Outside the wind is howling as Storm Darragh passes through our neck of the woods. Flying Debris would be a great name for a band with me on lead vocals, backing singers Meike, Jennifer and Thelma. Dave Northsider on lead guitar, JayCee on bass, Cro Magnon on drums and Coppa's Girl on keyboards. We'd do a world tour, snort drugs, smash up hotel rooms and record a best-selling album in Nashville. Life would be so fine.
Back to reality. The start of December means I need to get a Christmas parcel together for Robin - my brother in France. His box is now filled and I have just got to post it on Monday morning. That will cost a fair penny in spite of my watchfulness.
I bought him some work gloves from B&Q where, in the very same visit, I purchased a five foot Christmas tree. It is currently sitting in my car (Clint) ready to be put up next week. That's right - I won't be sending it to France.
We hadn't had a takeaway curry in a few weeks so this evening I addressed that by ordering one from "Bilash" on Sharrowvale Road. Onion bhajis, chicken bhuna, vegetable rice and two chapatis. Plenty for the two of us and as delicious as always. I still can't get used to the idea of food deliveries so I braved the storm to collect it.
I am trying to write a chatty blogpost that resists transforming into another "Quiztime" post. How am I doing? Oh, there goes another question.
My friend and pub quizmate Mike went away on a little adventure this weekend. He took the train up to Glasgow where he had reserved a hotel room in the city centre. Today he will have gone to watch St Mirren play Motherwell in The Scottish Premier League having found it impossible to secure a ticket for Celtic's match with Hibernian. It will be touch and go if he makes it back for tomorrow night's pub quiz.
We have lived strangely parallel lives. Like me he was Head of English in a Sheffield secondary school. Like me he has a son, a daughter and three grandchildren. Like me he has often enjoyed short trips away on his own - including several obscure European destinations. Like me he is a lifelong supporter of one of England's less glamorous football teams. Like me he is proudly woke. Many similarities but not the same.
Shirley is currently watching "Strictly Come Dancing" on the television. It has become a national obsession but I cannot bear it. Same with reality TV programmes - often involving so-called "celebrities". To me they are so superficial and mundane and yet they attract viewers like nobody's business. Instead, give me a documentary about garden slugs, a travel programme, an intelligent quiz show or a good comedy act - any would be preferable to reality TV show pap.
Anyway, my Saturday evening chitchat is just about done. The wind has calmed down quite significantly and this hundred year old house is no longer rattling as though it was out at sea. Time to bid you adieu. Flying Debris have officially disbanded.
Too bad you've disbanded Flying Debris already, I'd have come to see you.
ReplyDeleteWe might do a comeback tour - just for the money.
DeleteAre you and Mike actually the same person? Has anybody seen the two of your together? Someone who can confirm that you are separate people?
ReplyDeleteI used to work with an xray tech who was a few years older than me. We looked a lot alike and had the same body shape. One day, her and I were standing at the desk together, and a rad onc from downstairs saw us together and said, "I thought you two were the same person."
Let me know when the comeback tour is and I'll be sure to have "other plans" :)
I am six feet tall and Mike is five feet seven so we can't be the same person! If we do make a comeback, I will be sure to get you two complimentary tickets for the Edmonton gig.
DeleteYou definitely got away from the theme. It was a good chit chat moving from topic to topic.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading it Keith.
DeleteThis was nice. I agree with you about "reality" shows, there is nothing at all real about them. I never watch them.
ReplyDeleteWhat does reality TV say about western culture right now? Maybe it's just another kind of escapism.
DeleteA train to Glasgow? To watch a football match among Glaswegians? How extraordinary!
ReplyDeleteI can't get over the price of food deliveries, and I know the delivery person is not getting much of it. I too still go out to pick it up.
Do you order wallaby burgers with a eucalyptus side salad?
DeleteI don't understand the appeal of "Strictly" at all. But everyone seems to watch it. It's a mystery.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree about food deliveries, too. Dave gets everything delivered, but I'd always rather run to the store. After all, I have two legs, and why make some poor delivery driver bring me a bag of rice when I could go get it myself?
I thought it was the law that all gay people must love "Strictly Come Dancing".
DeleteI did enjoy my time with Flying Debris, but I want to state officially that I NEVER snorted any drugs. All my drugs were taken in liquid form exclusively, with "Princess Sparkle" having been my nickname with the band for good reason.
