21 December 2012


So frequently you see them just sitting there next to the toilet bowl. They come in different designs and colours. There are posh ones and dirt cheap ones. Usually they rest in little plastic or ceramic containers to catch the drips. I am talking about toilet brushes folks! What a fascinating topic!

I want to let you into a little secret. For the first twenty five years of my life, I never once used a toilet brush. I would see them sitting there in "rest rooms" like ornaments but I hardly gave them a moment's thought. I guess I assumed they were put there ready for cleaners to use. It never occurred to me that when you despoiled the virgin whiteness of a lavatory bowl you were meant to clean up with the brush yourself! Nobody had told me.

They probably just assumed that the purpose of a toilet brush would be obvious but to me it wasn't. In my view, alongside sex education and drug awareness, schoolchildren should be taught about the humble toilet brush. There'd be practical sessions followed by careful scrutiny by judges. In Design Technology the kids would design their own toilet brushes and in Music toilet brushes (clean) would be used as pretend microphones.

To anyone who may have followed me into toilet cubicles from 1953 to 1978, may I hereby apologise wholeheartedly for any unpleasantness I may have left behind. To repeat myself, I simply didn't know - even though most unfortunately ignorance is no defence in the eyes of the law. Have you got a toilet brush tale to tell?


  1. I noticed your lamentable ignorance after you had visited here, but was too polite to mention it. Well done for admitting it now. Better late than never. No-one's perfect. Carpe latrina lautus!

  2. If that is the only thing you want to get off your chest before the end of the world, I don't think you will have too much to worry about when meeting your Maker!

  3. KATHERINE Madam I protest! One's visit to the holy throne room during one's visit to your riverside eyrie did not involve any sitting down.
    HIPPO Ha! Ha1 Millud - there are other things but they are sealed beneath the concrete patio of my memory.

  4. Some days you're the toilet and other days you're the toilet brush.

  5. I think it's admirable that you have "come clean" about your toilet brush ignorance. Pun intended.

  6. I can honestly say that I do NOT have ANY story to share about bog brushes!


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