Once upon a time, when professional footballers upon this island were virtually all born and raised here, a certain congratulatory chant was always easy to adapt. To the tune of the Cuban patriot song , "Guantanamera", it went like this:
One **** ******!
There's only one **** ******!
One **** ******!
There's only one **** ******!
Yes, one Bobby Charlton, one Jimmy Greaves, one Norman Hunter or over at my beloved Hull City - one Ken Wagstaff, one Chris Chilton and one Ian Butler - after whom my son Ian was named (even though I never told the wife!).
Nowadays, the names of players in the English Premier League and in the English Football League may not be anything like the simple and familiar British names of yore. It might be more challenging or even impossible to adapt the old "Guantanamera" tune.
Take Chelsea for example. They have a player called Carney Chukwuemeka and Liverpool have a Hungarian player called Dominik Szoboszlai. Arsenal have Oleksandr Zinchenko and Amario Cozier-Duberry but the most challenging player name of all time must belong to a Dutchman who played for Hull City - Johannes Vennegoor of Hesselink. Imagine the crowd chanting that...
One Johannes Vennegoor of Hesselink!
There's only one Johannes Vennegoor of Hesselink!
One Johannes Vennegoor of Hesselink!
There's only one Johannes Vennegoor of Hesselink!
Fortunately perhaps, Johannes Vennegoor of Hesselink, now forty five years old, hardly ever played well enough to attract such acclaim, scoring just three goals in thirty one appearances.
By the way, the mighty Tigers (Hull City) beat Cardiff City by three goals to nil yesterday afternoon and now sit fifth in the Championship table after twenty one games. Furthermore, and for your utter amazement, I have written about football chants before - go here.
Football fans have been doing the same here:
ReplyDelete"Ein Rudi Völler
es gibt nur ein(en) Rudi Völler
ein Rudi Vööööölller
es gibt nur ein(en) Rudi Völler".
With longer names, it is easy enough to find abbreviations or an affectionate nickname, I should think.
It's funny with these things, isn't it, how someone starts them and then they become part of the established culture of, in this case, football.
Yes. The origins of chants can be quite mysterious. At the very outset it must be just one fan who sparks the chant into life - and then it takes off - frequently for years and years. Did you fancy Rudi Völler?
DeleteCertainly not!!! Never have been a football fan anyway, and his hairdo alone would have been enough to send me running in the opposite direction.
DeleteWith three exclamation marks your antipathy towards poor Rudi is made very clear indeed!!!
DeleteDid you crop the the footballer's bum out of the photo? Spoilt sport. As for the rest, blah blah. I think I heard Australia beat Pakistan in the first cricket test. I wonder if that's a good thing.
ReplyDeleteNo. I did not crop out Johannes Vennegoor of Hesselink's bottom just to deprive you of a dose of lustful titillation! By the way, which football team do you support in Melbourne? Melbourne City, Melbourne Victory or Western United?
DeleteMelbourne Heart, whatever that became.
DeleteThe best players, who ever they are, make the team.
ReplyDeleteYour team is about to lose its stalwart of a captain.
DeleteYou mean to say that someone with your sense of rhyme and meter is losing ability to lead the crowd? If he were to play against Hull you could try:
ReplyDeleteVennegoor of Hesselink is 45 years old,
Vennegoor of Hesselink is 45 years old,
Vennegoor of Hesselink is 45 years old,
And he aint gonna score no more.
He has a son who is also a professional footballer over in The Netherlands - Lucas Vennegoor of Hesselink. Let's hope he doesn't hitch up with a woman - requiring a double barrelled surname!
DeleteOK, that gave me a good laugh. I think they'd have to reduce him to initials: "One JVH! There's only one JVH!"
ReplyDeleteWhat a nice, simple solution!
DeleteMy 8 year old grandson is quite the soccer player. One game he had 5 goals!
ReplyDeleteExcellent! But in England we call soccer - football Ellen!
DeleteThis is the kind of profound post that makes you think all day and even comment on twice. Where is Hesselink and why does his name contain the English 'Of' rather than 'Van'. The answers are in Guardian article. Apparently, the Dutch, "of" translates as "or" in English, and his name reflects a marriage between the Hesselink and Vennegoor families when they did not want to lose either name. So in English he is actually "Vennegoor Or Hesselink". I wonder if they argues about which should come first.
ReplyDeleteThe names are as confusing as the sport.
ReplyDelete