For some mysterious reason, one of my past posts - "Priory" is regularly targeted by spammers. I get fed up of clearing up their crap. Here are three examples that I recently snipped before decanting them into a virtual zinc bucket marked "Sewage":-
Not only are the vile and greedy perpetrators of these unwelcome "comments" invading blogs without invitation, they are also guilty of mangling the English language. It is as if they put dictionaries in mincing machines that then churn out such nonsensical garbage they make "Jabberwocky" read like logical washing powder instructions.
It is disappointing that the guardians of the internet - Microsoft, Google, Apple, national governments etc. haven't found ways of clamping down on the parasitical activities of Alice, Alix, Melinda and all the rest. Nobody wants them or needs them. Whatever they are trying to sell is dodgy to say the least and nobody in their right minds would ever be drawn in by their cancerous piggyback blogpost comments.
They are the blogosphere's equivalent of nuisance phone calls from trawling call centres that interrupt so many people's lives. I had one yesterday when I was sitting at our dining room table, enjoying a £2.50 lunch of mini fish and chips and mushy peas from our recently reopened Banner Cross Fish and Chip Shop. I got up from the table, picked up the phone and there was the usual silence. "Hello?...Hello?". Finally an Asian voice appears - "Hello, how are you today?"
"I was feeling fine till you phoned! Never phone this number again and I suggest you get a proper job!" Then I put the phone down and returned to my rudely interrupted lunch. My midday peace had been spoilt.
I don't invade Melinda, Alix or Alice's lives but if I could I would send them regular spam blog comments inviting them to subscribe to an online English language improvement course run by the redoubtable Professor Pudding and his American associate Dr Brague:-
Having trouble with basic English grammar? Struggling to get your message across? We guarantee we can improve the quality of your spam comments by 100%. You were probably a dunce at school - incapable of stringing sentences together - but it is never too late to change. Our effective online courses are individually tailored for clients' needs. These expert first aid services are reasonably priced. Contact the Professor Pudding Online Language School without delay!