Don't tell me about pain. I have known that beast. He has gnawed at me so that nothing else was left in my head but the howling of pain.
Was it sixteen years ago? Lying on a cold hospital trolley at 2am, moaning with the agony when nobody came to mop my fevered bow or to even say "There! There!" I was waiting for daybreak when a surgeon would appear to drive the dragon back into his lair. I had a urethral stricture close by the sphincter that leads to my bladder and to put it simply, I couldn't piss. The pressure was building and I thought that I would burst. It was awful.
If someone had arrived at my cruelly designed high-sided hospital trolley bed with a revolver and had said "Would you like to extinguish your pain with this little baby?" I would have yelled "Yes! Yes! Give it here!" and I would have pressed the trigger close by my temple. Such was the pain.
Compared with that, the successive pains I have felt this calendar year have been insignificant. And yet they have still gnawed at me, threatening to hi-jack my senses, though I have strived to simply carry on.
It was back in August that I knelt awkwardly while doing a little painting job and that led to six weeks of limping like Hopalong Cassidy. And then a month ago I reached from one of our sofas to another to grab the laptop. My chest was pressed into the arm of the sofa and something went in my torso - a sudden knife in my ribs - broken or dislocatecd or maybe an injury to my right lung. It hurt like hell. I could only sleep on my back and every morning the pain gripped my chest like an invisible fist. Cue Ibuprofen and Paracetamol.
Then on Sunday, pain crept into my left foot. I think it is gout but it isn't in my big toe. Like the knee it has obliged me to limp. I just want it to go away. Tomorrow will be a lovely winter's day with bright sunshine illuminating the countryside for a few hours and I would love to be rambling in the Lincolnshire Wolds near to Market Rasen. Ten miles or more of vigorous plodding but at this juncture in time that seems like pure fantasy.
If you are currently pain-free dear blog visitor, be grateful and enjoy that sensation I am envious but hope that one day soon I will also know that lovely feeling again. I have had almost six months of it and I am getting fed up. One thing after another. Pain pain go away - come again some other day!