11 September 2024

Turnip

"Are there any questions?" That is a question that is often put to politicians after they have finished a speech or presentation. Well I have got twenty questions for the fellow I call The Orange Turnip. You know who I mean...
  1. Who ties your neckties?
  2. Have you got a Vietnam Veterans Service tie?
  3. How are your bone spurs nowadays and do they still give you gyp?
  4. What is the least populous state in the USA? (ie. "populous" refers to the number of people who live in the state)
  5. Which do you prefer - a Big Mac or a Burger King "Whopper"? Why?
  6. In which European country was your wife Melania born?
  7. What was the title of the last novel you read?
  8. On which Scottish island was your mother born and raised?
  9. Who do you think was the better president and why - yourself or James Buchanan (1857-1861)?
  10. Why do you think Mrs Harris clearly won Tuesday night's TV debate?
  11. How on earth  did you achieve a Bachelor of Science degree from The University of Pennsylvania in 1968?
  12. Which brand of make-up or concealer do you use to make your face that distinctive orange colour?
  13. Why do often insert President Obama's middle name "Hussain" when you mention him at one of your rambling rallies?
  14. After so many years of trying, why do you think are you still such a poor golfer?
  15. What is the capital of Canada?
  16. Why do you think your hands are so small - could it be genetic?
  17. Why did you encourage the assault on The US Capitol on January 6th 2021?
  18. What do you feel about being a convicted felon?
  19. Have you ever been to "Fido's" - the pet restaurant in Springfield, Ohio?
  20. How does it feel to be the oldest man who has ever stood for the office of President of the United States of America?

Have you got any other tricky questions you would like to put to The Orange Turnip?

37 comments:

  1. Well done! Half of these made me laugh and the other half made me cringe for my country.

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    Replies
    1. Glad to have give you a chuckle Jennifer!

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  2. I would ask him when are you going to go away forever?

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  3. We would like to send him back to Scotland but they don't want him either.

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  4. Good questions but would he answer any of them truthfully.

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  5. Great questions! I would add "why won't you go away and leave us alone"? I think we will never be rid of him until he dies. He never went away, even for an instant after losing the last election. I think he'll hang around, pretending to be relevant and getting his nasty face in the news until he dies.

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    Replies
    1. Trouble is he spawned the ugliness that is The MAGA Mob. I doubt that they will simply evaporate.

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  6. How does he manage to get his head so far up his ass, all the time?

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  7. Do you have any concern at all about most of the world and a high percentage of your own population view you?

    Btw, although married I believe Harris uses Ms rather Mrs. Well, the media does anyway.

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    Replies
    1. Are you asking that question of me or Grumpy Trumpy?

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  8. #11; I'm guessing he paid a lot of money for a certificate that he didn't properly earn.

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    Replies
    1. There's a lot of suspicion regarding his academic "achievements".

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  9. I totally don't get question no. 11 about his small hands.

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    Replies
    1. That was a joke going around during his presidency - there were cartoons and memes about it.

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    2. Sorry, of course I meant question no. 16, but you understood anyway. Thank you for explaining.

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  10. Why do you make a circle with your forefinger and thumb when you gesticulate?

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    Replies
    1. Well spotted! It is the detail that matters.

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  11. I think Red has it down to a fine art. What's the point of asking questions from a liar?

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  12. My question would be: when you lose this time, will you really go away like you promised?

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  13. I echo with what Jennifer said, I laughed at the questions, but then realized that this stuff is real. I wouldn't have believed it ten years ago. And the other thing that makes me feel anxiety is that he still has a large devoted bunch of followers. I just don't get it.

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    Replies
    1. Thing about Trump is that when he was president he was very lazy. Regular long weekends at Mar-a-Lago, golf practice etc..He hardly reads anything. Just a lazy lump going "Blah-blah-blah!"

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  14. When you go to prison, top bunk or lower bunk?

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    Replies
    1. Every night he will be in a different bunk as the other inmates share him around.

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    2. If that's intended as a joke it's not really funny. In any event, judging from accounts I've read of rich people doing time they are still able to do favours outside prison and are likely to be able to enlist ample "protection" inside.

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    3. It depends on your sense of humour.

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  15. Here's another one- What are the names and ages of all your children and grandchildren? Oh. And wife?

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    Replies
    1. He would definitely be stumbling.

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    2. Well he won't remember all of them as he can't remember how to fasten his shoelaces.

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  16. I'm guessing the answer to no. 11 is "Daddy's donations," but I'm not sure.

    That is a terrifying illustration! Looks like a monster from a Stephen King novel.

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