Okay so why did I need a colonoscopy this morning? Let's recap. On the night of March 14th my face became a ghost's face and I fainted - collapsing on the floor in an unseemly heap. In addition, when I sat on the toilet shortly thereafter, I discovered that I had deposited bright red blood. This continued for the next twenty four hours. Both highly unusual events were most certainly linked to my first dose of an anti-hypertensive drug that was new to me. It is called doxazosin.
And so I was referred to The Royal Hallamshire Hospital for a colonoscopy which happened this very morning. Yesterday, I had to starve myself and drink two litres of a special polyethylene glycol-based laxative called "Moviprep". By the way, "Moviprep" has nothing to do with settling down on the sofa with a bucket of popcorn and a fizzy drink to watch a movie (British English: film). Instead, it has everything to do with effectively flushing out one's bowels ready for examination by a gastroenterologist.
And so I lay there with my knees up on the trolley as a nice Polish doctor called Anna pushed an endoscope way into my rear end. I was sedated and calm and I watched the entire show on a big colour screen without wincing with any kind of pain or discomfort. Surprisingly, there were no advertisements for "Bran Flakes". It was like a mini-starship was venturing deep into a nether world in search of distant civilisations. I had never had a colonoscopy before.
They found a polyp that was cleverly removed with a tiny metal claw that lives right next to the camera lens. Anna's supervisor - an oriental gentleman with thinning hair and gold-rimmed spectacles said that he thought this might have been the source of the bleeding event. The polyp will be sent for analysis and I will later have a follow-up appointment to receive the informed verdict.
They put me in the recovery room for an hour and brought me a cup of tea and three bourbon biscuits. Because I had been given an intravenous sedative, Shirley came to pick me up from the hospital. It is less than two miles from our house - so very convenient.
I must say that the entire team in the endoscopy department were brilliant. Kind, competent and efficient - each performing his or her role in a proper, professional manner. I was in safe hands from start to finish. If I was rating the department on Trip Advisor, I would happily give them a glowing five star review. God bless the NHS!
That sounds positive to me! We have photos like the image above in our photo album (we are an odd family). We also have one of an endoscopy. Interestingly enough, they look pretty much the same.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever heard of pot-holing or caving Kelly? That's how it felt to me.
DeleteSpelunking!
DeleteYou've got it. The worst part is the preparation. I hope that you're good to go and that you have no more bleeding.
ReplyDeleteI have only taken that one dose of the doxazosin and I am very anxious about taking any more.
DeleteI prefer not to be a voyeur during colonoscopies. It's so much nicer to float away on the wonderful drugs they give you and have a terrific snooze instead. I think you should use that photo for your Christmas greeting card this year!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the Christmas card idea Debra. Your sense of humour is as wicked as mine!
DeleteThe relief of having a colonoscopy over with is immense, isn't it?! Your experience was different than mine - before being sedated I was positioned on my side, and I don't remember a thing from then until after it was over. Then I went home in a daze and slept for another four hours. I have heard that about polyps and bleeding. Hopefully your doctor is correct and you can carry on without worry.
ReplyDeleteI am glad I saw it all on the screen. The sedative put me in a very chilled out frame of mind - like a Buddhist monk.
DeleteI agree the polyp was most likely the source of the bleeding. I didn't get to watch mine on the little screen, I could feel the scope and was quite uncomfortable so they increased the sedation and I woke up in the recovery room. Got the "all clear and come back in ten years if you want to"
ReplyDeleteIt feels good to have starred in my own bio-pic. However, I hope there isn't a sequel.
DeleteI am glad that this wasn't the unpleasant and slightly frightening experience I imagine it to be. My Dad and several other people I know have undergone various types of -scopies and I find the sheer thought of them scary, although of course I know that the procedure is the best - and often the only - way to determine what's going on when a person shows certain symptoms.
ReplyDeleteOne has to swallow hard and simply be brave and trusting.
DeletePS: Did my email get through to you? I sent it on Friday.
ReplyDeleteYes. I will e-mail you.
DeleteMaybe you were still under the euphoric influence of the drugs when you composed this.
ReplyDeleteI was going to ask if the picture was a self-portrait (albeit not in the style of Lucian Freud), but the metadata indicated "shutterstock."
Maybe that should read "shitterstock"!
DeleteHere the practice is to completely knock the patient out, so to speak, for a colonoscopy. You lie on your side and the next thing you know is that you are conscious and the procedure is done. It would be interesting to watch. I don't suppose they gave you a recording?
ReplyDeleteI said to the oriental consultant, "Can I have a recording so that I can put it on YouTube - perhaps with music from '2001 - A Space Odyssey' "? He laughed at that but my insides are apparently confidential.
DeleteA single polyp is good news. That's one potential problem crossed off the list
ReplyDeleteIt certainly seems that way Kylie.
DeletePhew!
ReplyDeleteI was knocked out for mine and missed the whole show. Only woke up at the end, as they say.
To see inside myself - what a privilege! It was like being inside a whale.
DeleteOh dear , that reminds me of my experience several years ago. God bless the NHS indeed. I'm glad they found nothing serious YP. Is that a photo of Donald Trump yawning?
ReplyDeleteNo. It's too handsome for that complete bastard.
DeletePleased it went well. As a veteran of about 6 or 7 of these every 3 years until I was 65 (because my brother died of colon cancer aged 36) I've had both good and bad experiences. Once one of the doctors during the procedure, thinking I would not remember because of the sedative, said "It's pretty bad" and I had to go back again for a large polyp they could not get the first time.
ReplyDelete"Polyp" sounds like another way of saying "plop" which is what the colon specialises in creating.
DeleteThis is the most positive description of a colonoscopy I think I've ever read. Glad you did it and got it over with. I've had several; last few I was not awake for. I prefer that. I don't want to be watching anything.
ReplyDeleteI decided to share this tale in case other readers are called for colonoscopies. I felt I was removing some of the mystery.
DeleteWell you definitely removed some of the mystery! But glad it all went well and thank god for the NHS.
ReplyDeleteI followed my procedure (last year) on the screen, too. And it wasn't until I told people about it (both on and off blog) that I realised that just about everyone I know (at least my age and older) had already been through it...
ReplyDeleteOops. In case you're wondering, that was me - suffering from split Blogland personality...
DeleteTo boldly go, where no man has gone before.
ReplyDeleteGlad you got it done! The relief afterwards is always so profound. I was thinking the same- that you must have a little polyp that bled. Not uncommon at all. And just think how clean you are now, inside and out!
ReplyDeleteI've never been awake for any of the colonoscopies I have had. They use some type of "twilight" sedative that puts one to sleep but you wake up quickly and not groggy at all. Glad it went so well for you and I think it is great that you shared this experience so others won't be afraid.
ReplyDeleteWell done Mr. Pudding. What Travel said. Too funny!
ReplyDeleteGlad they got that polyp. I remember the first time I saw a colonoscopy, I couldn't believe how nice a colon looked when it wasn't full of shit. I wonder if that would work for trump? Perhaps that's why he's orange, so much shit.
Well, I'm glad it went, erm, smoothly. I also found it a relatively easy procedure once all the preparation was done. That was by far the worst part. I was half asleep for the rest!
ReplyDeleteYou clean up nicely.
ReplyDeleteWill Jay
well done - very informative!! A perfect example of the sort of thing that isn't easy to talk about, but should be! thanks
ReplyDelete