©Richard Wilkinson
Flotsam and jetsam. Ever since I first heard these partner words I have been fond of them. Flotsam is defined as debris in the ocean that was not deliberately thrown overboard, often as the result of a shipwreck or accident. Jetsam describes debris that was deliberately thrown overboard by the crew of a ship in distress, most often to lighten the ship's load.
It is an easy jump of understanding to take these two terms and use them metaphorically in relation to human memory. As we live our lives we make potential memories every day. If we could remember everything our brains would overload and might possibly explode.
In reality it is of course impossible to remember everything so a continuous sifting process happens day by day, year by year. We seem to have no conscious ability to retain or discard memories. Our brains do it in spite of us.
I think of what floats upon the surface of our memory as the flotsam and jetsam of life. It's what remains when the vast bulk of potential memory sinks to the ocean floor.
Sometimes I wonder why I can remember this and not that. Why have so many key moments disappeared and yet I can vividly remember seemingly insignificant moments? I have often contemplated the strange process of remembering. Sometimes I think it's about signposting - in the sense that one's memory picks a range of symbolic scenes or fragments that point to who we really are as individuals - to our essential psychological being.
It can be interesting to compare our filtered memories of past events with someone else who was there at the time. When you get right down to the nitty gritty, you find that the other person's internal editing processes have left them with a very different picture from the one that floats on your own brain's surface.
In a lovely song, Barbra Streisand once sang:-
Memories
May be beautiful and yet
What's too painful to remember
We simply to choose to forget
But that's not how human memory works. We cannot guide the memory at will. Some things will float and maybe get cast up upon some shore but it is, I contend, a random process over which we have almost no control.
I find it interesting how a song or a smell can bring back a specific memory like a bolt of lightning. I feel like the memories are all still in there... I just can't control the retrieval process.
ReplyDeleteUnder the spell of a hypnotherapist, memories may surge to the surface that we cannot recall when fully conscious - so maybe you are right Kelly.
DeleteI was waiting for the second last paragraph. When I visit my brothers and talk about things that went on in the family there are quite often some very different versions. I often wonder how accurate our memories are. I have experienced another issue...trans-global amnesia. This is when the brain doesn't make new memories. It's a form of epilepsy in adult seniors. Mine is well controlled by medication.
ReplyDeleteUntil I read this comment, I had never heard of "trans-global amnesia" Red.
DeleteIt's certainly true about different people remembering things differently. My siblings and I all hold different memories of the same happenings. It has to do with the way individuals experience things or are affected by them.
ReplyDeleteI find that some people's remembering accentuates the positive while some other people are drawn to negativity or the bad news stuff.
DeleteEverything about the brain and how our minds work is fascinating! I have read quite a few books about neuroscience, and there seems to be a general understanding among scientists: The more we learn about brain functions, the more questions arise.
ReplyDeleteMuch of what is going on inside our skulls is not entirely clear yet (making it all the more fascinating). But it is clear that shared memories of the same moment will always be a little different. Ask any police officer who has ever had to collect statements from witnesses - they regularly despair about those differing and sometimes contradictory memories. Was that car blue or red? Was it a man or a woman, did they do this before or after they said that?
Flotsam and jetsam are fitting terms, and I like your signposting analogy.
Thank you for this thoughtful comment Meike. I would like to read an informed book about the business of remembering but written in inviting lay people's terms.
DeleteSome painful memories just refuse to go away, however much I wish them to.
ReplyDeleteThe mind can be cruel as it may cause us to replay painful or unhappy scenes over and over again. If only we could press the rewind button and get back to that unhappy event in order to erase it.
DeleteIt's amazing how inaccurate our memories can be. I am amazed when I compare notes with one of my siblings about our childhoods and they often remember things completely differently.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know the actual definitions of flotsam and jetsam. I had a vague idea that one was natural and one man-made, but I guess that's not right!
One of the things that has been so very interesting for me lately is to discover a Facebook page dedicated to the area I lived in as a young child. I had SO many very distinct memories and I have come to realize that they were indeed based on reality. That was gratifying. But the memories I have that happened in my own house growing up have been proclaimed false by my brother and my mother too, when she was alive. And yet- I know. They happened. Sometimes I wish that I, too, could have locked them out but I am not made that way, I suppose.
ReplyDeleteAs someone who has often kept a diary, I've found it surprising how much I do remember. Maybe writing it down helped consolidate it. There is other stuff I don't remember, though. And expanding it into a written memoir is always something of a reconstruction, probably unreliable. I've no doubt that others' memories of events have differences.
ReplyDeleteI always think of memory as one of those glittering silver multi faceted lights that twirled on the dance floor as you danced. The light catching a particular facet. I find old memories suddenly float across my mind without any thought of them before. It is a bit eerie contemplating the inside of one's head;)
ReplyDeleteWhen reminiscing with my mom or daughters about shared times, it's odd what they remember versus what I do. (or don't) That fascinates me. We were all there yet our perspectives and remembrances are very different.
ReplyDeleteInteresting post!
ReplyDeleteMiss Streisand's song is from her 1973 movie, The Way We Were.
ReplyDeleteIt was written by Alan and Marilyn Bergman and Marvin Hamlisch.
In 1931 Jerome Kern had a song in his Broadway musical, The Cat and the Fiddle:
*Try to forget, won't you, all you have meant to me ... *
Elisabeth Welch (1904-2003) did a lovely recording of that song.
She began her career in New York (1923) then sang cabaret in Paris and London, so her diction had a distinctive Anglo-European ring.
Benny Green would play her on his Sunday afternoon Radio 2 show.
*Elisabeth Welch interview 7/6/1980 - Town Hall Theatre (Official).*
YouTube.
*Funes the Memorious* (Borges) is the story of a man falling from his horse, and suffering a head injury which leaves him with total recall.
He remembers every moment of every day of his life ...
Autistic savants are said to have extraordinary memories.
I have a very good long term memory which probably makes me a little more nostalgic than some. Several years ago my high school graduating class celebrated a 25th anniversary. Near the end of the reception, I looked over at the bar and noticed a guy from my graduating class standing by himself. I recalled him being a bit of a loner in high school and my first thought was that I probably hadn't been friendly enough to him back in the day. It was that wave of guilt that propelled me over to him where I launched into the most cheerful conversation I could muster. It turns out he barely remembered me. Not only that, he drunkenly snapped my bra as I walked away. I no longer carry high school guilt.
ReplyDeleteThe Maroon 5 group wrote and recorded a wonderful song called 'Memories' YP.
ReplyDeleteA year or two ago when I had a bad cough I was taking cough suppressants at bedtime and one of the side effects was very vivid memories coming back, all night long. I didn't sleep much but the memory recall was amazing, things I had long forgotten.
ReplyDeleteI think the reason we remember painful memories is our brain's way of protecting us. Remember this? Don't do this again.
You are so right YP!
ReplyDeleteI've sometimes found, too, that a long ago memory has, quite unbidden, floated into my consciousness. Quite often it's left me either thinking what triggered it, or where did it come from. Sometimes I doubt if my recollection is correct. There doesn't seem to be anyone left, my husband, a parent or cousin - (I have no siblings) who can confirm or deny if my memory is true. On occasions it's most infuriating!