Puzzled

You must have seen the sign above. It's often in the rear windscreen of the car in front. But why is it there and how are other drivers meant to react to it?

It could be there as a proud announcement to the world as in: "We've got a baby and he/she is the apple of our eye and because we are so proud of our little baby we wanted to share our good news with the rest of the world!"

Or perhaps it's about fertility, as in: "We know that there are people out there who are incapable of having children but we don't belong in that category because we are normal and clearly fertile - as proved by the little person in the back!"

Or maybe there's a road safety message, as in: "We know that you suckers love to tailgate but whilst following us please adjust your driving habits and keep well back or you will be risking the life of our newly born little cherub!"

And when it says "on board", does it mean on a dartboard? A cheeseboard? How has the poor baby been secured to the board? What did it do wrong?

As you can tell, it puzzles me. Does the driver want me to smash into the back of his/her vehicle and dispose of the aforementioned baby? Am I meant to honk my horn as if to say "Congratulations! You're the first people in this city ever to travel with a baby on board! Whoopee!"

Do those who display these signs really imagine that the rest of us habitually drive around like lunatics smashing into vehicles that do not display "baby on board" signs? Do they really expect us to drive more carefully?

I have thought of an alternative car window sign. How about "No Baby on Board!" or better still "Making a Baby on Board!" And please don't get me going about that other dumb sticker you often see in rear windows: "A Dog is for Life Not Just for Christmas". What the hell is that about?