Katherine

Me

Oh jubilation! Oh joy! I am no longer alone in Blogland! Okay there were always the Burmese servants but to me they have sometimes seemed like aliens from another planet. Most of them don't speak English and I am sure they view me like a feudal lord. So, imagine my delight when the tiny black speck I had seen on the horizon drew closer across the turquoise sea so that after an hour I realised it was a woman in a canoe. And not only a woman in a canoe but one I had met before - Katherine de Chevalle, the well-known New Zealand artist and muffin baker.

I waited on the beach and Katherine snapped me with her i-phone. Please don't think I'm turning into a transvestite - the traditional blue sarong simply makes for practical beach wear - especially when one's lilac speedos are dripping on the washing line.

She was in a pretty sorry state - emaciated and thirsty. When she climbed out of her dugout canoe, she was staggering, as if her thin kiwi-like legs couldn't support her so I acted as her crutch and guided her off the beach and along the palm path to the social club where she downed three pints of Tetley's bitter in a row as she told me of the difficulties she had faced just getting to Blogland. An incredible journey.

Katherine at Aotearoa Villa

I am sure you will agree that she deserves a medal, so before guiding her to her new home - Aotearoa Villa -  I rushed back to my place to see what I had in my jewellery chest. It's where I keep my medallions, gold sovereign rings and gold piercing rings and studs. And there I spotted a nice piece of bling I once bought in Harlem, New York City. This would surely do nicely for Katherine - to mark her unexpected but joyous arrival in Blogland.

So back at Aotearoa Villa, I presented her with the special medallion. She grinned inanely with gratitude. I think the heatstroke and  the Tetley's "fix" was getting to her by now. All she wanted to do was climb into her hammock and sleep. I promised I'd come back to see her this evening. I cannot tell you how happy I am to know that I am no longer alone in Blogland. May I say that rumours of infidelity and lust already put about by Mr Brague and Waltzing Helen are completely unfounded. Based on their own unsavoury urges, they may find it hard to believe but a man and a woman certainly can be "just good friends".