You may have seen me in cartoons of long ago. My name is Bluto and I am a very, very old man now. I live in a nursing home in Connecticut where I am attended by some very kind carers. To be frank, they have lengthened my life for which I am infinitely grateful. From my room, I can see the ocean sparkling through the trees, reminding me of my youth upon the salt sea waves.
Some of you will recall that I was the arch enemy of Popeye the Sailorman and together we battled for the affections of Miss Olive Oyl who we met on the harbour front in Boston. In fact, you might say that it was she who tore us apart for up until that time we had been crewmates and drinking buddies onshore. Ah, those were the days.
If you had a page devoted to you on Wikipedia, I am sure you would occasionally check it out - for its detail and its veracity. I guess that all famous people do that. When I first saw my Wikipedia page, I was shocked, stunned and hurt. This is what they have to say about me:-
"Bluto is a cruel, bearded, muscular ruffian who serves as Popeye's nemesis and archrival for the love of Olive Oyl. He usually uses brute force and/or trickery to accomplish his various goals. His voice is very loud, harsh and deep, with an incomprehensible bear-like growl between words and sentences."
You know folks, to read that, it was devastating. It was as if Wikipedia knew nothing about me and my complex relationship with Popeye and Olive. Effectively, it was a classic love triangle.
They neglected to mention my challenging upbringing and how I helped my mother Florence to raise my six siblings after our father ran away with a Canadian floozy called Gloria. They also forgot to refer to how my life unfolded after my long years at sea. Through a correspondence course I gained a degree in International Relations and then spent several years working with the downtrodden citizens of Senegal and Bolivia.
And after Popeye and Olive were killed on the freeway just east of New Haven, it was me who delivered their eulogy even though Popeye had stolen Olive from me all those years ago. She was the love of my life and I admit that I never truly got over her.
It is easy and sometimes tempting to portray people as mere caricatures of themselves - focusing on the surface rather than what lies beneath. I may have conveniently seemed like a "muscular ruffian" with a "bear-like growl" but there was always more to Bluto T. Windass than that. For example, did you know that I wrote poetry? Maybe one day, if I remain upon this earth a while longer, I will share one or two of my poems with you.
Kind regards,
Bluto
A Canadian floozy, the worst kind of floozy!
ReplyDeleteYou should know Pixie.
DeleteBluto was just misunderstood?
ReplyDeleteHe had more substance.
DeleteI can't imagine what prompted you to write this, Neil?!?
ReplyDeleteThat's a hard question Ellen. I guess it was just an experiment in creative writing.
DeleteI wonder if Bluto will have his own blog. I'm sure he would have many stories to tell.
ReplyDeleteYeah - like that time his car broke down in Esk.
DeleteWell, there's a lot more to Bluto than I ever knew!
ReplyDeleteSadly mistreated by the media.
DeleteAlthough I did watch the odd Popeye cartoon on TV as a kid, I never quite got into them, finding neither the "stories" (as much as there were) nor the characters capturing enough. I remember Bluto but had the question come up in a pub quiz, I would not have known this character's name.
ReplyDeleteWell now you know! Happy to help out. We sometimes get questions on "Monopoly" boards. I guess there is a German version? Perhaps you could revise it.
DeleteThere are many German versions of Monopoly. We have one that dates back to the late 1940s/early 50s. The little houses are made of wood, and the paper for the money and the chance cards is very different from the paper used today.
DeleteMany cities have their own version, as I guess is the case in the UK, too. And... I have a Star Trek version :-D
I have to admit I haven't given Bluto a single thought for many years, but he shouldn't feel bad about it, I haven't thought of Popeye or Olive Oyl either.
ReplyDeleteGiven a chance, would you have dated Bluto when you were young Elsie?
DeleteI always thought they were hideous characters but your writing up of their current history has brought me up to date. Thank you ;)
ReplyDeletePerhaps you were too intellectual for Bluto, Popeye and Olive Thelma.
DeleteBluto couldn't help his solid and muscular threatening appearance (hmm) in comparison to the scrawny Popeye who needed the drug known as spinach to become strong.
ReplyDeleteThe way that tinned spinach affected Popeye - it should be banned.
DeleteSorry but he was just a big bully
ReplyDeleteYou have often claimed that Olive.
DeleteOne of your best posts ever. Thanks for putting the record right. So many others have been misunderstood too, on screen and in real life as well, such as Hannibal Lecter, Norman Bates, Darth Vader, Benito Mussolini, Jacon Rees-Mogg, Liz Truss, and my childhood tormenter Geoffrey Bullard. All intelligent, sensitive souls who given a chance would have brought only good into the world. You could restore their reputations next.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if Geoffrey Bullard was somehow related to Jimmy Bullard who played for Hull City for a while?
DeleteSometimes you have to look behind the mask to realise the true nature of a man. Olive Oyl was always rather taken by Bluto, the flirt.
ReplyDeleteI think she like his massive arms and the relationship between his huge neck and his tiny head. Rather like Barry?
DeleteHow did you guess?
DeleteAn afternoon in Toon town.
ReplyDeleteReality or fantasy? There can be some overlapping.
DeleteGood one, Mr. P! And nice to know that Bluto finally realized that punching someone into the next panel in the comic book was not the way to resolve his problems.
ReplyDeleteViolence can never win out in the end.
DeleteI like the way you began this as a reflection on a minor cartoon character and turned it into a reminder to look beneath superficial appearances.
ReplyDeleteThis was one of the weirdest posts I have ever published. But it was in my head so I went with the flow of it.
DeleteIt's interesting to see this post. My son-in-law recently wrote a newspaper column all about Popeye and the gang and how they came to be. When I hear Bluto's name, I'm reminded of one of the cartoons in which a bullfrog keeps croaking "Bluto done it, Bluto done it" to Popeye. Poor Bluto - always blamed for everything.
ReplyDeleteBluto was terribly misunderstood. He should have had his own show - perhaps a late night chat show.
Delete