My old friend Bert will be 88 years old next month - that's if he makes it of course. I went round to see him last Friday. He has recently spent two weeks in hospital following an episode that involved significant loss of blood from his back passage. It was all very concerning but the issue seems to have settled down now with no need for surgery. I tried to read the hospital discharge report but I could not make head nor tail of it with all the abbreviations and the obscure medical terms.
When I went round, his younger son Philip was there. He is effectively Bert's main carer.
The telephone rang and it was Bert's estranged wife Pat at the other end of the line. I spoke with her for a little while before passing the handset across to Philip. A conversation began about her television and the remotes that work it. Many older people do not find it easy to operate televisions these days when it all used to be very easy. There was the on/off button, the volume control knob and we only had two channels to choose from - BBC or ITV.
Of course I could only hear one side of the amusing conversation but it went something like this:-
PHILIP: What's the problem Mum? ...You need to press the AV button... It's the one next to the TV button... It's got TV above it Mum... No. I said the AV button... It's at the top on the right... They are next to each other... The AV button is on the left... No Mum, I didn't say AB... I said AV. V for violin, not B for Bobby... Yes. That's the one you need to press... No Mum - you didn't need to switch it off... No Mum! Switch it back on again!... I am not shouting Mum. I am just telling you what to do... Just press the AV button... It's next to the TV button. It's at the top... You don't need to change the channel... It's on the sheet I did for you... It's on the shelf... The one under the telly... No Mum you can't talk into it.. You have mixed it up with the phone... Press the AV button. The one next to the TV button...
And so it went on.
It was nice to see Bert again. He seemed calmer than before - less aggressive in his confused comments about Philip and Pat. I brought him a can of Jamaican rum and coke. At the end of a night in the local pub, he would often treat himself to a Bacardi and coke after three or four pints of Tetley's bitter.
Then he would toddle off down the road to Napoleon's Casino where he'd drink a couple more pints or three and mingle with the other late night regulars and previously unseen visitors but he never gambled. Frequently, he would head home at three or four in the morning, getting up around midday.
Oh yes, the old boy was a bit of a rogue in his time. In retirement, he dissed the old maxim: "Early to bed, early to rise, makes Jack healthy, wealthy and wise". That was never Bert's way. I hope he makes it to 88 and I think he will. In spite of his ailments, he's a tough old bloke.
I'm always sad when some one who has been with it and full of energy all their life is losing it.
ReplyDeleteI wonder why he was bleeding. A GI bleed? I hope he's able to enjoy what time he has left. It sounds like a rum and coke would help him to enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteI'm betting he will make it to 88 now the hospital has sorted the other problem. Funny about some people and their remotes, I have several neighbours in their 80s who have no trouble and others younger who watch nothing but TV because they can't remember how to turn the dvd player on and off.
ReplyDeleteI used to run a morning tea and chat group for a group of church ladies and one of them had the same kind of bleeding event at the group. I had to become quite stern about getting an ambulance for her. Old age is not for sissies.
ReplyDeleteI hope Bert makes it to 88 but if he doesn't it sounds like he's mostly had a good time getting close
Believe it or not, just yesterday I was thinking about Bert. Before I would ask you how he is, I wanted to check on your blog - just in case I had missed a recent post of yours during my two weeks in the mountains.
ReplyDeleteGood to know he seems to have come out of hospital better than he went in.
The conversation about the remote sounds like a template for many similar ones - not with my Mum, though. She turned 80 two months ago but she is very apt at using all her gadgets - she has set almost all of them up on her own, rarely needing assistance.
I can imagine the conversation about the tv remote. My mother constansly asked probably once a month if the air condition remote control needed new batteries. The normally last for a few years and I kept telling her this and that the warning that they are going flat is the screen will become faint to read. Nope, every month, do I need new batteries in my aircon remote? I couldn't bear to be without heating/cooling.
ReplyDeleteHopefully Jack will live on but it doesn't take much to knock an 88 year old off their perch.
Goodness me, he certainly punished his body with all that booze. I hope it doesn't fail him now.
ReplyDeleteWell first of all, belated Many Happy Returns. I commented yesterday but it seems to have disappeared.
ReplyDeleteGlad that Bert is still around and still enjoying a drink. I use my computer for television watching and so do not have problems with handsets. In fact I rarely watch TV with the family as it takes about half an hour to find a programme for everyone. Choice is not necessarily a benefit as a group but does benefit the solitary selfish person!
Philip's conversation with his Mum sounds exactly like mine with my ever-patient computer guru!
ReplyDeleteBert looks a very happy man and seems to have cracked the secret of longevity. Ignoring the "healthy" rules is obviously good for you! Tempted to follow his lead YP?
To make matters worse, not only are remotes more complex to use, but as we transgress away from wired cable television to channels over the internet, the menus we must navigate are getting a lot more complex. I just hope I will still have physical books around to read when I am 88!
ReplyDeletePhilip's conversation with his mum quickly brought back memories of conversations with my mom regarding her TV and computer. We had phone conversations, I wrote step-by-step directions to navigate both devices, and yet each day was a new day. When my siblings and I cleaned her house to put it up for sale, I found at least a hundred reminder notes tucked all over her home. I remember the frustration at having to write a note every time I visited, but when I piled up all the notes and showed them to my sibs, we all had a good laugh.
ReplyDeleteOur cable has a voice option on the remote that works for everything except my DVD/Blueray player, and I will still watch some things on DVD.
ReplyDeleteI can "kind of" relate to the remote problems - or at least I can easily imagine myself getting to that totally confused stage at some point in the future... I have one remote to operate my smart TV itself, with internet streaming apps; but have to use another one for watching cable TV and be able to switch channels. My cable TV service also includes limited rerun options from certain channels (sometimes making it hard to remember whether I'm watching something "live", or as rerun, or via internet streaming). Lately the cable company must also have run some sort of major system update because watching the cable channels ceased to function on and off for a while: For a week or so I had to repeatedly restart several individual parts of the system almost every time I turned the TV on. Seems to be okay again now, but it left me wondering if in 10 or 20 years time (if even live that long) I'd still be able to deal with things like that and figure out what to do... (Besides those two controls I also have to use a third one if I want to listen to the radio; a fourth one if I want to use my BRD player; and a fifth one if I want to use my old DVD player...)
ReplyDeleteIt's gotten more complicated to watch TV, but I am getting used to the new setup. My cable company sent me new equipment with self-installation instructions but they were the instructions for a totally different piece of equipment. Took a while to figure it out. New remote came with it and they changed all of the channel numbers for my cable shows so I was not a happy customer.
ReplyDeleteTechnology is not kind to old people!
My old mate use to use his pool cue to press the button on his television. He called it his remote control.
ReplyDeleteRe: the comical one-sided phone conversation...my wife helped her nearly 80 year old father get his first smartphone. It has been a disaster.
ReplyDeleteI envy those people who have 'only' three or four remote controls. We've got dozens, literally. Every new device that comes into the house has a remote control option, even the flameless, artificial candles.
ReplyDeleteI would be dead if I drank seven pints in one night! (Even without the rum & coke!)
ReplyDeleteSomehow I missed this post. I am very glad to hear that Bert is still with us. 88 is an age to be proud to achieve.
ReplyDeleteWe are down to one remote! Hurray! Now. Have I ever had to call Hank to ask for help in certain situations? Yes. Yes I have. He is very good at doing phone tech help.