29 February 2020

Celebrities

Celebrities are such wonderful people aren't they? They will do anything for charity. I don't know if it is the same in other countries but here in Britain our celebrities are always raising money for various charities. 

Very kindly they appear on TV quiz shows that then have no need for recruiting ordinary people as contestants. At the end of each show the celebrities tell us the names of their favourite charities. The celebrities may get their expenses paid and of course they achieve extra TV exposure but these factors are purely incidental.

We have one celebrity show called "I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here" in which a plane load of celebrities are flown to Australia to spend a couple of weeks in a jungle encampment. They have various tasks to perform called "bush tucker trials" in which they face snakes or spiders and munch upon grubs and animal genitalia to win stars for the other celebrities back in the camp. The celebrities have a jolly old time and in the end one of them is voted King/Queen of The Jungle. The calls of the telephone voting public raise money for charity as we watch the celebrities having fun.

Recently a random bunch of British celebrities were going to be flown out to Mongolia to trek across a frozen lake but the expedition was cancelled at the last minute because of concerns about coronavirus. Instead, the celebrity circus headed for The Namib Desert in Africa to perform a very different trek. And it was all for charity. The cost of cancelling the original project and the transport costs to Namibia were again purely incidental.

I have got a new idea for a celebrity fundraiser called "Seven Continents in Seven Weeks". It's quite simple really. The celebrities head for Heathrow Airport and are then flown business class to Las Vegas in North America. They stay at The Bellagio Hotel and get to visit The Grand Canyon and Death Valley.

Then they are flown to South America where they participate in the big Carnival in Rio de Janeiro before riding with gauchos across The Pampas of Argentina and heading down to Tierra del Fuego to do some penguin and whale watching.

Next it's on to Antarctica to spend a few days with The British Antarctic Survey, learning more about climate change and marine life beneath the ice sheets.

After this the celebrities move on to Australia - attending a charity concert headed by The Rolling Stones in Sydney Opera House before learning to surf at Bondi Beach. Then it's on to Asia, including an early morning visit to The Taj Mahal and a helicopter flight to the summit of Mount Everest - weather permitting.

Next the celebrities move on to Africa to endure a wildlife safari in The Masai Mara National Park in Kenya before heading back to Europe and a restful sojourn in The Isles of Greece, learning to dance like Zorba the Greek to exotic balalaika music.

As I say, celebrities are wonderful people who do so much for charity but some will not be tough enough to complete the demanding "Seven Continents in Seven Weeks" challenge as outlined above. Still, if they remind themselves that it is all in the name of charity perhaps a few celebrities will come up to the plate. Afterwards, one or two of them might write books about the challenge and secure magazine and newspaper interviews too. Celebrities are special people and I am sure that we ordinary mortals will be happy to fund their selfless intercontinental charity work. 

40 comments:

  1. I want to be a celebrity! Do we get unlimited champagne? Where do I sign?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are an ordinary person like me JayCee. I am sorry to say that the producers of "Seven Continents in Seven Weeks" could not entertain your application.

      Delete
  2. Are you going to need a prybar to get your tongue out of your cheek, YP? lol

    What I'm waiting for now is your post on Boris Junior.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Johnson let this news out of the bag on the very day that Britain's Home Secretary was under dire scrutiny. He was cynically using the private news for political deflection.

      Delete
  3. "Seven Continents in Seven Weeks" sounds like the prize you could win in a game. I'm with JayCee, I'd like to go. Maybe I can be a fake celebrity. Besides, the real celebrities should have a challenge such as to climb Mount Everest not be taken by helicopter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You could dress up like Dolly Parton and put on a fake Tennessee mountain accent. That is the only way you are going to get on the show Bonnie Parton.

      Delete
  4. Our celebrities are similarly engaged in charitable activities. Most of the time, whenever I happen to come across a show that has celebrities as contestants or talk guests, I find I have never heard of them. Therefore, they could just as well be ordinary people. If such a challenge like the one you describe was with bloggers from across the world, chances are I would know at least some of them!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Likewise - I often see "celebrities" on TV that I have never heard of. Shirley and I frequently say, "Who's that?"

      Delete
    2. I'm glad I'm not the only one who hasn't a clue!

      Delete
  5. Gosh what a sarky but insightful tongue. Actually my first point of call on charities is how much does the CEO get in their salary. And should some of those programmes on deserted islands, eating the poor creatures who survive on the island not look out for coravirus?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sarky? Who? Me? Never Thelma! A huge charity like Oxfam needs very talented people at the top so I don't care over much that Danny Sriskandarajah earns about the same as the headteacher of a large secondary school.

      Delete
    2. Is it Danny or Daniel? I've always wondered :)
      He needs to be very talented indeed to sort the damage to Oxfams reputation after Haiti, I must admit they have lost my support :(

      Delete
  6. What's wrong with Filey or Morecambe YP? Save air miles use a charabanc.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Filey and Morecambe are okay for ordinary folk but celebrities would never be seen dead in such places.

      Delete
    2. Paul McCartney and David Bowie both had holidays in Filey.

