A lot of you entered the belly button competition that I launched a few weeks back. Thank you for your participation. Belly buttons or navels are customarily overlooked as if they were of little consequence but every belly button is a physical reminder of our pre-birth connections with our mothers. It is of course the site where the knot is tied after separation.
Belly buttons can be beautiful or ugly. In some cultures - notably Turkey - belly dancing focuses all eyes upon the centre of the belly - the navel.
From the hundreds of images received at Yorkshire Pudding HQ, the expert belly button judges have picked the following seven for adulation - in reverse order...
7. "Derek" - the squinting navel of John Gray, Wales...
6. "Paddy" - the happy navel of Dave Northsider, County Cork, Ireland...
5. "Tibby" - the tattooed navel of Bruce Taylor, Arizona, USA...
4. "Humpty" - the bulging belly button of a certain Canadian blogger who understandably wishes to remain anonymous...
3. "Juanita" - the elegant talking navel of Ms Mary Moon in northern Florida...
2. "Chardonnay" - the bejewelled navel of JayCee Manx on The Isle of Man...
1. "Clementine" - the perfect belly button of Ellen D - retired, grandmother and supportive blog visitor residing in Illinois USA...
Ellen wins a year's pass to "Belly Up" - the top professional belly button cleaning salon in Springfield, Illinois where the world famous Simpson family dwell. Indeed, Homer is a "Belly Up" client.
In time for Christmas, the other six commended entrants will receive a complimentary personal belly button cleaner so that they can keep their navels in tip-top condition at home. (Not for use at the Christmas dinner table)
Finally:-
Great Britain's most famous navel leader (1758 - 1805).He
was killed during a great navel conflict with French and
Spanish ships at The Battle of Trafalgar.
I hope mine arrives soon. I seem to be accumulating an inordinate amount of fluff.
ReplyDeleteThat's not just fluff JayCee. An earwig has made her home in there.
DeleteThanks YP. How else would we peel potatoes in bed without our belly buttons? That is a Mike Harding tip. I remember you saying you once met him YP.
ReplyDeleteYes I met him in Ribblesdale. His navel had false teeth!
DeleteOh my goodness, this was certainly a complete surprise to me. I wish my belly looked that slim but after having 5 children - that's just not going to happen. You are a silly man today, Neil!
ReplyDeleteI am pleased to say that from time to time I can be a silly billy Ellen. I hope that you didn't mind this bit of fun.
DeleteMr. P.! I did not give you permission to post that picture! Although, if it WERE my navel, I would have. What I wouldn't give...
ReplyDeleteI apologise most insincerely for unveiling your navel to the blogosphere.
DeleteHoratio Nelson took me a moment and then I groaned:)
ReplyDeleteDon't you mean you burst out in a fit of laughter?
DeletePerhaps had I taken a week or so to clean my navel I might have made the Top Seven, but alas the lint was too much!
ReplyDeleteWhat else do you store in there? Maybe your secret banking passwords and your smartphone.
DeleteDon't see a contest like this every day.... I somehow missed your announcement at the beginning... LOL I wouldn't be showing my belly button. Next up, t-shirt contest?
ReplyDeleteWet T-shirt contest.... for men only! We must remind ourselves that this is 2024 and not 1974.
DeleteWell, somehow I missed this great challenge!
ReplyDeleteEh? No you didn't Red. See No.4.
DeleteI wish I could unsee #3.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you will find a different tattoo idea for your navel Marcellous.
DeleteMaybe not. Reading about former SS-members being identified by their tattoos put me off tattoos at an early age. Not that I ever contemplated joining the SS, but you never know when you might become a fugitive. No distinguishing marks!
DeletePS: my father's generation all tittered at "Kiss me, Hardy!" but what if HN'd just asked Hardy to give him a raspberry?
I doubt there would have been any raspberries aboard HMS Victory.
DeleteHoratio Nelson was naval with two "A's" not navel with an "e". I wonder at the need for a belly button cleaner, doesn't it just get cleaned in the shower via a soapy finger and a good rinsing? When I saw your title I thought you would be writing about oranges. Navel oranges.
ReplyDeleteOh no! You can't clean a navel just like that! It requires proper attention or the possibility of infection arises.
DeleteOh, I might not be straight but JayCee's bejewelled belly button rather excites me. I'll never think of her in the same way again.
ReplyDeleteWhat's your navel like Andrew? Maybe you could post a picture of it on your blog.
DeleteI had to have Nelson explained to me . . . 😗
ReplyDeleteThey say we lose brain cells as we age.
DeleteProbably the most bizarre post you have ever written. I'm not sure how the great Horatio would react to being a navel leader but hey ho what's a homophone between friends.
ReplyDeleteThis is the silly season Graham.
DeleteI never know what I will see here.
ReplyDeleteThat's one of the nice things about having a blog. You pretty much have free rein and the right to be silly sometimes.
DeleteThat must be a very old picture of Tibby. My tum-tum doesn't look like that anymore.
ReplyDeleteThank God I got spared from this lineup! :)
ReplyDelete