18 February 2018

Albert

Once upon a time there was a green giraffe called Albert. He lived in woodland not so far from here. When dog walkers or joggers passed by, he simply stood stock still and blended in with the woods like a chameleon. 

Not many people knew of his existence. In fact, the day that  I first met him, I could have easily walked on by but I stopped to take a photograph of a squirrel. That's when I saw the background move.

I scrunched up my eyes and did a double take. Yes. there was no doubt about it. Blending in with a swathe of unkempt holly bushes and giant rhododendrons  and the green moss on the tree trunks there was - no it could not be, could it? - a green giraffe.

With trepidation, I tiptoed over to him. I know this may sound stupid but when I was but a few feet away from his spindly green legs, I looked up and said, "Hello!"

To my astonishment and after a deep exhalation of aromatic giraffe breath, the lofty creature whispered, "Hello!"

"Do not be afraid," I said, for I could sense that he was equally nervous. "I won't harm you!"

Then with a self-concious and slightly mischievous chortle, he said, "And I won't harm you!"

We both tittered and this seemed to break the ice.

He bent his long neck downwards. He was snuffling my hair in the same way that a dog gets to know people. Then, much to my surprise, he suddenly licked my face. It was as if I had just been sandpapered. 

"Urgh!" he exclaimed. "You taste of soap!"

Again we both chuckled.

I told him my name was Neil and he told me his name was Albert. At that first meeting, I didn't wish to unnerve him by bombarding him with questions. Of course there were many things I  wished to ask. After all, it's not every day that you meet a fourteen foot giraffe in the woods - especially a green one. But I didn't wish to put him off through interrogation.

Just then we saw two dogwalkers approaching along the winding woodland path. Instinctively, Albert edged back into the undergrowth , bent his head down and stood like a statue - as if frozen.

A wire-haired Jack Russell bounded towards me, sniffing inquisitively at my boots.

"Stop it Nipper! Don't worry! He won't bite!" said the older dogwalker who had a powdery white face and favoured blood-red lipstick.

It was a surprise that the little terrier seemed oblivious to Albert, standing no more than three yards away.

"Got any good pictures?" asked the younger dogwalker, noticing my camera.

"Just squirrels," I replied. She seemed unimpressed.

After they had  moved off, Albert said, "Thanks for not giving me away Neil. I am sorry, I have got to go now but may I see you another day?"

"Yeah. No problem," I smiled.

We made an appointment and just before Albert lummocked deeper into the woods he allowed me to take his picture. The resulting image is at the bottom of this blogpost. See below.
Albert

26 comments:

  1. This is a lovely story Neil, and Albert is so sweet!
    Greetings Maria x

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    1. True stories can still be lovely YP.

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    2. Questa è una storia vera Maria.

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    3. I had no idea you speak Italian.
      x

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    4. I have an Italian friend called Google!

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  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. In the street up behind where I lived during my childhood- in Gympie - was a garden that was filled with fantastic topiary animals and birds of all descriptions and sizes.

      The talented fellow who created the works of art was later to become the grandfather of Pat Rafter, a former World No. 1 Aussie tennis player.

      Pat's mother along with her brother, Lloyd, both went to the same primary school and high school as I did, but they were both older than I was.

      Throughout the years their father's meticulous garden and its wondrous creatures caused much admiration from the locals.

      By the way, Yorkie...I responded to your response to my response in your previous post re the spelling of liquorice.

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    2. Thank you for the Pat Rafter information Lee but I cannot understand why my story should have made topiary spring to your mind. I shall investigate the liquorice remark in a moment.

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  3. No one could ever accuse you of being an unimaginative blogger, YP. :)

    The best part of this post is the use of the word "lummocked."

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    1. It was the best word I could come up with to describe the ungainly, awkward motion of a giraffe.

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  4. Wonderfully imaginative - I love it. And agree with Steve on the use of the word lummocked. When is your next appointment with Albert scheduled to take place?

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    1. It is all in the past Jenny.

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  5. Gregg has a soft spot for giraffes. He got to approach and pet one at a zoo once and it made a grand impression on him! He says they're like Martian horses! :)

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    1. Martian horses? What has Gregg been smoking?

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  6. Will we meet Albert again?

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    1. I shall make a further report.

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  7. I’m so glad you introduced us to Albert! He’s a mighty fine green giraffe .🦒 Gabs

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    1. I am sorry to tell you that Albert must now be spoken about in past tenses.

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  8. Albert sounds a charming fellow and I hope to hear more from him.

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    1. Your wish is my command Terra.

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  9. Awesome imaginary conversation with a critter. Getting to know each other brings understanding and security.

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    1. Nothing "imaginary" about it Mr Red. As far as I was concerned, Albert was 100% real.

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  10. he's like a mascot for diversity: a green giraffe of African origin and living in Yorkshire. he just needs a rainbow scarf now

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    1. I am not sure that Albert saw himself that way. He was just, well, Albert!

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  11. Thank you for sharing valuable information nice post,I enjoyed reading this post.

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    1. You are so kind vaiybora. Your comments are always so well-considered.

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Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.