      Delete
    3. That's before they were celebrities. Boris Johnson had chalet holidays at Butlins. Thatcher liked nothing better than a week in a caravan at Mablethorpe and Leo Varadkar enjoyed a week in a gypsy caravan on The Dingle Peninsula.

      Delete
    4. Charlie Chaplin stayed in Waterville and George Bernard Shaw stayed in Glengariff.

      Delete
    5. Was that just before they died?

      Delete
  7. This well-deserved homage to those wonderful gods (aka celebrities) moved me, as a lesser mortal, to grateful tears. Their selflessness is beyond reproach and my admiration of their charitable work is endless.

    That said, if “celebrities” is in the title of whatever TV programme, I find I never switch it on… I wonder why that is? Is there something wrong with me?

    Anna :o]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Celebrities are the modern gods. We must all pay homage to them. In answer to your question, there could indeed be something wrong with you Anna... too much independent thinking perhaps?

      Delete
  8. Over here it seems to me that people go on crazy faked 'reality' shows to GET famous in the first place (and for winning a prize rather than giving anything to charity). *Then* they turn up on the quiz shows and talk shows and charity shows as celebrities (but still unknown to me since I never watched the shows where they were supposed to have earned their fame in the first place). Your seven continents in seven weeks seems like an excellent idea how to continue spreading both fame and corona viruses over the earth. How much use it would be for charity, I'm less sure...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never doubt the charitable powers of celebrities DT! Without celebrities all charities would surely crumble.
      P.S. I understand what you mean about the reality show path to dubious stardom.

      Delete
  9. My son once used the phrase "laptop celebrity" and I immediately understood. I don't know who half the so-called celebrities are these days but I figure that's because I'm old and don't keep up with the latest comings and goings and matings of those in the public eye.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do celebrities mate in the public eye? They're like animals...laptop animals.

      Delete
  10. Maybe they wouldn't have you but your son has probably attained sufficient celebrity to be welcomed on such a trip. And what about "I'm a Celebrity..."? He would be a big hit in a vegan bushtucker trial. After that you'd be able to gatecrash yourself in like Boris's dad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now you have got me thinking Tasker! Perhaps you can be my agent.

      Delete
  11. I don't even know who half of the "celebrities" are on these shows. My theory is, if you have to go on "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here," you're not really a celebrity anymore. Your career's in the tank.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do I detect a whiff of envy in your comment Steve Geiger Counter?

      Delete
  12. I read this post earlier and decided not to comment. Apart from anything else I do not watch 'celebrity' programmes and the one bit I saw on the news of "I'm a Celebrity in the Jungle" or whatever its called definitely decided me that it was not for me. I suppose the reality is that celebrities can get people to donate so it's a commercial decision for the charities and the TV companies can make good money, provide something obviously a lot of people watch and 'celebrities' get to feel good, raise their profile etc etc. However what made me comment was the fact that today I was preparing dinner for friends tonight and also had a mass of ironing to do. So as I was kitchen-bound I decided that, instead of listening to music as is my usual habit, I would watch 'Living on The Veg'. What did I discover? Celebrities. It made me wonder whether the celebrity is paid and there to tempt in viewers or is there to raise his or her profile on the back of a (hopefully) successful television cookery show.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That fellow who was on today - Luke - is one of Ian's genuine friends. They were mates long before "Bosh!" happened. However, I agree with your suggestion that there's a lot of mutual back scratching going on in Celebrityworld.

      Delete
  13. I've never watched any of those "celebrity" shows, and most of the people on them would be strangers to me. I agree with Steve--anyone appearing on those types of programs probably don't have much of a career left to lose.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never mind about that Jennifer - how come South Carolina gave Joe Biden such a lift? The guy's far too old to be the next president. He will be 78 in November. The median age upon accession to the presidency is 55 years and 3 months.

      Delete
  14. I have no idea who any of these present day "celebrities" are, and the type of shows they frequent are not ones I'm likely to watch. Except for Mary Berry maybe. However, last week I watched a programme and caught a name I'd actually heard of - Angela Rippon! Now that really dates me, I know, but at least I'd heard of her. The rest of the panel - I hadn't a clue who they were.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is funny how some celebrities seem like nobodies.

      Delete
  15. The celebrities who appear on those kinds of shows are people who usually are trying to raise their profile but that just means they have been ballsy enough to have a go in a tough business and have met enough success to be known but not enough to be big shots. I wouldn't want to do half the things they do (being covered in cockroaches comes to mind) and if I did those things I'd want the money for myself.

    We're all just trying to get by

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have a charitable view of celebrities Kylie.

      Delete
  16. I know two of the celebrities on the desert trekking challenge, no idea who the others are. I asked Edwina Currie to come to a presentation dinner I organised for the Lady Truckers Club, and she did. She supports women's endeavours to become equal players in the workplace.

    I have met Amar Latif on two occasions. He is the founder of Traveleyes, a company which organises holidays for blind and visually impaired people, he himself is blind. I have been on two of his holiday. He didn't set out to be a celebrity, it's just how it's happened. He has done a lot of good work for charity, and a he's a thoroughly nice guy.

    ReplyDelete
  17. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete

Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.

Most Visits