Aunt Marion has lived there for over thirty years. She divorced her husband twenty five years ago and later he died. She lives there with her fifty year old son John who never left home. And that's another story.
Aunt Marion will be eighty in October and she has no intention of having a funeral or traditional wake. Instead she wanted a summer party with friends and family. An event for the living with chatter and laughter and good food.
We were there with Ian, Frances, Stewart and Little Phoebe. There were perhaps sixty other members of Aunt Marion and therefore Shirley's wider family. I have met all of them before but there are such large time-gaps between family events that I tend to forget many of the names. It can be quite embarrassing. For example, today I called the husband of one of Shirley's older cousins John when his name is Steve.
There was a groaning buffet table in the kitchen filled with savoury delights, followed by summer desserts and plenty of strawberries. Then guests just sat around catching up.
Little Phoebe kept dragging her grandpa away. We visited the church next door three times and she held my hand as though I was the little boy. One time she had a ball with her and she laughed as she spurned my strong advice, "This is the road Phoebe. Cars go by so please don't throw the ball!"
We left around four o'clock for the hour long journey home - along the M180 to the M18 and then a couple of miles north on the M1 to the Sheffield Parkway which takes you right into the heart of the city.
It meant a lot to Shirley to have her immediate family with her at this happy occasion in that cavernous Victorian house.
More and more people are requesting a party at the end of their life. The families are pulling it off like this one.
ReplyDeleteIt's those left behind who should decide in my opinion.
DeleteHaving a summer party, before you die, sounds like a much better idea than a funeral. That is a lovely house and Shirley's aunt must have enjoyed the party so much.
ReplyDeleteYes she did. She loves catering for family parties.
DeleteOne of the biggest downsides of living an itinerant childhood and then settling as far away from Mother England as is possible is the lack of family such as Shirley's. How lovely she is able to catch up with them all.
ReplyDeleteThe sixty who were there were just half of her known extended family. It's certainly a nice feeling for all of them. Connected.
DeleteIt sounds like a good day. I like the idea of celebrating before shuffling off but I also think those who are left behind are entitled to ritualise the loss after a person dies.
ReplyDeleteLittle Phoebe doesn't h ave to think about such things for a long time to come
If Little Phoebe continues to throw balls in the road she won't last a month!
DeleteIt's a very attractive house. The day must have been so nice especially for Shirley, but all there too.
ReplyDeleteIt was very pleasant with different generations. Aunt Marion came up to my son Ian and said, "Are you the vegan?" while thrusting a bowl of olives in his face.
DeleteMuch better than some horrible wake. I hope my family will do that for me too.
ReplyDeleteI suspect they will be dancing on your grave singing "Oh Bla Di Oh Bla Dah!"
DeleteThat is a beautiful house, very large for just two people, and ideal to host gatherings with friends and family.
ReplyDeleteAunt Marion‘s approach to her own mortality is as admirable as it is sensible.
Aunt Marion and her brother Uncle Eddie are the last of seven siblings.
DeleteI've read about Vicarages in fiction novels and they are invariably described as pokey and dark, sometimes damp and badly outfitted, where the poor Vicar must live and be tended to by a housekeeper who is either surly or beloved by all in the village.
ReplyDeleteThe Vicarage you show here is by far the best and what a lovely summer party you all had.
The proportions of that house are massive. Every room is huge compared with our house.
DeleteA splendid day out to build memories.
ReplyDeleteIf all my family got together under similar circumstances, we might fill an old fashioned phone box!
You must be very thin people!
DeleteWhat a beautiful house, just right for a summer party I would think.
ReplyDeleteWe have stipulated in our wills that we shall have no funeral service, just a direct cremation, although a summer party in advance of my death sounds good. I would just need to know when to book it.
I would suggest this month JayCee.
DeleteWhat a beautiful house and ideal for a big family to gather in for a special celebration.
ReplyDeleteIt has four big reception rooms and a massive kitchen too. Plus a reasonably big garden with a massive copper beech tree for shade.
DeleteThey built such houses so well and full of character. I thought of Haworth Parsonage.
ReplyDeleteA house like that must take some heating!
DeleteLooks like a nice place to live.
ReplyDeleteGorgeous home and surroundings.
ReplyDeleteWhat a gorgeous home! I'd love to explore it and the grounds. The party sounds nice, too. Am I correct in thinking Auntie had this party in leiu of a funeral later when she dies? If so, what a great idea!
ReplyDeleteIs Shirley's aunt facing immediate death or did she just want a party while she could still enjoy it? Whatever, I wish her many more years of life in that gorgeous house if that's what she wants.
ReplyDeleteI think there's a little girl who has her granddad wrapped around her darling little finger.
That's quite a grand house! Do tell the story of her son who never left home.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely house! You just don't see houses like that over here.
ReplyDeleteWow! What a huge home. Does she have staff to help her keep the place in good shape? Does Shirley see much of her Aunt at other times of the year?
ReplyDeleteThat is the way to live.
ReplyDeleteThat is the lovely thing about little ones, they love pushing you to exasperation.
ReplyDelete