Arise The Puddings! Your time has come... But every political party needs policies and The Pudding Party currently has just five headline policies to attract voters to our noble cause.
1) It will be the law that when it is your birthday you are entitled to an extra day off work or school. Retired people will receive free bags of frozen Yorkshire puddings.
2) All vaping retail outlets will be shut down and vaping in any public places will be outlawed - attracting hefty fines, short prison sentences or flogging.
3) The voting records of American visitors to Great Britain to be carefully checked before entry decisions are made. Any visitors found guilty of voting for Donald J. Trump to be sent back in disgrace - without leave for appeal.
4) Poetry appreciation, artistic creativity, music making, pottery and Nature to become the lead subjects in every school curriculum. Mathematics to be resigned to history as all number work can now happen on electronic calculators.
5) Desperate homeless people will be bussed to large second homes around the country that happen to remain empty most of the year - such as Sandringham House in Norfolk. There they will live comfortably with the cost of food and other basic needs met by the millionaire and billionaire classes who will unfortunately have no choice in the matter.
⦿
Of course The Pudding Party has numerous other policies in the pipeline and naturally there is the important issue of how handsomely the leader of The Pudding Party will be rewarded for his wise representation.
As yet, we have no idea who that leader will be but he could well be the bloke I sometimes see in the mirror. The one who regularly looks back at me as if to say, "What's it all about...Alfie?"
If you are interested in joining The Pudding Party you must first suggest one extra policy that the party should seriously consider adopting.
Easy. Everyone must make their own Y/P, those frozen ones are like eating cardboard.
ReplyDeleteYour suggestion will be put to The Policy Committee.
DeleteDaily walks.
ReplyDeleteDaily hugs for everyone.
Compassion and kindness, mandatory.
Tax for wealthy people will be much higher, no hiding your assets.
I hope that the hugs will not go too far. We don't want folk getting the wrong idea.
DeleteThere are too many men leading political parties. Appoint a woman, or transgender at least and not a retired old codger.
ReplyDeleteThe leader's remuneration will be linked to the pay rate for nurses, in pounds not percentage.
The last suggestion has been laughed off the table by The Policy Committee.
DeleteI wonder if America will every get political party that could make dent in our election.
ReplyDeleteYes. They are called The Democrats - soon to be rebranded as The Pudding Party of America.
DeleteFirst time commenter. You must say I love you (or at least smile) to one human or / and one furry friend at least one time a week. Preferably three times a week.
ReplyDeleteWelcome into the spider's web! Will the "furry friends" include rodents?
DeleteI can see this as a run away set of policies. Something for everybody.
ReplyDelete"Something for everybody" is not a well-thought through policy Comrade Red.
DeleteAll leafblowers and similar unnecessary and noisy devices are forcibly replaced by brooms and rakes, which do the job just as efficiently but without the negative impact on the environment, while at the same time giving whoever uses them a fitness boost.
ReplyDeleteLinked to this - wives to be barred from using electric vacuum cleaners when husbands are in the home.
DeleteHow about, If the husband is in the home and the house is in need of vacuuming the husband must do it?
DeleteHusbands can vacuum.
DeleteAll children must be taught to read and write and more importantly, how to spell. All persons, including politicians must do at least one kind thing per day.
ReplyDeleteI would join the Pudding Party! I could get into the UK because I have never voted for the orange monster.
ReplyDeleteWasn’t there a pudding club
ReplyDeletePerhaps American Pudding???
ReplyDeleteI would definitely support the Pudding Party based on your policies for second homes and billionaires alone! I would definitely have been much happier in school if mathematics had been banished.
ReplyDeleteI think there should be punishment for frivolously throwing away a living and perfectly salvageable houseplant.