"O God, I could be bounded in a nut shell and count myself
a king of infinite space,
were it not that I have bad dreams."
- Hamlet Act II scene ii
9 December 2023
Update
Remember my old mate Bert? He was 87 years old on November 24th. Of course he had a fall in his house back in early July and was then in hospital for almost a month. He had broken his hip - an injury which required surgery.
For four and a half months Bert has been housebound. He has a walking frame and he cannot get upstairs. His bedroom is now in the front room of his terraced house and he uses a commode for his daily "discharges". Fortunately, his 55 year old son Philip is able to act as his live-in carer.
However, Philip is a football safety steward and every two weeks he spends five hours at Sheffield United's football ground - Bramall Lane. He was there today as United were playing Brentford in a Premier League fixture. I knew that Bert would be on his own all afternoon so I went over to see him and stayed in his house for a couple of hours.
I was able to make him a mug of coffee and a snack. I had also brought over a couple of bottles of beer for him, a banana, a chocolate roll and a bag of cheese and onion crisps (American: chips).
Bert's house
He finds it very difficult to use the TV remote even though his son has helpfully made a big drawing of it with arrows pointing to the vital buttons. I played around with it and was able to get "YouTube" on screen. Then I searched for a couple of Bert's favourite songs that he used to sing in our local pub.
I was able to locate "Whispering Grass" by The Ink Spots, "We'll Meet Again" by Vera Lynn and his most favourite of favourites - "Hev Yew Gotta Loight, Boy?" by Allan Smethurst - a.k.a. The Singing Postman.
It's a novelty song that was a hit in this country in 1966. Sung in a Norfolk dialect, it concerns a relationship in which the need to light cigarettes seemed to be ever-present. The object of the postman's affections was one Molly Windley, his "little nicotine girl". It's got to be one of the weirdest songs ever by one of the most unlikely pop stars and if you are not English you may struggle to understand it. But it's a song that always brightened Bert's face.
I left him after five o' clock watching "Crocodile Dundee" but here's "Hev Yew Gotta Loight, Boy?" Don't have nightmares.
So, really?? I listened to this "song" a couple of times before I thought to myself, "WTF"? I really like it, but how has it survived this long?? p.s. that girl seems a lot like me!!"
Good on you for going over to visit Bert and bring him some treats. they really appreciate a few things. When I visit my friend Mike , I'll take some fruit.
I am glad you were able to spend time with Bert. The song made me laugh and the old reel to reel brough back a lot of memories. Can you imagine a song and clip like that making it today?
Exactly a year ago we would meet up in the local pub once or twice a week for beer and idle conversation and at the end of the evening he would often sing.
For a moment there I thought you were going to give us sad news about Bert, when his photo appeared on my blogger dashboard. It can‘t be easy for him or his son, and I am sure your visit was much appreciated.
My Mum was finding the remote difficult in her 90s and I remember taping bits of paper over all the buttons that she didn't need to touch.....it was quite a job......so many that you never need!!
It's good to hear positive news about Bert and in spite of the setbacks, he seems to be coping with help from his son. Do you think he will be able to join you at the pub again? I remember the song too - very "uncool" in those days. A novelty as you say, along with Benny Hill's "Ernie, the fastest milkman in the west"!
Bert will never be able to walk up to our local pub again. Besides, I have pretty much stopped going in there myself. Some time ago, I decided to cut my beer drinking right down. And yes, I remember Ernie.
I was worried that Bert had died. It's hard getting old and hard dying, it takes so long. It's like watching dominoes in slow motion, as first one thing and then another starts to go wrong, causing a cascade of events. I'm glad you're able to visit him and I'm sure he enjoys your visits very much. I liked the Singing Postman, reminded me of Woody Guthrie.
Nice that you could spend some time with Bert and bring a bit of the pub back home to him. I've never heard that song and indeed I need subtitles to understand the words!
I listened to the song then went to the All-Knowing Google and found the lyrics and after reading them I could see why Bert chuckled at that old song. You're a good friend, Neil.
Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.
So, really?? I listened to this "song" a couple of times before I thought to myself, "WTF"? I really like it, but how has it survived this long?? p.s. that girl seems a lot like me!!"
ReplyDeleteYou mean you are a heavy smoker Donna? Somehow I never thought of you that way.
DeleteYou certainly are broadening my musical repertoire this week, Neil! I like this one! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteIt is such a silly song but it tends to stick in your head.
DeleteGood on you for going over to visit Bert and bring him some treats. they really appreciate a few things. When I visit my friend Mike , I'll take some fruit.
ReplyDeleteIt's not easy being housebound and increasingly confused.
DeleteI am glad you were able to spend time with Bert.
ReplyDeleteThe song made me laugh and the old reel to reel brough back a lot of memories. Can you imagine a song and clip like that making it today?
Nice of you to do that for your friend, and his son.
ReplyDeleteYou're a good egg, Mr. Yorkshire.
Exactly a year ago we would meet up in the local pub once or twice a week for beer and idle conversation and at the end of the evening he would often sing.
DeleteI listened, but ugh! those fake claws. I'm glad you go to visit Bert and help him with things.
ReplyDeleteFake claws? They are stylish and sophisticated nail extensions that make men's hearts flutter.
DeleteThanks for the update on Bert. I bet he loves your visits
ReplyDeleteApart from his small family, I am the only one who goes to see him.
DeleteFor a moment there I thought you were going to give us sad news about Bert, when his photo appeared on my blogger dashboard. It can‘t be easy for him or his son, and I am sure your visit was much appreciated.
ReplyDeleteHis ex-wife Pat who lives two miles away also plays a bit part in his life.
DeleteMy Mum was finding the remote difficult in her 90s and I remember taping bits of paper over all the buttons that she didn't need to touch.....it was quite a job......so many that you never need!!
ReplyDeleteTelevisions used to be very straightforward. There was an ON/OFF button and that was pretty much it.
DeleteYour visit must have been a welcome distraction for Bert if he has housebound for so long.
ReplyDeleteI have been visiting once every couple of weeks since he returned home from hospital. His face does light up.
DeleteIt's good to hear positive news about Bert and in spite of the setbacks, he seems to be coping with help from his son. Do you think he will be able to join you at the pub again?
ReplyDeleteI remember the song too - very "uncool" in those days. A novelty as you say, along with Benny Hill's "Ernie, the fastest milkman in the west"!
Bert will never be able to walk up to our local pub again. Besides, I have pretty much stopped going in there myself. Some time ago, I decided to cut my beer drinking right down. And yes, I remember Ernie.
DeleteWhy does the end of life have to be so cruel? Whenever I hear the term, "Intelligent Design" I just have to laugh. I think not.
ReplyDeleteWe all need a friend to spend time with us.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the Bert update. Crocodile Dundee is a brilliant film.
ReplyDeleteI was worried that Bert had died. It's hard getting old and hard dying, it takes so long. It's like watching dominoes in slow motion, as first one thing and then another starts to go wrong, causing a cascade of events. I'm glad you're able to visit him and I'm sure he enjoys your visits very much.
ReplyDeleteI liked the Singing Postman, reminded me of Woody Guthrie.
Nice that you could spend some time with Bert and bring a bit of the pub back home to him. I've never heard that song and indeed I need subtitles to understand the words!
ReplyDeleteI listened to the song then went to the All-Knowing Google and found the lyrics and after reading them I could see why Bert chuckled at that old song. You're a good friend, Neil.
ReplyDelete