Ring-ring, ring-ring...
"Hello. Wimbledon Ticket Office. How can we help you?"
"Oh hello there. My name is David Beckham*. I would like to speak to your manager."
"Of course. Just a moment Mr Beckham."
"Hello. Deborah Snodgrass here. I am the ticket office manager . How can we help you Mr Beckham?"
"Well, I would like to see the men's final this year and I was wondering if you had any complimentary tickets left in the royal box for VIPs?"
"Oh, for you Mr Beckham. I am sure we can sort something out. How many tickets do you need?"
"Just two Deborah. For me and my oldest son - Brooklyn."
"No problem Mr Beckham. I will leave two tickets for you at reception. You need to pick them up by three o'clock."
"Thank you for your help Deborah."
"Bye-bye."
Ring-ring, ring-ring...
"Hello. Wimbledon Ticket Office. How can we help you?"
"Oh hello. I am just phoning on the off chance that you might have some spare tickets for tomorrow's men's final?"
"Excuse me. Who are you?"
"My name is Grace Honey. I have been a tennis fan all my life but I have never been to Wimbledon."
"Are you a celebrity?"
"No but I am well-known here in Bridlington. I have coached children's tennis for the past thirty years, rain and shine."
"Oh. So you are not a celebrity?"
"No. Not really."
"I am afraid we can't help you then. Bye!"
Ring-ring, ring-ring...
"Hello. Wimbledon Ticket Office. How can we help you?"
"I would love to get a ticket for the men's final tomorrow but I am afraid I don't have any money."
"You must be kidding me! If you are not a bona fide celebrity then there's no way we can give you a complimentary ticket."
"But I am dying of lung disease."
"No way!"
"I am a paraplegic!"
"Nope!"
"I once saw Roger Federer in a Subway sandwich shop."
"Just a minute. I will have to talk to my manager."
_____________________________________________________________
the name of any other well-known celebrity.
LOL! YP, you are such a cynic!
ReplyDeleteNicely summed up Bruce Lee.
DeletePerks of fame???
ReplyDeleteTax-free sweeteners.
DeleteI'm sure this is exactly the way it works. Were you trying for tickets or why are we talking about it?
ReplyDeleteJust because Wimbledon finishes today Deb. I have never been to Wimbledon.
DeleteIf such a thing actually happens that is quite shameful on their part.
ReplyDeleteIt does happen. Probably at The Australian Open too.
Deletewell tennis is rubbish anyways.....
ReplyDeleteYou would look cool dressed as Bjorn Borg with an elasticated headband.
DeleteThe class system outlined with a touch of wit. I don't like watching people kick or hit balls endlessly it is so b****y boring! It is a bit like trains isn't it - first class and second class but the second class can always enter a lottery for the ticket to the first train carriage.
ReplyDeleteRich people with free tickets just does not seem right but hey, that is the way of things.
DeleteI wouldn't go if it was free.
ReplyDeleteYou could be a ballboy Dave.
DeleteBut, but, but, you are a famous blogging celebrity!
ReplyDeleteThey said they had never heard of me. I guess I am just a nobody.
DeleteSad but true. My mum was born in Wimbledom, would that count?
ReplyDeleteOnly if she was born on Centre Court.
DeleteAh, the perks of fame.
ReplyDeleteUnavailable to the most famous blogger in Lloyd FL.
Delete