In the village of my happy childhood - seventy miles from this keyboard in the heart of The East Riding of Yorkshire - there used to be a disused Methodist chapel. It was called Temperance Hall. More than once I entered its dusty rooms with village chums and stood upon the disused stage when preachers once sermonised.
As a boy, I never realised the significance of the term "temperance" but it was very much to do with abstaining from the consumption of alcoholic drinks - something that was closely connected with Methodism. Of course, the opposite of temperance is "intemperance" and usually someone who is judged to be intemperate will be a boozer, straying from the path of righteousness.
Before writing this, I had a look back at three connected blogposts I created in January 2023 - all titled "Alcohol". You can read them here, here and here. My reflections seemed quite comprehensive and there is not much I would wish to add to all of that.
Today I am thinking about temperance or abstention, focusing on three men who are very dear to me - my older brother Robin who lives in France, my son Ian who lives in London and my best friend Tony who lives in Beverley, East Yorkshire.
In the past, all three of these jolly fellows enjoyed a regular tipple and with each of them I have enjoyed good times with drink from our bellies rising to our heads. Don't get me wrong - not staggering around but conversing or joking, nicely oiled. Happy and relaxed under the influence.
The last time I spoke to my only remaining brother over the phone, he told me that he has not drunk any alcohol since Christmas. In the past, he and his girlfriend Suzie would always have a glass or two of wine with their evening meals and if Robin had been out working or biking, there was nothing he liked better than a couple of cans of beer from the fridge to quench his evening thirst. But now - zilch! Nothing!
Last weekend, my son Ian told me has also not had any alcohol this year. It is a habit he has fallen out of and now as a runner, vegan spokesman and regular gym visitor, he is very conscious of his all-round health. Alcohol does not seem to fit in to that equation. In the past, he would occasionally binge drink and not just beer or wine but strong spirits as well. It really does appear that those days are over.
My friend Tony has not had any alcoholic beverages for over seven years now. Something scared him in the past as he reached a point where he realised that he was plunging into full-blown alcoholism. He stopped imbibing drink and even joined a support group in which he could help others to battle their demons. I can't see him ever going back to beer or wine. Stuff happened that he could not even remember.
And so we arrive at me - your genial host. I must confess that I still love beer and different wines too but my intake is greatly reduced from say twenty years ago. There are many days and nights when not a drop of alcohol passes my lips and a boozy night for me is now just four pints of "Stones" bitter at the Sunday pub quiz. I do not feel motivated to join the temperance movement like Robin, Ian and Tony and maybe I never will. As cool folk sometimes say, "I got this".
How about you?
I enjoy a drink, beer, wine, sprits, every now and again, but it is not an every day, nor even sometimes an every week, thing.
ReplyDeleteI drink less not because I think there's a problem but because even one drink makes me tired the next day and I don't enjoy that.
I had my years of partying and tippling andover drinking, but never to the point of questioning, and those days are over.
It seems a lot of people are clambering off The Booze Train.
DeleteAlcohol is one of those things that can bring so much enjoyment ro life, meals, social occasions, celebrations, but is also so very destructive of the luves of those who seek to escape and seek its embrace and oblivion. Neuro-diverse people are over represnted among those 'self-medicating' with alcohol. Perhaps our society is failing them and people like your son and friend are great role models and mentors for those who need to find a less destructive way to live.
ReplyDeleteYou make some good points here TM.
DeleteI seldom drink but when I have a drink with friends, or my daughter, I relax and enjoy it. Sadly I have a long history of alcoholics in my life and men who drink scare me, because of past experiences, and what they may do. I also almost always stop at one drink because more than one drink will give me a hangover and I hate hangovers with a passion. I'm a cheap date.
ReplyDeleteHere - have another sparkling water Pixie!
DeleteI've had ups and down with alcohol over the years, having my first drink at age twelve. I reached a point in my 30s when I worried I was drinking too often so I went cold turkey and abstained for twelve years. Why I went back to drinking is a story for another time. I decided at the beginning of this year that maybe it was time to quit again since studies seem to show even one drink a day increases cancer risks. Then, I began a new medication in January that doesn't recommend mixing with alcohol, cannabis, or ibuprofen, so that's that. I really haven't missed it, though I occasionally think how nice it would be to have a beer while cooking supper (my favorite time to imbibe). For the record, four pints at this point in life wouldn't be a pretty sight.
ReplyDeleteI was an average social drinker in university but once I graduated and entered the legal profession, I really curtailed my consumption. I was shocked at how much lawyers drank. It's a stressful profession and booze is often chosen as a coping mechanism. Once I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in my early 30s, I more or less quit drinking any alcohol since it all turns to sugar in the bloodstream. It was an easy thing for me to cut out doing. Now if I have one or two drinks per year, that's a boozy year for me. Often my only drink is a glass of eggnog and rum at Christmas, which is odd because I don't particularly like either eggnog or rum, LOL.
ReplyDeleteI have not had a beer for maybe 10 years. I have seizures and medications that prevent me from consuming. Consumption of alcohol is much different today than when I was young. Both good and bad.
ReplyDeleteAlcohol can definitely be a comfort, even if it is also a false friend.
