18 August 2010


Since I began this blogging lark back in June 2005, I have composed 647 different posts. This is the 648th. You'd have thought that I might have exhausted the medium and that there couldn't possibly be anything left to blog about but you'd be wrong.

I sat down at this keyboard this morning and thought to myself - right let's blog baby! But what to blog about? Perhaps I could blog about Aravind Adiga the author of two excellent novels I've read this year - "White Tiger" and "Between the Assassinations". Perhaps I could reflect on Hull City's abysmal performance at Millwall last Saturday or tell you about the time I was locked in a police cell during my student days. My recent dream about tackling a burglar, how to give up smoking or how to make black bean sauce from scratch. You see - the subjects one can blog about are almost endless. So - just for a change - let's make a very silly post.

Funny word "blog" isn't it? As regular visitors know, I sometimes wax lyrical and produce poems on different topics and of differing merit. It's something I have been doing since the age of seven. Occasionally, my poems might rhyme. Instead of hurting one's brain to dredge up possible rhymes one can now bypass that painful process by accessing websites that offer you possible rhymes. One such site is "Rhyme Zone".

I thought - well what does "blog" rhyme with? As well as "bog" and "fog", the search coughed up two words I'd never heard of - "haug" and "zaugg". As far as I can gather, the former is a Norwegian surname and the latter a Swiss family name. Such rich poetic potential! The search also brought up a long list of different dogs, including:-

attack dog, badger dog, carriage dog, chilli dog, devil dog, harpoon dog, hearing dog, hunting dog, little dog, maltese dog, monkey dog, prairie dog and sausage dog.

So hear goes:-
My name is Mr Haug
And welcome to my blog
I'm writing it in smog
With my faithful maltese dog
While following a hog
Across a wide Swiss bog
We encountered William Zaugg
With a flagon of strong grog
Amidst the swirling fog
As a tarahumara frog
Croaked beneath a log

Eat your heart out Simon Armitage! Seamus Heaney! Ted Hughes! That's real poetry. Can't think of a title for it though. Perhaps "Og" which according to "The Urban Dictionary" means "someone who has been around, an old school gangster". Very appropriate methinks.
Maltese puppy. Awwww!


  1. Og, Gog, and Magog went to sea
    In a beautiful pea-green* boat;
    Although they had honey
    And plenty of money
    They spent their days flogging a goat.
    When they were done flogging
    They earned money logging
    In the land where the bong-tree grows,
    Then bought a big ship
    For their long return trip.
    What became of the goat, no one knows.

    *Katherine DeChevalle, please note.

  2. Oh, my! The Blogland tree of life is sprouting madness yet again... It's roots spread far and wide, that's obvious! lol :)

  3. Elizabeth1:44 pm

    That's an achievement, old mate.

    After such a hard slog
    To find rhymes for your blog,
    You deserve a break
    With time to take
    A lingering snog
    And a cool pint of grog.

    Like a finely, aged wine,
    Not cloudy or corked,
    Your visitors await the 6-4-9.

  4. Whoopie-doo! Everybody's going crazy. Lord Brague of Canton not only are you an expert grandfather, Obama declaimer and organist but now you add skilful poetry to your repertoire.
    JINKSY "Sprouting madness". Great name for a band.
    ELIZABETH "A lingering snog"? Lovely. But where does the 649 go to? I hope Fraisthorpe via Barmston.

  5. Elizabeth2:53 pm

    We both know what happens at Fraisthorpe...perhaps 649 could be dedicated to illuminating your other visitors? You'll need a good magnifying lens to photograph the evidence on a day as cold as today 'though. x

  6. ELIZABETH What happens in Fraisthorpe stays in Fraisthorpe.

  7. Thank you Robert.

    YP. Next up you'll be singing "Knees Up Mother Brown" with two straws up your nose and your Y-fronts on your head.

  8. A fine literary analogue with splendid dialogue. As an epilogue, how about an eggnog in a synagogue?

  9. KATHERINE We rarely have New Zealand theme parties up in Yorkshire.
    SIR WINSTON SHOT-PARROTE Excellent! An eggnog in a synagogue? I'd rather have a bacon sandwich!


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