Over the years, many inventions have come to fruition - making everyday life smoother than before. From the microwave to the trrouser press and from the electric toothbrush to the steam iron - modern inventions enhance our lives.
Now I am not an inventor myself but drawn from personal experience, I have some ideas that inventors could work upon. I invite any inventors out there to pick up one or more of my suggestions and run with them to their garden huts and attics. It would be gratifying to see my little pipe dreams turned into practical realities.
1. Silent Vacuum Cleaner All my life I have been plagued by noisy vacuum cleaners. Usually, they are operated by cackling women with evil glints in their eyes - as if getting off on the misery that their jet engine din causes. "Lift your feet!" my mother would call as she entered the living room with her booming old Hoover. And nowadays my blood pressure rises immediately whenever Shirley plugs in our black Hitachi 1700 model. Peace is devastated. It was the same in the last school where I worked. I always continued working for two or three hours after the children had gone but it wasn't long before the cleaner - Gwen or Elaine entered my quiet room with their cacophonous industrial machine.
2. Shirt Tucking In Device Maybe it's to do with the shape of my body or the length of my shirts but no matter how hard I try to keep my shirts tucked into my trousers, they are always coming out. I try buckling my belt so tight that I cannot slide my palms into my trouser waist but still the shirt will manage to escape as I stand and sit and walk about or bend. How wonderful it would be to dress and feel confident that my shirt would remain neatly tucked in.
3. Hot Drink Cooler There is nothing worse than being in a rush and having to gulp down a piping hot mug of tea or coffee. Perhaps someone could invent an easy-to-use electrical device to pop into the hot drink and halve its temperature immediately. Alternatively, maybe someone could create instant cooling tablets that you drop in the drink and hey presto - the temperature drops.
4. Scammer Electrocution Device In recent years I have found my life being invaded by uncaring scammers seeking to defraud me. They appear in my e-mail inbox and they bother me by calling up on our house phone. Could someone please invent an electrocution button for telephones and another for computer keyboards? My idea is that if one received a scam call or e-mail one could press the button and send an immediate bolt of electricity to the perpetrator's device. Not enough to kill them but perhaps enough to send them to hospital.
5. Flyhole Zip Alarm I must confess that very occasionally I will forget to pull up my flyhole zip. This can be embarrassing at funerals or job interviews and besides when one's flyhole is down flies can easily access one's southern regions. How helpful it would be if there was a discreet vibrating buzzer in my trousers to alert me to zip neglect and avoid arrest or unsavoury accusation. I know that there are many other gentlemen who would appreciate such a personal security product.
Have you got any ideas of your own for helpful new inventions?
I bet you have a long back, thats why shirts untuck. Maybe tuck it in your underwear?
ReplyDeleteThe drink cooling pill has been invented, they gave it the name "ice"
Yes, i am very sure you would appreciate a vibrating device in your flyhole region!
Who invented "ice"? I have never heard of it. Thanks for your response Kylie but I still wonder what new invention you would suggest?
Deleteoh, um, I'm not creative at that stuff. I'd like a dishwasher which has already been invented ....and calorie free cake
DeleteKylie beat me to the ice cube solution for hot drinks, but also your shirt tucking issue has already been solved. For women. It's called a bodysuit and it has an elongated front and back that snaps together. Or does that not sound manly enough for a Yorkshire guy?
ReplyDeleteI'm up for the scammer-electrocution device. We've been getting calls at all hours, including four o'clock in the morning, and I can't leave it unanswered in case it's my elderly mother.
I would like a Pain Detection Device which would allow other people to see a person's pain levels. Pain is so invisible and often overlooked or forgotten by everyone but the person experiencing it. It would be helpful if other people could be always aware of what those with pain are enduring.
I like the idea in your final paragraph - even though it is not funny!
DeleteI agree with Jenny o about the pain detection device. Mostly so that I could determine whether or not the pain I experience is as bad as I sometimes think it is. Am I just a wimp?
ReplyDeleteOkay. Here's an invention I'd like to see- the DIAL! I'm sick and tired of having to hit some stupid pretend buttons sixty times to change the time on a clock or the temperature on the oven. Oh? What? You say they already invented that? BRING IT BACK, PLEASE!
I would like one of those as well!
DeleteI want an implant on my body of a little device that will pop out - much like on a turkey when it signals it is done - that tells you "this is a pain that needs attention" and rules out the ones that mean nothing.
ReplyDeleteAnd I would like a phone device for those electronic calls that you can push and it will disable the system that sends those calls!
Pain seems to be a theme today. I would also appreciate one of those phone devices.
DeleteLike Jenny, I was going to tell you about the body suit. It is a very practical piece of clothing and very useful in cold weather, as one does not Risk to expose one's midriff (and kidneys) to the elements.
ReplyDeleteThe hot drinks you describe is not a problem when, like me, you have an asbestos mouth (according to my late husband, who could never get over how piping hot I wanted my hot drinks and meals).
Silent vaccuum cleaners have, according to some companies, been invented already, but I have yet to see (or, rather, hear) one.
An invention I would like to see is medication for pets that the pets actually LIKE, where the pet owner does not risk life and limb every time they need to give their beloved cat or dog a pill.
A thoughtful suggestion in the last paragraph. You could give that medication to all the imaginary pets you keep in your designer apartment!
DeleteBe careful for what you wish. If you were deaf you wouldn't hear the vacuum cleaner. I've never had problems with shirts so can't help you there. I like my drinks very hot and I've solved the problem of them getting cold so quickly with an insulated mug. I'm sure that the ice suggestion would work but why you would want cold tea of coffee i cannot understand. The phone scammer solution is called a call monitoring phone. I have no scam calls on my landline. The cellphone is quite another matter. Scam emails can just be ignored if they get through the mail server. Now the fly zip alarm would be REALLY helpful. I'd invest in that.
ReplyDeleteAs for an idea for something to be invented I cannot help. The last idea I had gave me a headache and I've avoided having an idea ever since.
Ice in a hot drink would dilute the taste . I am not seeking to make tea or coffee cold - just cooler - and then only when I am in a rush!
DeleteYou can get plastic 'ice' which would not dilute the drink and could be taken out when the drink was as cool as you wanted it to be.
DeleteI don't wish to mess about. I need the cooling to happen instantly.
DeleteAn automatic dog walker (for cold weather).
ReplyDeleteI think that's called a conveyor belt or a running machine.
DeleteUrine drip alarm?
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, I understand where you are coming from.
DeleteMy cats would love a silent hoover, they all hate the noise. Myself I would like a large reverse fan type hoover, I can then stand at the door of each room and it would suck all of the cat hair from the room. I can see it in my minds eye but as Tom says, my mind doesn't work like other people's so it probably wouldn't be possible. lol
ReplyDeleteWe all have to have our dreams Briony!
DeleteNow that flyhole zip alarm catches my attention. I would put in a high voltage that would give you a snappy zap
ReplyDeleteTrapping could be a problem.
DeleteThere are many inventions I do not use...a microwave is one; electric toothbrush another...among myriad others.
ReplyDeleteMy furry mates would be grateful to the person who invents a silent vacuum cleaner. :)
Many cats run for cover when the vacuum cleaner starts growling.
DeleteWhat happened to number 5? :)
ReplyDelete(4. Flyhole Zip Alarm )
Well-spotted "The Cheat" and thank you for pointing that out.
DeleteMy husband (who does the vacuuming chez nous) bought a vacuum called the Electrolux Ultrasilencer last year. It is truly a wonder - almost impossible to hear from the next room. There have been no complaints about its efficiency either. This was bought in Denmark but probably is available in the UK.
ReplyDelete