ReplyDeleteI have had bouts of abstention, including a few which have lasted somewhere between 6 months and a year. I'm probably due for another soon because I find that without a conscious effort my consumption gradually creeps up.
For me the hardest points are cooking and eating. If I have wine to cook with I find it hard to restrain its use to that, especially as cheap wine for cooking generally comes in a large quantity. Verjuice-like substitutes for wine, and non-alcoholic wine, are ridiculously expensive. These are all excuses, I know. As for eating, I don't like a sweet drink so the only options are water (a bit boring) or a low (<.5%) alcohol beer. Low alcohol beer is still difficult to obtain and of variable quality in Australia and I also resent that the price point for it is set by reference to alcoholic beer (which in Australia attracts a hefty excise) which strikes me as a price-point ripoff. (Some also like to align themselves with more expensive "craft" beers.)
I also resent that beer sellers like to engage in any amount of ridiculous advertising to attract market share and of course you end up paying for that too. Why can't we just have some generic and reliable products without all that rubbish? (I know: market share gives you retail exposure on the liquor shop shelves.) I yearn for a socialist system. Bottom shelf, low alcohol beer from the nth state brewery. In my dreams.
I don't especially worry about alcohol and cancer etc. There are so many other risks and I've exposed myself to plenty already. Pathetically, I guess the position would change after the event if I had a diagnosis. Talk about shutting the gate...
The main ill-effect of alcohol so far as I'm concerned is the fattening one. When I've gone on the wagon I've generally found that I shed the pounds/kilograms at a gratifying rate without any other adjustments. But I have always ended up relapsing.
Four pints in one session sounds rather a lot to me, but then you are a big bloke and it only happens about once a week.
Many people find it easier to go right off alcohol than to limit their consumption and I'm pretty sure I am such a person. I expect in the foreseeable future I shall only be intermittently abstemious. I'm not going to join a temperance movement if by that you mean persuading or forcing others to give it up, though it doesn't seem that is Ian or your friends' position.
I suppose I drink more than I should, but it is a good bit less than when I was younger.
ReplyDeleteWhat about drinking for company? To me it's blogging with your lips. Two Irish pubs a week close their doors for ever. Pubs are the hubs of any community. Not that I can afford to drink in them any more. It's not all about the alcohol. It's about the company and camaraderie.
ReplyDeleteMy blog started because of alcohol. Having watched the demise of my husband from alcohol, I cannot extol its virtues. Even before then I wasn't much of a drinker. Nowadays I might have the occasional glass of wine once every two months if eating out with friends but I can't say i enjoy it and it seems to keep me awake at night, when I do.
ReplyDeleteI have seen what alcohol does too many times with people near and dear to me, including my late husband. While for decades it was said that a moderate measure of red wine is even good for health, now the general agreement is that there is no such thing as a healthy dose of alcohol.
ReplyDeleteMy personal rule is to never drink alone. I always have a bottle of sparkling wine in the fridge and many more in the cellar, as well as a selection of reds, some beer (not for me), gin, vodka, rum and other stuff needed to make cocktails. Most of this has been sitting around for years, because most of my drinking happens on weekends at O.K.‘s or when I‘m at my Mum‘s for a meal. For thirst, there is nothing better than plain water, and in the mornings, a mug of coffee is part of the getting ready for the day ritual.
I control my intake very carefully and although I have sometimes reached the point of being tipsy, but never to the point of not being able to walk properly or remember what happened. I like to be in control of myself, and want to keep a reasonable level of health as I am getting older.
I do enjoy a G&T sometimes and will drink a large glass of French fizz with my evening meal most days.
ReplyDeleteWe do what makes us feel good at our age I suppose.
In spite of the comments about my sangria consumption in the previous blog, I don't drink alcohol/wines/spirits at all - and haven't for most of my life. The most I've ever imbibed was the very occasional glass of wine and it's quite a few years since I had one. My favourite tipple is freshly squeezed orange juice or any other fruit juice, but I mostly drink still water - plus two cups of coffee each day.
ReplyDeleteTemperance indeed. Not least in the comment boxes. A doctor friend of mine once told me, it's now common knowledge, that when they ask a patient as to their alcohol consumption they always double [if not triple] what the patient says. HA!
ReplyDeleteTalking of doctors: Many years ago I took a cat to a vet. He was a locum. Nice guy. However, despite my trusting nature, I tend to follow my gut feeling. He wasn't drunk; he clearly was a half-way functioning heavy drinker. So declined him operating on the cat and left. He understood that I intuitively knew. He gave me the saddest smile. Heartbreaking. Apropos of nothing, don't know if it's still true: Vets and investigative journalists rank highest among those who commit suicide.
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Four pints? To me even that seems too much. I don't drink alcohol in spite of my "pina colada" quip at the quiz night. I did have one of those years ago and liked it but didn't drink the whole glass. I also clearly remember arriving at work one morning and seeing one of the younger new workers staggering in through the gates, he was hungover and quite proud of the fact that he must have had a great weekend, but couldn't remember a bit of it. He was only just 16-17 and got fired soon after.
ReplyDelete