He shuffled into the Oxfam shop. Lean, with bloodshot eyes and a salt and pepper beard, he was well wrapped up but I recognised him as the homeless man who is often seen sitting on his haunches outside the bank at Hunter's Bar roundabout. Before the Conservative Party took a hold of this great nation's government we never saw any homeless people in south west Sheffield which has always been a pretty affluent area.
I was adding more books to the shelves. He came into the heart of the shop and asked me a question. "Av ye gorreny ******?" The last word was lost on me. I thought he was saying "clothes".
"Yes sir. Over here. We've got shirts, jumpers, trousers, jackets. What are you looking for?"
I could smell stale alcohol on his breath.
"No, not ******, I want ******!"
And then I thought he was saying "cloves", imagining that he was planning to make mulled wine. It seemed unlikely but I said "I think you'll be able to get some cloves in Sainsburys - just up the road!"
"No, not ******, I want ******! Dunt anybody speak Inglish in ere?" he slurred. "Spect you can all talk African. I want ******!"
And then a female customer piped up with, "I think he's saying gloves!"
The homeless man was relieved. "Yeah! Yeah! ****** (gloves). That's what I want but they av to be real cheap. Bout a quid. Me 'ands are that cold and I brock this 'un in the summer. I can't feel it."
I looked in the basket where gloves are normally displayed but there weren't any. I apologised and he went on his way probably thinking he'd just been talking to a moron. Perhaps I should get my hearing checked. In the meantime I am going to see if I can find him some old gloves and take them down to Hunters Bar as an early Christmas gift. He'll probably say "No! Not ******! I wanted ******!"
Good job he didn't want fork handles.
ReplyDeleteThis year I bought some cards from The Dove House Hospice in Hull showing four garden fork handles with burning candles affixed... "Four Candles"/"Fork Handles"
DeleteIt's a rare post by anyone that can make me tear up and laugh in the same breath, but you've done it here, Mr. PM. I hope he doesn't freeze, poor fellow.
ReplyDeleteI hoped this post would have that effect!
DeleteWell, can you all talk African?
ReplyDeleteNope! There's no such language as African! In his mind he was just recalling that Oxfam regularly addresses crises in Africa.
DeleteIf you can't find any old ones, maybe you could pick up a cheap new pair. And some socks, homeless people always need socks.
ReplyDeleteI asked Shirley for some socks for Christmas so I will pass on some of my old socks to the homeless people around Hunter's Bar. There's only five or six regulars.
DeleteI feel for the homeless. It would be a terrible, fearful state in which to be. No one would want to wish that situation upon anyone. So sad....
ReplyDeleteI often wonder what would happen to me and where I would end up if I ever had to vacate my very humble premises. It's a frightening thought.
Many people could easily slip through the net. There but for the grace of God go any of us...
DeleteMany homeless people are mentally ill. It's so sad, especially in the winter. :(
ReplyDeleteYes. Wintertime is very challenging for the homeless. Sadly, it seems that a proportion of them are habitual drug users.
DeleteIt's so hard to see the homeless population here in Oregon--your little story cheered me up. For me, the best I can do is look people in the eye and acknowledge their existence, which I think matters.
ReplyDeleteRecently, I was grocery shopping in a local shopping complex, and had to park quite a ways away from the store. When I got to my car, I looked around to see if anyone could help me load a heavy carton of logs into the car. I knew I couldn't lift it, so I asked the next person I saw, clearly homeless and looking pretty bedraggled, if he'd do a good deed and help me with the loading. He paused for just a second, and then very politely lifted the box into my car. I thanked him, and as he left a local police car pulled up beside me and the officer asked if that man had been bothering me. I said no, I had asked for his help and he seemed glad to be of help. The cop looked a bit surprised and then said "Thank you, Mam," with a big smile.
The real joke is that my car license is out of date, and I was sure the cop was going to notice and give me a warning or a ticket (he didn't). So I guess it was good karma all around.
My wife and I were shocked about the number of homeless people we saw in Portland a couple of years back. Some of them were pretty aggressive too. Thanks for sharing your story Kate.
DeleteWe have become quite hardened to homeless people in London. It was surprising to go to Amsterdam recently and not see any.
ReplyDelete