please give generously to "The Keep YP Warm" appeal fund.

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  10. But it's my arms that get cold. Is there anywhere you can buy the arms that they don't use to make the garments?

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    1. Have you considered a double amputation?

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  11. It takes 30 years off of you.

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    1. You too can own a rejuvenating gilet David. Send $150 to Yorkshire Pudding Enterprises and remember to state your size.

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  12. I enjoyed your post highlighting the differences in American and British English. I figured out that "gilet" meant vest, but I looked it up anyway. It has been cold her as well, with the coldest temps of the year. It was 21 degrees Fahrenheit yesterday morning, and that is unusual for central Virginia.

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    1. I like to play the American English game. Maybe for one post I will over-egg the idea just for fun.

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  13. Do you keep a mirror up in the attic like Dorian Gray? Or was it the London trip that unaged you. It definitely is missing keeping one's arm warm though.

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    1. Around the house, it's the trunk one needs to keep warm Thelma. Oh and I discovered the secret of eternal youth long ago... it's Oil of Ulay.

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  14. Well, you did use the word "hoar," which I suppose is somewhat pornographic. LOL

    I've never heard of a gilet. That's a new word for me. I'd call it a vest, but I know vests are something else in England.

    Apropos of nothing in this post, have you seen this article? It made me think of you.
    https://www.theguardian.com/science/2023/dec/01/singing-to-babies-is-vital-to-help-them-understand-language-say-scientists

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    1. Thanks for that link Steve. The article confirms my instincts about the importance of singing to babies.

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  15. You can't fool me. That's not you in that picture. You don't have a beard.

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  16. I had to look up the word "gilet". I think we just call that a vest. But whatever you call it, it's a lovely and very practical garment. Mr. Moon has one that he loves. And yes, he looks quite handsome in it.

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    1. For the British, a "vest" is an undergarment. "Gilet" is I think a French word.

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  17. That's an attractive vest, Neil, and I'm glad it keeps you warm.
    My son has caught Covid from me so I am rallying so I can take care of him. It's been like a bad cold with cough so I hope we will both be all better soon.

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  18. I do hope that in the rush of excitement wearing your new gilet, you've remembered to put your vest on too!

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  19. You are one handsome man! I didn't know what a Gilet was until I looked it up. I would say your son loves you a lot for what the gilet costs.

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Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.

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