29 March 2018

Wall

I'm gonna build a wall. A big, beautiful wall. And who's gonna pay for the wall? Yeah, that's right. Mexico gonna pay for the wall.

A few years back I made a little dividing wall up our garden using old bricks I had dug out of the lawn. Lord knows what the previous occupants were thinking of when they embedded hundreds of bricks in the ground. I used only a small proportion of them when arranging my wall but no cement to join them together. I guess it was a dry brick wall.
Back in December the wall tumbled over. Perhaps it was a strong wind wind or simply the fact that I hadn't bothered much about foundations.

On Monday, I set about reconstructing the ornamental wall. It took me about four hours and when it was done I put an old slate mantelpiece on top of it, I rescued this heavy item from the council allotment I cultivated between 1982 and 1989.

Having finished my wall I think that I am now more than qualified to take up a post as Donald J. Trump's Wall Secretary. As soon as we have finished the Mexican Wall we will start on the great Canadian Wall to keep out those pesky Frenchified Canadian peasants. And who's gonna pay for the wall? Yeah, that's right. Canada gonna pay for the wall.

26 comments:

  1. You could become part of the tourism industry, Yorkie. Become a tourist guide and, for a fee, guide people along the Great Wall of Sheffield.
    Your wall serves a further purpose, too...it will keep Beau and Peep from straying.

    I was going to say "don't give up your day job", but you've already done that. :)

    Well done, Mr. Pud!

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    1. I am delighted that you admire my magnificent wall Lee. It was partly inspired by Hadrian's Wall that once kept the Scots out of England.

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    2. It's success rate was far less than 100% though, wasn't it? Plus the Romans had no idea where the boundary between England and Scotland was! They were off by miles.

      Hadrian's surveyors must have had a bit too much vino that day.

      Realising their monumental error, Pius stepped in and ordered another wall to be built, the Antonine Wall, this time in Scotland.

      However, no wee wall was going to deter the determined Caledonians.

      Some of whom later even, in their wisdom, decided to by-pass England and they crossed not only the wall, but the ocean, too, and made to Gympie!

      The Gympie pipe band was named the "Caledonian Pipe Band.

      There is a "Caledonian Hill" in Gympie; and there used to be two Caledonian Hotels in Gympie.

      Be forewarned...on one of these braw bricht moonlicht nichts I might just step over your wall and come a-visiting!

      I won't arrive empty-handed, though. I'll have a bottle of the best Scotch whisky under my arm and a hamper of the best of Scottish cheeses, oatcakes and chutney! :) (And as a special treat, because you like it, a bottle or two of Sauvignon Blanc from New Zealand's Marlborough Sounds...and, of course, a couple of bottles of the best of Aussie reds...Henschke Hill of Grace and Penfolds Grange Hermitage.

      That should just about do it!

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    3. People of Scottish ancestry are not known for the generosity. In fact they are normally downright mean and penny-pinching... but not as miserly as Yorkists. In fact we are so mean we recycle bricks and won't even purchase mortar to join said bricks together.

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    4. I am, as you are fully aware, of Scottish heritage. I don't consider myself as being mean, or lacking in generosity. I know you know that, and were only tossing out a baited line . The fish are biting well today. Happy now? ;)

      It would appear, not only are "Yorkists" miserly with their bricks, but are of similar mind about the thought of using a vessel for mixing their mortar as they oughta. I hear tell they also wrestle with the thought of purchasing or using a pestle.

      And, after my generous offer of arriving arms laden with goodies to share, I am hurt. So, just for that, I'm going to sit on the northern side of the Antonine Wall, and keep my basket full of Scotch, wine, cheese, chutney and oatcakes for myself. I'll keep you updated by sending you pics of me enjoying my picnic. I will share my treats with any Highlanders who happen to stroll pass!

      My Clint sends Easter greetings to your Clint, by the way!



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    5. If you care to sit on the Antonine Wall at Bearsden then I'll come and join you, Lee. I pass there fairly often.

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    6. It's a deal, Graham...We'll have lots to chat about. Meet you at the wall. :)

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  2. I'm not seeing any cement. How's it kept together or is it another dry-stone? You could always get a job repairing the Great Wall of China. Now that WOULD keep you busy. Maybe North Korea would pay for that.

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    1. No cement. It is a new wall-building method that I have invented - dry-brick walling. The bricks cleverly interlock when carefully arranged. If you want a similar one in your garden you will find that my fees are reasonable.

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  3. Make Nottinghamshire pay for it!

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    1. Good idea, those Notts folk are often sneaking over the border.
      P.S. If you would like a similar wall in your West Hampstead garden, hotel accommodation and rail travel will be factored into my estimate.

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  4. Bricks are a rarity on Lewis (although there once was a brickworks not far from where I live) but I've made a few dry concrete block walls in my time.

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    1. Dry concrete blocks on Lewis? Given your "interesting" climate I thought they'd all be wet.

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  5. Here on the north shore of Long Island, we like to keep the mid-islanders confined to their malls and Levittowns. This is why we want to build a bridge across the Long Island Sound to Connecticut, so we can take our rightful place amongst the squires of New England. If only we could find a way to make Mexico pay for that bridge...

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    1. I imagine that New Englanders would resist such a proposal as it could impact negatively upon their gene pool.

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  6. Lovely wall, YP.

    However, I don't know if you noticed, and I hesitate to offend you with the observation of an untrained eye, but it appears to be only a partial wall, which might affect its purpose and usefulness.

    But it's a lovely partial wall! And as Lee said, Bo and Peep will certainly be contained :)

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    1. Yes, you're right. It is a partial wall. Technically it is known as an Irish wall.

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  7. Very nice wall - I like the slate on top. But in the words of Robert Frost I'd ask "What I was walling in or walling out?"

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    1. In the words of Frosty the Snowman I'd reply, ""Don't cry, I'll be back again some day."

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  8. If you should even THINK about doing anything with or for despicable Donald, even if you are my brother, I will never speak to you again!!!!

    Lovely brick wall. Lovely garden.

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    1. All those exclamation marks (exclamation points)! They have driven me to submission and I hereby declare that if DJT offers me any kind of job, I shall refuse it.

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  9. Will’a wall a wall, would’ wall’d a whole one... Wall on!

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  10. You know we just might bite to keep the menace out of here. so far Trump doesn't have plans to visit us.

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    1. Trump has already been to British Columbia disguised as a grizzly bear. He was seen catching salmon by the Fraser River.

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