28 August 2021

Girth

29 comments:

  1. Ha! I have no need of Professor Pudding's help. I have added blubber all by myself without even trying.
    Now, where's that leftover lemon drizzle cake ....

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    1. It's in his lordship's safe. He knows what you are like.

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  2. That's great! Love it! But sadly, I do not need instructions.

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    1. Perhaps you can model for my next series of ads?

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  3. Thank you, but I'm doing a good enough job on my own.

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    1. I am sure you are already one of my clients Margaret.

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  4. Ha ha ha . . . but as I could write a series of books on this myself, no deal :)

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    1. One of the benefits of blubber is that it increases survival prospects during a time of food shortages.

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  5. I love everything about your advert. Unfortunately I already possess the excessive abundance you offer so must decline the invitation.

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    1. A bit of extra padding prevents injury when falls happen.

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  6. This is like those ads in the back of "Boy's Life" that used to promise to help you bulk up so you could fight off the bullies who kick sand in your face at the beach. Except those were for Charles Atlas and thus involved exercise. So, yeah, never mind. Not the same at all.

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    1. I see where you are coming from with that connection Steve.

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  7. Oh, you are sooooo bad! I hope Professor Pudding looses all his money that he spent on adverts. I hope he gets not one idiotic student!! I hope his sweet, patient wife who puts up with so much will finally throw him in the chamber where the traffic cops used to live.

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    1. I confess that I am a bad guy. I can even cackle eerily like a Mafia leader.

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  8. Oh wow!!! - not THE Yorkshire Pudding? I can't wait to sign up for it!

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    1. Send me the £25 indicated a.s.a.p.. Thanks in anticipation.

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    2. Well I would YP, but I've got to finish this diet first - sorry...

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  9. If I can get serious for a moment.

    There is a form of mental and physical abuse which turns on obesity.
    Men entrap lonely young women who are struggling with food issues.
    The women are then encouraged (force fed) to over-eat, mostly saturated fats etc.

    The male abusers call this *growing a girl* and share information via the internet.
    A woman in America tried to rescue her sister from such an abusive relationship.
    She failed, only to learn that the law was powerless to intervene.
    Her sister no longer left the home of her abuser, she just food-binged.

    I would break the jaw of any man who *grows a girl* and call it a good day's work.
    I wonder if such abuse occurs here: I watched a TV documentary about it years back.

    One young woman had put on so much weight she had to be moved by a crane in her bedroom, and still her boyfriend was encouraging her to eat and eat.
    A cardiovascular surgeon interviewed said these girls would not live long.

    Haggerty

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    1. But there are also young men who become morbidly obese. I wonder how the genders compare on this. Be assured that I have never "grown a girl" so please do not break my jaw!

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    2. I have always felt desperately sorry for women and men with weight anxiety. Somehow I escaped the burger and fast food culture.

      I am a child of post-war enlightenment and enjoyed a home diet of porridge, potatoes, fruit + veg, chicken or lentil soup, fish, stewing steak etc.
      I burn off calories easily but I know people go through hell to lose pounds.

      As for obesity abuse, the psychopathology is about male power and dominance.
      The men in the documentary wore the mask of normality but were sadists.
      Men are more likely to abuse a woman for putting on weight.

      *If we don't focus on why people overeat, we will never solve obesity.*
      Maia Szalavitz. Guardian online September 2017.
      Haggerty

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    3. I was once in a men's lavatory by a freeway in a Massachusetts when I found myself trapped by enormous blubbery men. They made me look like a rake. The question of why there are so many fat people in the western world is indeed an interesting one and I am sure the answer is less straightforward than some folk might think.

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  10. I don't think you are one a winner here. Most of us are quite competent at putting on weight without instructions.

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    1. On my programme you can become fat in the right way!

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  11. Oh ya! I can do this by myself with out spending $25..!

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    1. Drat! You seem to have seen through my cunning plot!

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  12. Old adverts in magazines are an interesting source of information, telling us a lot about how society in general felt back then about certain aspects of life; the role of women, what was considered luxury to be desired, the proportions of work versus leisure and so on.

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    1. You are right. The adverts reflect the societies and the times they belonged to.

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  13. Oh, I've been waiting all my life for someone to put together concise directions on how to gain weight. So that if I don't do that, I won't gain weight, right?

    Perfect!

    In re: to Haggerty's comments, I have to say this: My mother was morbidly obese, and it was a hard thing to watch. Looking at it from that vantage point made one thing perfectly clear to me. People who are that obese are very unhappy people. Unable to deal with (or in my mother's case, even admit) the problem(s), they eat. In the end, my mother was heavy enough that her knees could not support her, and she became pretty much housebound. Yet she still wanted to go out to eat multiple times a week at the all you can eat Chinese restaurant and always wanted someone to go with out with her. I said, "I can't mom. I'm afraid for you." That led to a discussion that turned into some screaming and crying. Things were never, ever the same for us. They hadn't been good to begin with, but...

    Whenever I see a morbidly obese person, I feel very sorry for them, even though I know that there is nothing kindness and understanding will do.

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  14. I have a similar course. A one hundred percent, failure proof way, to avoid speeding tickets. Please send $100 for more info. Pixie/Lily

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Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.

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