3 April 2026

Politics

Pudding Party  General Secretary  Grace Honeyman at the recent rally in Sheffield

A new political party has just been launched in Great Britain. It has been under construction for several months but now the curtain has been flung back to reveal The Pudding Party. Surely this will be the answer to all the disenchantment with politics, to dismissive electors who refuse to vote or simply cannot be bothered, to dumb moaning minnies who grumble "They're all the same!", to Nigel Farage and the Nazi Party Reform Party, to Zack Polanski and The Eat-Your-Greens.

Arise The Puddings! Your time has come... But every political party needs policies and The Pudding Party currently has just five headline policies to attract voters to our noble cause.

1) It will be the law that when it is your birthday you are entitled to an extra day off work or school. Retired people  will receive free bags of frozen Yorkshire puddings.

2) All vaping retail outlets will be shut down and vaping in any public places will be outlawed - attracting hefty fines, short prison sentences or flogging.

3) The voting records of American visitors to Great Britain to be carefully checked before entry decisions are made. Any visitors found guilty of voting for Donald J. Trump to be sent back in disgrace - without leave for appeal.

4) Poetry appreciation, artistic creativity, music making, pottery and Nature to become the lead subjects in every school curriculum. Mathematics to be resigned to history  as all number work can now happen on electronic calculators.

5) Desperate homeless people will be bussed to large second homes around the country that happen to remain empty most of the year - such as Sandringham House in Norfolk. There they will live comfortably with the cost of food and other basic needs met by the millionaire and billionaire classes who will unfortunately have no choice in the matter.

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Of course The Pudding Party has numerous other policies in the pipeline and naturally  there is the important issue of how handsomely the leader of The Pudding Party will be rewarded for his wise representation.

As yet, we have no idea who that leader will be but he could well be the bloke I sometimes see in the mirror. The one who regularly looks back at me as if to say, "What's it all about...Alfie?"

If you are interested in joining The Pudding Party you must first suggest  one extra policy that the party should seriously consider adopting.

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