Last Thursday, as I walked through Endcliffe Park, I saw something so amazing and unusual that I just had to share it with you.
A young mother was pushing her baby in a pram. It was one of those baby buggies where the baby is able to look up at whoever is pushing. I would say that the baby was about six months old.
As they moved along, the young mother was communicating happily with her baby. She was making funny faces and speaking in a kind of baby language and the baby was laughing and thrashing his arms with delight. They were really communicating.
The reason I mention this is that normally when I see young mothers pushing their babies around they (the mothers - not the baies!) are glued to their smartphones - checking texts and Facebook updates and other important social media stuff.
It's as if the baby has become an irritating appendage. I mean who wants to laugh and make goofy faces at a baby when you can be reading the latest Strictly Come Dancing updates or checking out pictures of panini sandwiches? My question is deliberately ironic.
A child's earliest weeks and months are so important. It's a time for bonding and for learning in many subtle ways. What message is given to a baby when he or she sees Mum on her smartphone all the time? It's like saying - I choose to ignore you because whatever I am looking at on my phone is more interesting and more important than you are kid!
Small children need oodles of attention. If any young mothers with babies are reading this blogpost, please get off your smartphones! You can check out your phone stuff when baby is asleep. I worry about the long-term psychological effects upon babies who are frequently being ignored because of obsessive smartphone use.
Three cheers for this post!
ReplyDeleteI see it as people pick up their kids from school and instead of interacting there's just mum with her phone and kids dragging behind.
Those very early interactions are super important just as you say and too much phone time does teach the little ones that they are insignificant.
there has been a huge rise in kids needing speech therapy precisely because they don't hear enough spoken language. Through epigenetics we may actually be making permanent change to the shape of the human brain and not in a good way
A young mother needs to be focused upon her baby - seeing changes, hearing the sounds they make. It's called love.
DeleteI fear that you are absolutely correct.
ReplyDeleteYou mean young mothers do this in Florida too?
DeleteIn the US, baby carriers are frequently configured so that the child is facing away from Mom or whoever is pushing the kid. Not only are the parents not talking at the child, they're not looking at the child. It doesn't seem like a good thing to me. And yes, cell phone usage is rampant.
DeleteBabies under a year old need to be visible all the time. Well, that's what I think anyway.
DeleteI could not agree with you more! Our children are so important and those early years are critical. When you think about it, it is not hard to realize the many frightening implications of all the over-use of cell phones and social media.
ReplyDeleteI fear the baby will be thinking, "I don't matter. Mum doesn't care." and "What is that thing she is checking all the time?"
DeleteEverybody will agree with you on this one. Early communication is extremely important.
ReplyDeleteIt is said that 90% of what we learn as human beings is learnt in the first three years.
DeleteWe all know how important it is that parents communicate with their babies. I am sure the young mothers (and fathers) know it, too; they probably are not even aware of what they are doing. Maybe they think "I'll just quickly check this" and do not realise that their eyes are on their phone almost all the time.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many facebook groups and other online forums for young parents; of course I do not go there, but if it is not already the case, they should be writing about this and urge their followers to leave the phone in their handbags or pockets when out with the baby.
Perhaps it should be made a crime then nearly every young mother in the western world would find herself in court or in prison!
DeleteI don't understand why anyone walks around with their heads/eyes/ears glued on their bloody phones! Seeing, and hearing, these people who do so, really annoys/angers me!
ReplyDeleteSometimes when I am driving Clint, the car in front will fail to set off when the traffic light turns green. Why? The driver is on his/her phone - usually texting or something on their lap. Clint often wants to ram them and I have to rein him in.
DeleteI would like a rubber car just or that purpose.
DeleteAr you the texting driver or the one behind like me?
DeleteDrives me mad when I see mums on their 'phones or wearing headphones and listening to music when they're pushing buggies. Grrr.
ReplyDeleteIt shows just how addictive phones are... and they have been made that way so it's not just the young mums who are to blame.
DeleteThat's good to see. Technology has taken over from reality these days sadly.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's all being driven by big business - be it Apple, Microsoft, Google, Facebook, Twitter etc.. A form of addiction has been engendered - deliberately.
DeleteI saw that all the time at the bookstore. Parents would herd their little ones over to the train table in the childrens' department (or park the strollers beside it) and proceed to stare at their phones for the next hour while drinking their $6 Starbucks drink and totally ignoring the kids. In a bookstore, no less! You'd think they'd want to read to the kids (or at least let them look at books while THEY read something) to foster a love of books....but that was actually a rarity. It's sad.
ReplyDeleteAs I have suggested to a couple of other commenters - maybe it is the makers of smartphones and the associated social media sites that we should be blaming for this worrying phenomenon.
DeleteA valid point! Excessive smartphone use is a problem in many, many arenas of life -- young parenthood being just one of them.
ReplyDeleteLibraries being another!
DeleteIt makes me sad and worried when I see this. Children need interaction for many reasons, not the least of which is to learn to talk, but also to learn so many other things, including that they are important to their parents.
ReplyDeleteTechnology is a tool and we all have a choice to use it or misuse it.
Technology companies aim to keep people hooked so I don't entirely blame these young mothers.
DeleteI couldn't agree more. I see so many young mums superglued to their phones and totally ignoring their children. Like you, I wonder what effect it will have on their child. They will grow up thinking having a phone in front of your face is the accepted way of behaviour.
ReplyDeleteHopefully they will rebel and build a better world in which technology is no longer in charge.
DeleteI see this on the subway all the time! And of course as the child is ignored and ignored it gets more irritated and starts screaming to get the mother's (or father's) attention. I have then see the parent give the child the phone to keep them occupied rather than interacting with them themselves!
ReplyDeleteRecently I was on the train when a young mom actually did pay attention to her toddler - who was having a wonderful time "chatting" with mom - full of smiles & ver animated. When I exited the train I complimented the mom on what a great job she was doing! It is just appalling and will have far reaching effects that we can only imagine - very sad.
Clearly this post has resonated with you Margie. "Far reaching effects that we can only imagine"...that's right.
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