Back at Bert's house yesterday afternoon. I knew that his younger son would be stewarding at the Sheffield United match. I stayed for two hours until his older son Paul arrived on his motorbike. I took him a chocolate Easter egg and a bottle of "Timothy Taylor" beer.
Conversing successfully with Bert is becoming more difficult. He forgets so much - like names and dates and even vital words in sentences. He sits there day after day, sideways on to his television and he cannot mount his steep stairs without assistance. That is what Paul was going to do yesterday - help his father up the stairs in order to have a shower.
Bert's shocking appearance - caused by an attack of shingles is now little more than a horrible memory. Sometimes he will even forget the term "shingles" but his face is now cleared up. For some bizarre reason, he always has a vile right wing news channel on on his television and I have to ask him to turn it down or better still - turn it off. He isn't really watching it anyway.
Yesterday I played around with "YouTube" on the TV set and found him two wartime songs that he would sometimes sing in the local pub. He couldn't possibly do such a search by himself. He sang along to them and asked me to play them twice. I am sure this was the highlight of his day or perhaps it was the shower that was to follow..
Bert was born in 1936. Hopefully, he will be 88 years old later this year so these old wartime songs played in the background of his wartime childhood in London and Northamptonshire. Everybody here in Britain knew them and I can recall my mother singing them occasionally in the kitchen of my own childhood home. I feel connected to them even though I was born eight years after World War II.
First comes Gracie Fields singing "Sally" in what was I think her last public performance in 1978 and then there's Vera Lynn singing "We'll Meet Again". Both women went out of their way to entertain troops during World War II. Another world... another time...
I am only vaguely aware of Gracie Fields but I have oft said I want Vera Lynn's version of "We'll Meet Again" played at my funeral. If one is indeed held.
ReplyDeleteIt's a great goodbye song. Will you be having a gravestone? I will happily design one for you. Just send me the details.
DeleteNope, no gravestone, no grave. Ashes on the wind.
DeleteBoth these women were well known and helped in the war effort with their music. I don't remember hearing them during the war.
ReplyDeleteOf course you are a good bit younger than Bert.
DeleteBert has really taken a dive, it doesn't seem long since he was living independently.
ReplyDeleteMy parents are not quite at Berts stage but they are becoming a worry and I would be very appreciative of someone like you checking in, giving some company and practical support. "It takes a village" doesn't just apply to children
Just because Bert is going downhill doesn't mean I will forsake him. I will be there for him right to the end. I know his ex-wife and his sons appreciate my involvement.
DeleteThat was a sweet thing you did for Bert.
ReplyDeleteYou're a good man.
No, you're a good human.
KInd of you to say that Bob.
DeleteYou are such a good person to do this for and with Bert. Singing the songs was an excellent idea and I'm sure the highlight of his day. It's so difficult to see people we care about in that situation; you are handling it perfectly.
ReplyDeleteNext time I go round I will do the "You Tube" thing again.
DeleteI remember "We'll Meet Again" and I am glad you found these old songs for Bert. It's a shame there is no downstairs shower facility for him.
ReplyDeleteHe has a commode downstairs and sleeps in what was his front room. It is not much of a life and he's never outside in the light boosting his Vitamin D levels.
DeletePoor, poor Bert. What a miserable way to spend his days, unable to do anything but watch TV, and maybe he can‘t even choose for himself what to watch, and he can‘t simply go and has a shower when he wants to.
ReplyDeleteI am glad he still gets the occasional visitor, and that his bout of shingles has subsided. I am also glad that the music brightened his day.
I will play more YouTube material for him next time I go round. It was lovely to hear him singing along.
DeleteDeanna Durbin singing "Danny Boy" would be my choice of Top Of The Pops 1945.
ReplyDeleteBut you are not called Danny! You're Davey!...
DeleteOh, Davey boy, the pints, the pints are calling
From Bury town, and down to Merseyside.
The winter's gone, and all the daffies falling,
It's you, it's you must swallow some bromide.
Long after the war I can remember my parent's 78 rpm record of Vera Lynn singing "We'll Meet Again". That song meant so much to so many people during the war years. It's been played many times since in films and documentaries about the war.
ReplyDeleteYou are a good friend to keep Bert company, and thank goodness he has his son to help him too. Old age, on your own, can be a sad and sometimes frightening affair if you have no family to support you.
Without his younger son Philip, Bert would have to be in an old folks' home now.
DeleteAh, poor Bert. I hope he enjoyed his singalong.
ReplyDeleteA little brightness in his day.
DeleteListening to those songs would have lifted his mood. It can be astonishing how music remains when other memories are failing. So, it was good you found them for him. But it was extremely ungrateful of you not to watch the right-wing TV channel he had put on especially for you. He must have been disappointed.
ReplyDeleteThat right wing channel is on every time I go round. It's called GB News and it is filled with ignorance and unkindness.
DeleteI've seen it. I thought it was a comedy channel.
DeleteOld age is not easy.
ReplyDeleteThrough your job, you know that more than most.
DeleteThat was nice of you to visit Bert and share the music with him. I'm glad he has some family and friends like you to support him.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know those songs but I wondered how many of those RAF pilots were able to meet again after the war and how many never made it home.
As I age, I often wonder what will become of me. My mother is still active and driving at age 89. But I know that is not the norm for many people.
ReplyDeleteWhy do older people often gravitate to right-wing news sources? It's such a mystery. Maybe they sympathize with the underlying nostalgia, the need for things to be as they were. ("Make America Great Again!")
ReplyDeleteIt's great you were able to stimulate his memory with these old songs. I often pass Gracie Fields' old house when I walk through Hampstead.
Vera Lynn and the song she sings looks/sounds familiar to me, but not the other one. It's not easy to handle when old friends or family sort of drift away. Had some experience of it with my own dad the last 2-3 years of his life. My mum's sister will be 88 later this month and is still perfectly clear-headed (and her husband too). One never knows... (And perhaps just as well that one doesn't!)
ReplyDeleteIt is sad to watch someone deteriorate as is happening to Bert. You can only hope they are comfortable and reasonably happy.
ReplyDelete