Anglesey

We are thinking of visiting The Isle of Anglesey in April. We have only ever driven across it to get to the ferry port at Holyhead but have never properly visited it. Last night I was looking for accommodation - sifting through a whole bunch of listings. 

Of course, the owners want to "big up" their properties, making them seem desirable and worth booking. They often use positive, flowery language for describing both the accommodation and the surrounding area. Here was one example. I have emboldened the subtly impactful descriptive vocabulary:-

The rural village of Llanddaniel Fab is ideally situated just 2 miles from the beautiful Menai Straits, on the south coast of the delightful Isle of Anglesey, and provides a local shop and an all weather, 9 hole golf course. Discover the magnificent Llanddwyn Beach, 3 miles of golden sands boasting stunning walks and striking views across the glistening sea toward the Welsh Mountains, or explore the fascinating National Nature Reserve, renowned for its colourful birdlife, whispering forest and huge sweep of marshes and dunes. The National Trust's Plas Newydd country house and gardens is a short drive and well worth a visit.The whole of the island boasts superb watersports, fishing, diving and walking opportunities. A wonderful location for a varied and enjoyable holiday.

Just for fun, I have written an alternative, downbeat version of this blurb...

The isolated settlement of Llanddaniel Fab is located two miles from the dangerous Menai Straits. on the rocky coast of the impoverished Island of Anglesey and only has a basic local shop and a small golf course that some desperate golfers even tackle in the rain. Relieve the tedium by trudging to litter-strewn Llanddwyn Beach, three miles of monotonous sand that furtive dog owners plod along sometimes looking across the grey Irish Sea towards the equally grey and cloudy Welsh hills, or instead you might want to go to the mildly interesting National Nature Reserve, where bird spotters in khaki anoraks scribble sightings of common birds in old notebooks and where there's an impenetrable pine plantation and a large area of boggy ground with windswept sand dunes. The National Trust's expensive Plas Newydd estate house and grounds is several miles away and something to do if you can't think of anything else. At a few places on the coast of the island you can pay through the nose for watersport activities in the freezing sea. There's also fishing - but don't expect to catch anything, diving - but you won't see anything and of course long, tiring walks. A satisfactory place to go for a budget break.

But that was just an exercise. I think we'll still be going to Anglesey and have failed to persuade myself otherwise.

North Wales