4 November 2011


You must have seen the sign above. It's often in the rear windscreen of the car in front. But why is it there and how are other drivers meant to react to it?

It could be there as a proud announcement to the world as in: "We've got a baby and he/she is the apple of our eye and because we are so proud of our little baby we wanted to share our good news with the rest of the world!"

Or perhaps it's about fertility, as in: "We know that there are people out there who are incapable of having children but we don't belong in that category because we are normal and clearly fertile - as proved by the little person in the back!"

Or maybe there's a road safety message, as in: "We know that you suckers love to tailgate but whilst following us please adjust your driving habits and keep well back or you will be risking the life of our newly born little cherub!"

And when it says "on board", does it mean on a dartboard? A cheeseboard? How has the poor baby been secured to the board? What did it do wrong?

As you can tell, it puzzles me. Does the driver want me to smash into the back of his/her vehicle and dispose of the aforementioned baby? Am I meant to honk my horn as if to say "Congratulations! You're the first people in this city ever to travel with a baby on board! Whoopee!"

Do those who display these signs really imagine that the rest of us habitually drive around like lunatics smashing into vehicles that do not display "baby on board" signs? Do they really expect us to drive more carefully?

I have thought of an alternative car window sign. How about "No Baby on Board!" or better still "Making a Baby on Board!" And please don't get me going about that other dumb sticker you often see in rear windows: "A Dog is for Life Not Just for Christmas". What the hell is that about?


  1. DON'T GET ME STARTED!!!!!!!!!!

    I absolutely HATE the way that some parents (some remember) feel that they have more rights over everyone else only because they have a child


  2. I think they do it just to initiate a rise in your blood pressure, YP. ;)

  3. I was going to say what John Gray said: DON'T GET ME STARTED! I think the effect it's supposed to have is "Oh, well I WAS going to drive straight into the back of that car, like I often do - - but now I've seen they have a BABY ON BOARD I'll be a lot more careful." GAH!

  4. JOHN I should have also surmised that the stupid little yellow signs might also be seen as declarations of heterosexuality.
    JENNY Hey babe, I'm so chilled out I feel like a Birdseye fish finger!
    DAPHNE I wonder what sort of sticker you have in the back of your car? "Swimmers Do It In Flippers"?


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