Yesterday the Lord spake, leaving a sign above Yorkshire's Pennine hills in the unusual and rather beautiful shape of a lenticular cloud. By the way, contrary to rumour, Len Ticular was not Yorkshire's wicket keeper in the nineteen twenties! No, clearly this was a sign from the Almighty himself. You can see how the cloud is pointing westwards.
Interpretation is easy. Essentially, Our Father Which Art in Heaven is telling the Manchester blogger Mr Parrots to return to his native environment - the rain-sodden western slopes of the Pennines - a grim Third World dependency known as Lancashire. Mr Parrots has been in hiding in Cleckhuddersfax - a mythical, photogenic and historical Yorkshire market town much visited by American tourists in search of their roots.
Obviously, if Mr Parrots fails to obey the Lord's clear instruction he will probably self-combust or end up as a pillar of salt. The purity of the Yorkshire race must be protected. We are "God's own county" and we cannot afford the risk that Mr Parrots will mate with a Yorkshire beauty - yes, even a parking enforcement officer. On behalf of all trueblood Yorkshire men and women, I urge Mr Parrots to obey God's signal and return to his crumbling mill town for Christmas.