14 October 2011

Mockery

Above, you can see a doctored image of me recently produced by the talented New Zealand artist Ms Katherine De Chevalle. This faraway lady continues to doubt that my Beau is a real sheep. I deduce that the purpose of the doctored image is to turn me into the laughing stock of the blogosphere. Well go ahead everybody - laugh! I can take it because I believe in Beau. She's real. You can touch her. Many people out there believe in something called "God" yet you can't touch him or see him. He doesn't eat your grass. In contrast, even as I write these words I can see my Beau munching on the lawn. So who is more real - Beau or God?

Although she is bashful about her achievements on and off the rugby field, I have discovered that Katherine was once New Zealand's top hooker. Below you can see her racing to the try line whilst receiving the close attention of England's Fanny Winterbottom and Doris Scraggs. Unfortunately, after receiving a serious head injury, Katherine had to turn her attention away from rugby to her other great passion - art. I am sure you will agree that the sheep picture above showcases the richness of her talent.

14 comments:

  1. "Top hooker" means something else entirely over here across the pond.

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  2. RHYMES Really? I had no idea. Is it perchance a job associated with tree surgery?

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  4. The deleting is all my work. Can't believe my "better half" left her own blogging profile on my computer without logging off .. what are things coming to?!

    Anyway, get on with it, as the actress said to the bishop. Just wondered, who said God does not do grass? He (or she, or it) is obviously on something!

    Nice sheep by the way!

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  5. Hahahahaha! Very clever YP. I love it! (Psst don't worry Robert, he knows very well about the other meaning of hooker, I am sure.)

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  6. Non-existence of god? Can't you see the halo around Katherine's head? A bit ragged round the edges I'll grant you, but what do you expect when she's being scragged by Scraggs?

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  7. Pudding the sheep doesn't have quite the same ring to it as Shaun the sheep but the photo certainly does you justice, YP. ;)

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  8. BRIAN Glad you like my sheep. One thing's for sure - Beau won't be leaving her blogging profile on my computer.
    KATHERINE I am astounded. How exactly does Robert know about non-rugby playing hookers? He seems such a decent chap.
    SHOOTING PARROTS That's not a halo, it's static electricity caused by all the primping and brushing that Katherine used to do before taking to the field.
    JENNY Be careful what you say madam as you could be the next victim of my skilful photo-shopping! Where would you like your head to be stuck? Anne Widdecombe? Jordan? Beryl the Peril?

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  9. I must be more careful about which blogs I frequent. The author of this one just penned two of the most amazing lines in all of English literature:

    1. Glad you like my sheep.

    2. Where would you like your head to be stuck?

    Granted, they don't quite have the ring of "Whan that Aprille with its shoures soote / The droghte of Marche hath perced to the roote" but everyone has to start somewhere. Even D.H. Lawrence had to start somewhere, and look what he ended up with.

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  10. RHYMES WITH Oh thou has stabbed me to the quick thou heartless rogue!

    What did D.H. Lawrence end up with? A shelf for his ashes in a small chapel in Taos, New Mexico - far from the "country of his heart" in Nottinghamshire, England?

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  11. I was thinking more of Lady Chatterley's Lover...

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  12. You are the first person I have heard of with a plastic sheep on his lawn - I want one.

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  13. ELAINE RICKETT Plastic? Baah! Baah! What makes you think Beau's plastic?

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  14. Baah??? Again I say, Baah???

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Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.