Over the years, many inventions have come to fruition - making everyday life smoother than before. From the microwave to the trrouser press and from the electric toothbrush to the steam iron - modern inventions enhance our lives.
Now I am not an inventor myself but drawn from personal experience, I have some ideas that inventors could work upon. I invite any inventors out there to pick up one or more of my suggestions and run with them to their garden huts and attics. It would be gratifying to see my little pipe dreams turned into practical realities.
1. Silent Vacuum Cleaner All my life I have been plagued by noisy vacuum cleaners. Usually, they are operated by cackling women with evil glints in their eyes - as if getting off on the misery that their jet engine din causes. "Lift your feet!" my mother would call as she entered the living room with her booming old Hoover. And nowadays my blood pressure rises immediately whenever Shirley plugs in our black Hitachi 1700 model. Peace is devastated. It was the same in the last school where I worked. I always continued working for two or three hours after the children had gone but it wasn't long before the cleaner - Gwen or Elaine entered my quiet room with their cacophonous industrial machine.
2. Shirt Tucking In Device Maybe it's to do with the shape of my body or the length of my shirts but no matter how hard I try to keep my shirts tucked into my trousers, they are always coming out. I try buckling my belt so tight that I cannot slide my palms into my trouser waist but still the shirt will manage to escape as I stand and sit and walk about or bend. How wonderful it would be to dress and feel confident that my shirt would remain neatly tucked in.
3. Hot Drink Cooler There is nothing worse than being in a rush and having to gulp down a piping hot mug of tea or coffee. Perhaps someone could invent an easy-to-use electrical device to pop into the hot drink and halve its temperature immediately. Alternatively, maybe someone could create instant cooling tablets that you drop in the drink and hey presto - the temperature drops.
4. Scammer Electrocution Device In recent years I have found my life being invaded by uncaring scammers seeking to defraud me. They appear in my e-mail inbox and they bother me by calling up on our house phone. Could someone please invent an electrocution button for telephones and another for computer keyboards? My idea is that if one received a scam call or e-mail one could press the button and send an immediate bolt of electricity to the perpetrator's device. Not enough to kill them but perhaps enough to send them to hospital.
5. Flyhole Zip Alarm I must confess that very occasionally I will forget to pull up my flyhole zip. This can be embarrassing at funerals or job interviews and besides when one's flyhole is down flies can easily access one's southern regions. How helpful it would be if there was a discreet vibrating buzzer in my trousers to alert me to zip neglect and avoid arrest or unsavoury accusation. I know that there are many other gentlemen who would appreciate such a personal security product.
Have you got any ideas of your own for helpful new inventions?