Blogposts

      I am sure we are all aware of the dangers of alcohol for health and mental well-being. Last night your affectionate correspondent ventured out to the local hostelry to quaff a few quarts of foaming ale. The Tuesday evening quiz was on and with two other fellows - Jonathan and Mark (Richard is on holiday on a faraway desert island called Australia) - we managed to win a famous victory over the seethingly jealous opposition. Later your correspondent staggered home, sometimes leaning on lamp-posts and  parked cars for support. Arriving home, he flopped in the computer chair and wrote the following nonsense which this morning I was tempted to delete. However, we must face our demons and I have retained it as a warning to all bloggers - Never blog when inebriated! You might produce some tripe like this:- 

This afternoon I went down to the local DIY superstore to purchase a bunch of sturdy blogposts. When I got home, I hammered those blogposts into the ground with my ten pound sledgehammer. It was sweltering work in the 30 degree heat but finally the blogposts were in situ and miraculously all standing vertical. Then I rolled out the barbed wire and wearing heavy duty protective gloves nailed it into place - blogpost by blogpost. Finally my corral was finished.

Next I had to herd the blogs. They were running all over the place. I grabbed Going Gently by the hind legs and chucked him into the enclosure. Rhymes With Plague was bleating and kicking off but with a little brute force, he was also over the barbed wire fence. Carol from Cairns was looking rather sheepish so all I needed was a handful of high protein "nuts" to get her into the fold along with prize-winning Helsie's Happenings and coy Demob Happy Teacher.

As the evening arrived, I was dead beat having cajoled and tethered over twenty blogs. Hippo on the Lawn's friskiness convinced me it was almost time for the nutcrackers while in the far corner of the paddock Lettice Leaf was prancing like a thoroughbred - probably a mating ritual aimed at alpha male Shooting Parrots. Just then, all in a panic, Cosumne Girl burst through the fence sending a couple of blogposts flying. Soon almost all the blogs escaped - Tannu Tuva, My Dad's A Communist, Adrian's Images, D-Scribes - all running off down the lane like prison escapees.

I knew I should have made the blogposts myself and used concrete to fix them in place. They  just don't make blogposts like they used to do!

This is surely proof that, inebriation apart, I must be stark, raving mad!