Last week I was imprisoned by Mrs Pudding. She insisted that I practised my decorating skills upon our front room - the lounge. Good grief! It was last decorated as recently as 2003. You could still smell the drying paint. Many hours later, the picture rail and skirting boards are satin white, the ceiling is baby white and the walls are ivory. Naturally, I made good use of my favourite DIY product - decorator's caulk - to fill in those irritating little cracks and holes - in my quest to produce a professional finish. Mrs Pudding was not disappointed and as a reward, allowed me to visit the local pub for half a pint of Tetley's bitter and a salted peanut.
But this was not meant to be the reason for this blogpost. Ten days ago, before the decorating sentence, I had one of my rambles in Sheffield's Golden Frame - around the previously grim mining village of Treeton and here are three pictures I snapped for your edification...
Top - St Helen's Church, Treeton - listed in the Domesday Book of 1086
Middle - "Cattails" on the banks of Treeton Dyke
Bottom - Grey horse under electricity pylon
That's what I like to hear...a man who knows the wisdom of pandering to his woman's needs and putting in the effort to ensure that she is satisfied with the results.
ReplyDeleteThis village certainly doesn't look grim now.Beautiful pictures of beautiful places; I hope that horse knows the 30-30 rule, just in case lightning strikes... x
Decorating? Hmm, I should think so too. After all, just because tha's retired, there's no call to be laiking around, lad! Keep theself busy and out of trouble, tha knows. (Or something like that...)
ReplyDeletePS If I spoke nicely to Mrs P. do you think she would send you over here to do ours too?
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you got a 1/2 pint and a salted peanut! Is it possible you had two salted peanuts?
ReplyDeleteELIZABETH Your first paragraph seemed slightly salacious though double-entendres are arguably the bread and butter of English comedy.
ReplyDeleteJENNYTA If I do come to do your decorating I will also be helping you to improve your Yorkshire dialect. Having seen photos of your lounge, I suggest a couple of coats of Artex for the ceiling - nicely swirled and then painted mauve. The walls will be in a tasteful puce with chocolate brown skirting boards. Trust me. It will look great. Mrs P will be happy to loan me out for a week.
SAINT ALKELDA Thanks for dropping by old girl. You got me. I also managed a handful of salt and vinegar crisps (chips to our American cousins) but then Mrs P rang the pub and instructed the landlady to send me home. It was the best night out I have had in years.
The lounge sounds very tasteful. Here we have 'merino white' and 'tussock cream' and 'plateau beige'. all NZ landscape words...But please tell me what colour is 'baby white'? pinkish with a touch of nappy rash?
ReplyDeletePlease explain the theme, if there is one, of your three photographs. I am at a loss (but you knew that already)....
ReplyDeleteConfessions of a retired English teacher and part-time decorator.
ReplyDeleteIt's about time the 70s classics from that 'wonderful' period of British cinema got a remake for the 21st century.
To give it a modern angle our protagonist, we'll call him Nelly Lee, surfs the internet looking for lonely housewives that he lures into his bizarre world of photography, DIY and poetry- he's like a practical, creative, sensitive type...
He then visits these women (and men let's make it really modern) and offers his services in caulking, saving wild animals, penning sonnets and photographing bird boxes in the spring sunshine.
All the while with other more unhealthy intentions on his mind...
I imagine Nigel Havers in the role after a few roast beef and yorky pudding dinners.
Of course Nige is playing the part already in the much superior to Eastenders, Coronation Street as we speak so it shouldn't be too much of a stretch.
What do you think?
KATHERINE Ha! No baby white is simply a kind of light creamy colour. It would be easier if they called it milk. The language of colours is fascinating especially where there are paint companies eager to make a profit.
ReplyDeleteRHYMES The theme was simply the mining village of Treeton and the country walk I took there recently. No other linkage.
BOOTH RADLEY Wow! You're giving me ideas. First I visit Jenny in Wrexham before moving on to Elizabeth in Scarborough and Katherine in the Bay of Plenty. I'll have more notches on my decorator's belt than Nick Clegg! A great idea...PS I hope you are complying with Foreign Office guidance for travellers to Thailand and staying securely indoors with a loaded rifle in case the red shirts burst in!
If you were in Scarborough, you wouldn't find me...must be another Elizabeth you've had associations with!! x
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