A self-employed electrician used to be a regular in our local pub - especially early doors. I wouldn't say he was a friend - just an acquaintance. He was about fifty years old. One evening, in the middle of the bar-room banter, the topic of conversation switched to marriage and women.
The electrician piped up with this remark about marriage: "The shagging's all right. It's all the other stuff I don't like ."
Momentarily my jaw dropped. What did he mean by "the other stuff"? Conversation, sharing household tasks, child-minding, eating meals together, gardening, making decisions about decorating, sharing thoughts, looking to the future, laughing together, holidays. Did none of that daily "stuff'" matter?
For people who are unfamiliar with the term, "shagging" is a slang term for sexual intercourse.
Anyway, about twelve years ago this fellow's visits to the pub ceased very suddenly. I asked around and discovered that he had had an accident at work. He had fallen off a ladder and broken his back.
The last time I saw him was about ten years back. He was in a wheelchair and had been pushed into "The Cherry Tree" by his long-suffering wife. He told me that he was paralysed from the waist down. Of course his wife had become his principal carer. No doubt she bathed him, helped him to the toilet, dressed him and ferried him here and there. I wondered if he remembered his horrible remark about marriage. Did he now appreciate all "the other stuff"?
In an ironic manner of speaking, it seemed like poetic justice. That fellow has never been back in our local pub since the accident happened.
How charming. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteHis poor wife.
By the way, their is a kind of dancing that originated at Myrtle Beach, SC called "Shagging". I'll bet plenty of English visitors over the years were shocked to hear that there would be "Shagging" happening on the dance floor! And lots of bars and clubs have "Shagging" contests! Lol!
*there* not *their*. Oops!
DeleteHA-HA-HA! Myrtle Beach could pull in thousands of British visitors with a strapline like "Shagging centre of the planet!"
DeleteHa but did Myrtle appreciate the shagging?
DeleteSilly billy! Myrtle Beach is a seaside town. Beach is not Myrtle's surname!
Deletei wonder if it feels like justice to her?
ReplyDeleteShe has also got a life sentence hasn't she?
DeleteUnintelligent, unenlightened, deplorable, despicable men can be such pigs!
ReplyDeleteEven Italians Mama Bear?
DeleteHappily not all men think like that. Nor women, for that matter.
ReplyDeleteIt would be interesting to know if he has had a change of heart ... better late than never. Did you get a sense of how he treats his wife now? Ahhhh, karma.
As I say, he wasn't a true friend but the expression on his face said everything. He's stuck and he needs her care to survive.
DeleteWhat a crass remark...a pure sign of ignorance on the fellow's part.
ReplyDeleteAnd people wonder why I like my reclusive existence...people like him are one of the reasons!
I'll say no more...
"Crass" sums it up nicely.
DeleteA woman is a female human and may also refer to a person's gender identity.. The term woman is usually reserved for an adult, with the term girl being the usual ...
ReplyDeleteตารางคะแนนบุนเดสลีกา
Looks like you have a similar visitor to my "concept" lover!
DeleteI don't understand his remark. Just can't grasp the "concept".
DeleteThis is a sad situation all the way around.
ReplyDeleteWhen he was sounding off in that boorish manner in the pub, he never imagined a broken back, loss of income and everything else.
DeleteWhen I come across people like that, I wonder how they ever managed to find a spouse in the first place. Didn't his wife get an idea of his character and attitude before she married him? Or was he such a good actor at pretending he enjoyed "all the other stuff" when all he really wanted was having regular access to shagging? He could have had that without "all the other stuff". It's for sale in some places.
ReplyDeletePerhaps he wrongly thought that it was somehow manly to denigrate women in that manner. It may have just been his idea of a "show" of masculinity.
DeleteDenigrating women seems to be a way for some men to deceive themselves into thinking they are the superior sex. In reality, it just shows their inadequacies.I feel very sorry for his wife.
ReplyDeleteI guess his wife has become his maid and is tied to that wheelchair almost as much as he is. Poor woman.
DeleteDid he fall or was he pushed?
ReplyDeleteHaha! Great question Sue!
DeleteBrilliant
DeletePerhaps God did it.
DeleteHow horrible! He probably meant his remark as a mean-spirited joke, don't you think? Still, yeah, hopefully the way things turned out has made him think again.
ReplyDeleteHe wasn't a jester Steve. My instinct was that he pretty much meant it.
DeleteOne word ..... KARMA. I imagine he had a severe case of little man syndrome, having to make himself appear bigger by belittling someone else. The poor wife.
ReplyDeleteYes Karma... in fact falling off that ladder was Instant Karma.
DeletePerhaps God did it.
ReplyDeleteหีฟิต