ReplyDeleteA nice chatty post, Neil. Yesterday morning I was listening to BBC Radio York while ironing, and they said that Christmas Markets in Ripon and many other places had been cancelled because of the storm. Hopefully, there has not been to much damage; I must text my sister-in-law after I have finished typing this comment.
The postage for the parcel to your brother in France will probably cost more than the actual present. With the family in Yorkshire, we have agreed that we are not sending parcels back and forth anymore, as it has become so expensive and annoying since Brexit, having to fill in the customs declaration so that you know the contents even before you open it - it puts the whole idea of a present ad absurdum.
I know what you mean about those annoying customs declarations giving the game away Princess Sparkle. Have you managed to wean yourself off those liquid drugs in rehab? Christ, I remember that night in Amsterdam! You couldn't do a "doo-wop" to save your life.
DeleteThank goodness, no more daily quizzes. The family orders from takeaways should they arrive home late in the evening. I have reservations about all these poor people running round after us bringing our parcels and food.
ReplyDeleteIt's an odd phenomenon that has grown without question.
DeleteMy one shot at fame and fortune and I've been disbanded already.
ReplyDeleteYour bass lines were at the very heart of our hit numbers, including "The Ballad of The Sheep's Head" and "Peregrine's Gone Running".
DeleteWhen TV has a good idea for a programme, the first one or two series are often interesting, but they then go on and on, drafting "celebrity" contestants and presenters like G Wallace, and they become tedious. I can can't stand them.
ReplyDeleteCelebrity this and celebrity that... How about "Celebrity Firing Squad" or "Celebrity Crocodile Tank". Stick Nigel Farage in along with Prince Harry and The Kardashians.
DeleteI have got my Michael Schenker hat coming in the post this week. We could move to that tax haven near JayCee.
ReplyDeleteEverybody on The Isle of Man is a rich tax dodger - even the cats without tails!
DeleteWell, that was short-lived YP, we didn't have time to enjoy the fame - or the money! Is the cheque in the post? Please remember that Meike and I would have preferred euros. With such an international group, paying us all in different currencies might have been a problem. If we do make a comeback at some stage, please give me plenty of warning so that I can have my zimmer frame serviced.
ReplyDeleteYour last couple of paragraphs could have been written by me - it's exactly how I feel about TV today. You missed out "influencers" - another pet hate of mine!
Your obsession with money was of course one of the reasons that Flying Debris broke up. Does the word "influenza" come from "influencers"?
Delete'Reality' television has outlived its time. It's wallpaper in motion. Why can we not celebrate people who have provided us with useful things like light bulbs, x-ray machines, traffic lights, instead of an endless array of chefs and other 'slebs?' (Subject of much ranting in this household.)
ReplyDeleteYou appear to have coined a new term and I like it - "sleb" - sounds like something that has crawled out of a swamp or a big sloppy lump of mush that is now slebbing around roaring, "Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!" No, thanks very much.
DeleteIf Flying Debris gets off on a World Tour, I'll be your road manager. Count me in.
ReplyDeleteYou can drive the tour bus too - taking in Milton Keynes, Hastings and Crigglestone.
DeleteEvery once in a while I take a look at a website that claims to have "celebrity" news, I have no idea who most of the people are, nor any idea why anyone would care what happens in their lives. Your life is more real and more interesting.
ReplyDeleteDo you check that website hoping to see your own name there? As you are The Laughing Horse Blogger of the Year, it's surprising that they have not yet caught up with you.
DeleteI have enjoyed moments of "reality" TV as a sort of forbidden treat but I soon wearied. There is nothing at all real about them, their lives, or the situations they find themselves in. But many do enjoy them.
ReplyDeleteAs to Flying Debris- I do have a friend who owns a recording studio in Nashville. And two other friends who own a recording studio not that far from here. If you've got the money, they can find the time.
Our raw talent and future prospects should be payment enough. We have an opening for a tambourine player if you would like to apply. Please send a demo tape.
DeleteHope the storm didn't cause too much damages. I'm no fan of so-called reality shows either. Most of the time I prefer (quality) fiction...
ReplyDeleteYou have a good variety of topics in your posts, Neil. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDelete