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| Frances and Ian - London - Oct 7th 2018 |
Shirley and I were blessed to have two normal, healthy babies. They enjoyed happy childhoods and have grown up to become thoughtful adult human beings who relish the gift of life.
But of course it isn't like that for everyone. Here are some close-to-home references that confirm that reality. Our son, Ian has many good friends - guys he has known for years. Though Ian remains a carefree bachelor, several of his mates are settling down and becoming fathers.
How quickly the joyful anticipation of pregnancy can be replaced with a massive weight of anxiety. One of his old school friends became the father of a very premature baby that struggled to survive through his early weeks of life and is now permanently impaired both physically and mentally. Another friend's new baby has been in and out of hospital since birth. She has had two corrective operations because her organs were somehow arranged incorrectly within her chest cavity. She is bound to have breathing and digestion problems throughout her life.
A friend of mine's ex girlfriend has a four year old child who cannot walk, has a floppy head and drools when he eats or drinks. It is unlikely that there will ever be much improvement
Though we did not know him personally, a local young man well-known to friends, recently leapt to his death from a multi-storey car park in Manchester. He was a university student - just twenty one years old. Imagine how his parents must be feeling now.
Yes, we were blessed even though Shirley suffered not just one but two ectopic pregnancies in the eighties. One before Frances came along and one after. Sometimes I think about those little flames of life that burned so briefly and then went out but it is as nothing compared with the stories I have alluded to above.
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Reading News
I have just finished "Time and Time Again" by Ben Elton. It was well-written fiction that poses the question - if there was a moment in history you could change what would it be? Hugh Stanton has the opportunity to travel back in time to prevent the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria in Sarajevo on June 28th 1914. He hopes to stop The First World War and for good measure carries on to Berlin to kill Kaiser Wihelm II, the German Emperor. But does his mission work and what kind of path will history take if he is successful?
It is I suppose a kind of fantasy novel - not normally my cup of tea but this was a stonking good read. Very well-considered by an intelligent author whose roots were in comedy script-writing for the BBC - including "The Young Ones" and "The Thin Blue Line". Let's leave it at that.
I really feel for people who have babies with monumental problems. I became pregnant for the first time at the age of 40 and was blessed with a model pregnancy and quick childbirth with a healthy baby, despite my worries it would not go well for my age. I can't begin to think how I would have coped with problems, but I guess you love that child unconditionally. Now it seems Meghan and Harry are expecting!
ReplyDeleteI wonder if their baby will be black...The Black Prince.
DeleteDid you know that October is the month for remembering lost babies? I forget the exact name of it.
ReplyDeleteAnd Ian was a rainbow baby. I really like that term
I didn't know that Kylie and I don't know what you mean by a "rainbow baby". Please explain.
DeleteA baby after a loss.
DeleteI think you mean Frances then. She came between the two ectopic pregnancies.
DeleteOh, yes she is!
DeleteI just read about Meghan and Harry and when I saw your title I thought that was what you were referring to. Either that, or one of your kids was about to make you a grandfather!
ReplyDeleteI think Frances would love to make that happen despite heavy financial considerations - living in London and all that. As for Harry and Meghan, the colour of the royal baby will be interesting.
DeleteI think the baby will be particularly attractive :)
DeleteOne of my friends has just had her second child. She was 39 with the first one and is now 41. Both pregnancies went well, both births were cesarean, both daughters are beautiful and (so far) healthy little girls. My friend and her husband have a good marriage (as far as I can see - I know them both rather well), no financial worries and live in Ludwigsburg, a town not known for a high rate of unemployment, drug abuse or criminal statistics, and we're in a country with free access to health care and education for the children.
ReplyDeleteSome seem to have it all, while others, through no fault of their own, suffer one blow after the other. It is most unfair.
You are right. There's no justice. Some people do have it all and come to think of it I am probably one such person!
DeleteIt seems I frequently learn something from your blog posts, Mr. Pudding. Today it was the word "stonking". I had never heard it before and at first I thought you had misspelled "stinking". But I checked Google Translate and, lo and behold, there it was. Stonking good, Mr. Pudding, stonking good! Thank you for today's grammar lesson.
ReplyDeleteThat's a stoning comment from a stonking fellow. I hope you can slip the word into ordinary conversations at your country club.
DeleteThis book looks like one I would really enjoy - thanks for the summary, YP.
ReplyDeleteEven given that full-term babies can have serious health problems, sometimes I wonder if the ability to save preemies is worth the heartache of lifelong health issues that can result. Sometimes I think medicine has advanced too far for all ages. I hope this does not sound heartless.
Not at all. I agree with you. Sometimes we should accept Nature instead of fighting against it.
DeleteThe big problem is that we have no idea which prem babies will do well and which will have long term problems and every parent wants their kid to be the one who does well
DeleteYou are right Kylie. That's the dilemma.
DeleteYou have certainly been blessed with two amazing children. It is heartbreaking to see those born with physical and mental challenges. But it is also amazing to see how some can accomplish so much despite their challenges. Let's hope the doors of opportunity remain open for such children.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the coming Royal baby goes I will make one easy prediction - the baby will have curly hair!
The baby is bound to be bonny Bonnie!
DeleteLike you my wife and I were very fortunate. One of my God-children (I wasn't always atheist) was Downs Syndrome. I'm not sure how I would have coped had he been ours.
ReplyDeleteNor me Graham. I suspect that if that is the hand you are dealt you make the most of it. So many people do.
DeleteWe are fortunate to have healthy children in many ways. However some of the people who have handicapped children love them and wouldn't have it any other way.
ReplyDeleteThat is true and I think that if you are I had found ourselves in that situation we would have loved them just the same.
DeletePaul's late brother was born with cerebral palsy and was severely handicapped. His mother devoted her life to caring for him. It had repercussions on the whole family.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this Sue. What you have said seems like the tip of an iceberg.
DeleteVery touching post.
ReplyDeleteWhen times are particularly tough (and lately that has been constant rounds of doctors ect plus other challenges that have made me feel What next?? I pull myself up by my bra straps and think "All those people caring for a disabled loved one must wish for time just to regroup and be themselves for half a day" and am very thankful that I too had three healthy children.
Nowadays they try to tell me what to do but I don't have to listen!! NOT in a nursing home yet and while I can get in and out of my MG ..not likely to be
I am sorry to hear that you have been facing health challenges Elle but I applaud your defiant, upbeat attitude. I am pleased that the content of this post resonated with you.
DeleteThankyou sincerely for your kind words YP, they do help (and brought a tear or twenty)... pulling up those straps right now :)
DeleteIt's hard for me to imagine raising a child at all, much less one with the difficulties you describe. Thank god there are dedicated parents who can do it. I suppose when that's the situation that presents itself, parents do whatever they've got to do.
ReplyDeleteA pair of nice looking offspring you have there, Yorkie. :)
ReplyDelete