11 April 2012


? < That's how I thought I should title this blogpost and I think that some of my British visitors will know exactly why. Here I am sitting in Dubai's massive terminal building on my lonesome. Well - there's hundreds of other people here but NOT the travelling companions who should have been with me. 

I waited till the last possible moment at the main information desk in Terminal 1 at Manchester Airport but nobody else appeared - no Mick, no Earl John Gray with his poultry and dog baskets, no Shooting Parrots, no Dame Daphne, no Libby and not even the Countess of Wrexham - the lovely Jennyta. The nice lady at the information desk even put an announcement over the tannoy system in the other terminals.
At Dubai Airport
I feel like a spotty teenage boy left standing outside a cinema,waiting for his date to turn up and then gradually realising that he has been stood up - it was all just a sick joke. Why the hell did you guys string me along like this? What am I meant to say to the sponsors? It's all very embarrassing. Up at the front of business class on my Emirates flight here I was on my tod when I had expected I'd be getting to know my fellow bloggers. Oh woe is me!

Well all I can say is it's your loss! You'll not be laughing when the sponsors send round their debt collectors - Knuckles and Beefy. No. you won't be laughing then!

Anyway, I'm sure the other emigrants from foreign countries like the USA, New Zealand, Australia and Catalonia won't have chickened out. They'll be waiting for me in Phuket and we'll travel on to Blogland without you cowardy custards! And we'll build a world of our own...


  1. I am typing this, tearful and sobbing in the police holding cell of the airport!
    apparently my chicken feed has been mistaken for grade II cocaine and 4 buffs have been taken off me to have their crops stomach pumped for illegal drugs....
    a security guard has strangled Boris and is in the process of plucking him and someone has stollen all of my matt cardle cds!!!!
    IWANT TO GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. I'm afraid I have been bound and gagged by Keith, YP. He just couldn't accept that we had to leave for Blogland without his beloved NASA... :( I'm trying to persuade Paddy and Jake to chew through the ropes but they are so stupid, they just dance around me barking with laughter.

  3. EARL GRAY Oh dear John! Please accept my apologies for assuming that you'd just not appeared at the airport and may I advise that you don't look while Boris is being plucked!
    JENNY (Countess of Wrexham) When Knuckles and Beefy come to your door, may I suggest that you send Keith out to deal with them. He would have had his own new and bigger Super-NASA in Blogland.

  4. "oh the plucking !!!!!!oh the plucking!!!"
    it's just like watching Deliverance
    some guard has just painted a moustache on my russell crowe photo

  5. I know! I know! But he's very attached to his own NASA and now, so am I. He's handcuffed me to it and is refusing to see reason!

  6. Here in the USA I had plans to greet you wearing a chicken suit but I see that plan has to be scrapped. How do you think airport security feels about the 2500 cotton balls that I glued onto my sheep costume?

  7. Oh Dear, Oh Dear, Oh Dear !!! We are are a Mr Grumpy Grumpy, a wee bit crabby !!!. well I never expect that from such a man I held in high regarded, who I considered to be a person of high rank.
    I am accused of ‘chickening out” nothing could be farther from the truth, the fault lies with the logistics and the arrangements for Airline ticket collection, reception had no knowledge of a ticket in my name after hour of arguing with them security was called and I was roughly manhandled from the airport. I am now camped out on the Airports grass lawn and using a internet cafe trying to find out what the hell went wrong. [Laptop, iPad and iPhone had been sold] - Mick

  8. Yp, I am dropping you this sorrowful note to say that I will not be there in Phuket to greet you either. Ican't do it I'm afraid. My 90 year old parents need me here to look after them !
    I thought I could do it ( sob), I thought I could leave all my responsibilities behind and just have some ME time (sob)but when the time came ( right at the gates of the departure lounge )I just couldn't do it (sob).
    I'll be thinking of you in Blogland Paradise. I think my travel insurance covers defaulting because of ill parents so at least the debt collectors will not be after me.

  9. PS We took a photo of ourselves just before we left for the airport. I'll post it on my blog to to show you how excited we were and how disappointed we are now.
    Helen (sob)

  10. OMG (which apparently means Oh My God), I should have known it wasn't such a good idea to spray paint pro-Catalan graffiti all over the airport loos, and keep the can in my hand luggage. But don't worry, if I can just persuade these nice Guardia Civils to give me back my passport, and remove their truncheonss from my ..... I'll still try my best to get there somehow - let's hope Ryanair are still open, they say that for a good tip they'll fly you anywhere ....

  11. KELLY BARTELS Your geographical radar seems to be malfunctioning! How do airport security feel about your cotton balls? I guess they feel about with their bare hands!
    MICK I am so sorry that I jumped to a wrong conclusion about your commitment. Unfortunately, if you do follow me to Blogland you will now have to pay for your own ticket. However, I have hacked into your bank account and I can see you'll easily be able to afford it.
    HELEN You might have let us know before now! The sponsors were very generous and now your tickets are wasted. I was so looking forward to ogling your leopardskin print bikini and running with you into the surf.
    BRIAN I had no idea that you are a trained Catalonian freedom fighter/terrorist. I hope the truncheon isn't causing you too much discomfort.

  12. Hi the Yorkshire Pudding.
    No can do !!! the money you found in my bank account doesn’t belong to me it belongs to the Inland Revenue therefore buying my own ticket is a no go. Oh well !!! blogland venture sounded good and I was looking forward to the Driftwood cottage. Daughter No 1 came and picked me up and I’m now staying with her house and dog sitting, perhaps its for the best.
    I wish all the residents of blogland all the best for the future - Mick.

  13. The government snoopers got wind of my diversionary post about Bessie Braddock and they must have a mole because a crypto-marxist group has been threatening a revenge attack. We're hoping to get our hands on a couple of false passports and will join you as soon as we can.

  14. May Day! May Day! May Day!


    Check my blog immediately....


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