Today something terrible happened while I was walking south of Bollington in Cheshire. It happened in the Derbyshire town of Chesterfield which is just eight miles south of Sheffield.
It happened in the maternity unit of the local hospital. And yes, you may have guessed it already. A baby died.
The father is someone I have known since he was four years old. In primary school, he was my son's best friend and he came to this house countless times to play or to eat.
The last time I saw him - which was about a month ago - I said, "I am looking forward to seeing your baby James. I hope all goes well and that you have a beautiful, healthy child in your arms. It won't be long now".
They didn't want to know the baby's gender before he or she was born. That would be a beautiful surprise as it has been for zillions of parents through the ages.
James's girlfriend went into labour on Friday afternoon. The unborn child was judged to have been growing healthily for forty weeks. But this morning, for whatever reason, it was announced that the baby had died in his/her mother's womb - fully developed and ready to live. However - it was not to be. The dreams, the imaginings and the hopes were over.
I suspect that by now the lifeless babe will have been coaxed out of the womb by medical means. It is such a shit, such a bugger, such a tragedy and I feel awful for James and the lady he usually refers to as his "missus". She was going to be a brilliant mother.
Even the early death of a foetus through miscarriage is tragic but to carry a baby full term and lose it is horrendous. I will go to sleep tonight thinking of that baby and wake thinking about him or her. James and his lady would have loved the unborn child entirely and with all their hearts. What more can I say?
R.I.P.
Today. The babe was delivered. Never to say a word nor walk a single step nor even breathe a breath but she will be Hayley forever.
So sad. My heart goes out to the parents and family.
ReplyDeleteAll good people will think the same.
DeleteHeart-breaking.
ReplyDeleteThat is all we can say.
DeleteI can't imagine the pain. That poor couple.
ReplyDeleteJames is almost forty. It will be interesting to see if, in the course of time, they try for a second baby.
DeleteForty is not too old, my James was forty one when the twins were born. But they will need time first to grieve, and that takes a while.
DeleteMy heart breaks for your young friends. I hope they receive the best and most compassionate care in this enormous loss.
ReplyDeleteHospital systems can be unknowingly brutal
It is too early to say if any professionals carry some blame.
DeleteTheir grief will be such an enormous weight to carry. How terribly sad.
ReplyDeleteFor the rest of their lives they will think of her - the daughter they lost.
DeleteIt is one of the worst things I can imagine to happen. And it still happens all over the world, all the time, in spite of all the medical progress and all the care a pregnant woman takes.
ReplyDeleteSuccessful births are never certain.
DeleteOh no! That is the saddest thing that can happen.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that that shadow never fell across our lives.
DeleteThat is terrible. I'm so sorry for them.
ReplyDeleteThe loss will fill their thoughts. It will take a long time to heal.
DeleteThat happened to my sister. It was very upsetting. It was a boy and I kept pressing for her to call him Andrew. It was not to be and her last chance at having second child.
ReplyDeleteSo sad.
DeleteHeartbreaking - my thoughts are with the poor couple. YP, please pass on our condolences to them.
ReplyDeleteI don't really want them to know that I have been blogging about their private horror.
DeleteTo lose a baby at any stage of pregnancy is upsetting enough, but to go full term and lose it must be devastating. My heart goes out to the couple.
ReplyDelete"Devastating" is the right word.
DeleteCondolences to all, it will be a hard grief for many.
ReplyDeleteBless them.
DeleteThis is heart breaking, and they will never get over it. It happened to close friends we met at ante-natal classes when expecting our firstborn. One week near the due dates they weren't there, and they stopped attending. After a couple of weeks my wife had the good sense to try to get in touch. The baby had died nearly full-term. It was awful that the mum had to go through the birth knowing that. She later lost another, earlier. More positively, with careful medical monitoring, they have since had two now-grown children, but they still remember the son that should have grown up and gone through school with our son.
ReplyDeleteExpected joy and fulfilment turned to tears and disbelief.
DeleteThis is terrible news. I'm reminded of when Marla lost baby Alice. It's such a cruel thing. My condolences to the parents.
ReplyDeleteSweet Alice now joined by Hayley.
DeleteTruly- there are no words.
ReplyDeleteNone.
DeleteSo sad.
ReplyDeleteYes.
DeleteThat's awful, Neil. How sad for that family.
ReplyDeleteIt would have been the making of James.
DeleteThat really is very sad. I cannot imagine the heartbreak they must be experiencing. We don't know how lucky we are to have escaped such a tragedy.
ReplyDeleteThere but for the grace of God go any of us Cro.
Deleteif Jaycee is reading this, I have managed to delete your blog and all others I follow when trying to change Tasker Dunham's new location. Please can I have access to your blog again.
ReplyDeleteLet me know if you do not re-connect with JayCee and I will message her. She is hosting Australian visitors right now so has not been active in the blogosphere.
DeleteHow utterly heartbreaking for all who loved baby Hayley.
ReplyDeleteAnd those who were about to love her.
DeleteTragic story. It's such a sudden loss.
ReplyDeleteSo very unexpected. The baby's room had been painted ready and there is a cot and cuddly toys.
DeleteSuch an awful thing to happen and absolutely heart-breaking for the parents. The same thing happened to a schoolfriend of my younger son, his fiancee gave birth to their baby and sadly the baby died shortly after and then, tragically, the mother died too. I don't know that he would ever get over something this devastating.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for the parents; and the loss of a child always casts a shadow over extended family and friends as well. ♥
ReplyDelete