Zachary on the left and our son Ian on the right. The photograph was taken just yesterday afternoon. Zach was six months old this week. He's coming on nicely. If you look closely you can see that his first tooth has come through. He's a pretty physical little fellow, rolling and threatening to crawl. Naturally he is the apple of his parents' eyes.
Ian will be forty years old this summer and Sarah, Zach's mother, is not far behind. I am sure that it crossed their minds, just a couple of years ago, that they might never be parents so having Zach has been a great blessing. He is much loved and well provided for.
I was thirty when Ian was born. Witnessing his birth in the delivery room at Nether Edge Hospital was perhaps the most joyous moment of my life. To see another human being coming into the world was so overwhelming that his gender meant nothing to me and I only realised he was male when the midwife in attendance announced, "You have got a beautiful baby boy!"
For almost forty years, I believe I have been a good father to Ian. There's no guidebook. You just have to go with your instincts. Of course it helped that I have a lovely wife who has always been a devoted, caring and capable mother. Nursing is essentially a practical job in which panicking should be avoided and Shirley brought a lot of that practicality and common sense to her mothering role.
We won't get to see Zach again until the middle of May when my whole family will descend upon a rather luxurious Portuguese villa just a stone's throw from the sea. Of course Zach will get to see his girl cousins again - including happy Margot who was born just nine days after him.
I didn't realize our sons were the same age. Quite the study in differences. Zac is a beautiful little boy and time in a Portugese Villa with your whole family sounds wonderful. You and Shirley are blessed.
ReplyDeleteNot only are we blessed - we know it.
DeleteAs someone who was nearly 40 when we had our last child, Ian needs to be prepared. When he drops young Zachary off at school, he will be doing so with others half his age. There is also a chance that one of the friends of Zachary will loudly announce that his Grandpa is here to pick him up when spotting Ian first and Zachary won't correct him. At least these are truths that I have learned.
ReplyDeleteAren't parents, on average, a little older now than they used to be one or two generations ago? At least that is my observation in the work environment; most of my colleagues who have become parents recently are in their early-to-mid 30s, not all that far away from 40.
DeleteYour observation is perfectly correct Meike. The average age for having children has increased significantly both for women and for men.
DeleteI've noticed that the average age is a lot higher in the U.K. than it is here in America. In the U.K. the average marriage age for men is nearly 35 years where it is only 30 years here in America. So perhaps my thoughts don't apply across the pond.
DeleteYou have some good memories here. Time goes by very quickly when we have little kids.
ReplyDeleteLooking back it seems like an express train.
DeleteI love admiring my own children be loving frazzled parents.
ReplyDeleteAs grandfathers we can sit in our rocking chairs and smoke our pipes as we observe the frazzlement.
DeleteThe Most Happy Fellas!
ReplyDeleteTogether Forever.
DeleteZach's tooth was the first thing I noticed. Of course you have been a good father, you are a kind and caring man and have passed those qualities on to your children.
ReplyDeleteAnd I in turn learnt this from my own parents.
DeleteA day-brightening picture of little Zach and his Dad!
ReplyDeleteTwo things I have noticed in this post: What's "threatening" about Zach crawling? And I wouldn't say "there is no guidebook" - there are tons of guidebooks for new (and not so new) parents out there, but how useful they really are, I can't say. (I guess you didn't mean it literally, anyway.)
You and Shirley have made a wonderful family when you became parents, and it shows - now your children are making equally good families. I am sure that much of it is due to BOTH of you playing big parts in your children's lives. It must be infinitely more difficult to raise children as a single parent, or as part of a couple where the other half is mostly absent or not caring.
What I meant is that there is no definitive guidebook and as for "threatening", it is a subtle and slightly ironic use of the word. One could "threaten" to fall in love with somebody or one could threaten to call in on one's best friend during the holiday season. It doesn't always have to have angry or violent undertones. You are right about the challenge of being a single parent.
DeleteThank you for explaining about the "threatening" bit. And I did get your meaning about there not being a guidebook right, just wanted to point that out :-)
DeleteI was watching a man this morning with his tiny daughter who must have been about 2 years old. I felt quite jealous; I loved my children when they were just tiny humans (I still love them now too). Then children get to around 12, and they should be locked away until they get to 18. From then on they get better and better.
ReplyDeleteEven those teenage years were fun to me - even if I didn't always know exactly what they were up to.
DeleteI remember being warned about "the terrible two's" but none of mine ever went through that tantrum stage. I was completely at a loss when witnessing a friend's child throwing a mighty tantrum because she wasn't allowed outside when visiting at another friend's house. (There were stairs and steep retaining walls out there where she might have hurt herself.) I was astonished at the kicking and screaming.
DeleteGrandfatherhood? I was 50 when daughter was born. Guess how she explained away the embarrassingly old man who collected her from school.
ReplyDeleteMaybe she told everybody that you were her fairy godfather,
DeleteYour pictures capture magical moments. We once stayed in a villa in the Algarve in Gale. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteIt is lovely to have a closely knit family and be able to all go on holiday together and share the babysitting. I was 40 when I had Kay. I wasn't brave enough to have any more as I had been very much treated like a geriatric mother even with that pregnancy, but I feel it has kept me young and people say I don't look my age at all.
ReplyDeleteMy nephew and his wife had a baby this week, the first one in the family in about 35 years
ReplyDeleteI had the exact same reaction when Hank was born. Gender was absolutely beyond the point of anything. It was a BABY!
ReplyDeleteAnd what a fine baby little Zachary is.
Zach is a very sweet little boy and that photo is delightful.
ReplyDeleteA fabulous photo!
ReplyDeleteHow lovely to share a holiday. These are the days of our lives. Hope you all have a lovely time together. X
They both look as though they are enjoying life to the full!
ReplyDeleteWhat a happy photo of Zach and Ian! I get a photo every day from my middle son, Matt, of his youngest, Adam, who is now 4 months old. They live too far away so I don't get to see him often.
ReplyDeleteI cherish all of my 7 grandkids and envy you your upcoming gathering. Two of my grandsons are near but the rest are spread out and busy!
They are both good looking guys
ReplyDeleteIan was born just as I was about to go to university, that same summer. Wild! My father always said his children were his proudest achievement. I never felt like I wanted kids myself, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't sometimes wonder what it would have been like.
ReplyDelete