Recently I gave permission for the "Emmerdale" actress Catherine Tyldesley to imitate that famous scene from "American Beauty" where Mena Suvari lies on a bed of red roses. Miss Tyldesley was raising money for a charity which seeks to conquer muscular dystrophy. Her take on the "American Beauty" scene was to lie - not amidst roses - but in a bed of Yorkshire puddings!
Here's Miss Suvari:-
And here's Miss Tyldesley:-
I hope you will agree that the second picture is much sexier. I mean, what's going to turn a red-blooded man on the most? A dolly bird on a bed of roses or the same on a bed of Yorkshire puddings? No contest! The only thing missing from Miss Tyldesley's picture is lashings of onion gravy. Old Robbie Burns had it wrong when he wrote:-
Oh my love is like a red, red rose
That's newly sprung in June;
My love is like the melodie
That's sweetly played in tune.
It surely should have read:-
Oh my love is like a Yorkshire Pudding
That's newly risen in the pan
My love is like the Christmas jumper
That was knitted by my nan.
Next time Miss Tyldesley wishes to do a photoshoot, I will propose that she lies in bed with just one Yorkshire Pudding - that's if I can fit her in to my busy schedule!