I never really thought I would ever follow in my son's footsteps and become a male model but after yesterday's post I have been inundated with offers. Reluctantly, I agreed to pose for the front cover of "Vanity Fair" - admittedly for a handsome fee. For Dutch spirit I had to down two cans of strong lager and was, as requested, provided with a handgun as I strongly suspected that Julian - the mincing photographer - was a gay homosexual poof.
The lurex mini-briefs I agreed to model come in various different patterns and colours including leopardskin, rainbow and day-glo orange. Gentlemen - they are sure to drive your partners wild!
I look forward to further modelling opportunities when I hope not to be disguised as Santa. As you can see, my physique with rippling biceps and beefy abs is sure to colour the night-time imaginings of many's the fair damsel. I just can't help it. Some of us have got it and others haven't .